Yeah, so, last week on Facebook I had a status that said, “Sonia Mansfield will show you on the doll where the bad man touched her.”
I thought it was hilarious. Some people said it was funny, while other people told me it made them cringe (which really makes it even funnier in my book).
So anyway, it got me thinking about the least popular Facebook status messages. Here’s 10 that I came up with, but keep in mind that I’m saying they are unpopular, so just save your “I’m offended” emails and comments.
_____________ is suffering from an outbreak.
_____________ was touched by an uncle.
_____________ wants the terrorists to win.
_____________ thinks Jay Leno is hilarious.
_____________ doesn’t give a shit about Dafur.
_____________ thinks breast cancer isn’t all bad.
_____________ doesn’t know who her real father is.
_____________ thinks people suffering from depression just need to rub some dirt on it and walk it off.
_____________ has this strange rash.
_____________ thinks homeless people are just lazy.
November 12, 2008 at 11:47 am
I wanted to keep this list at 10, but Aaron encouraged me to add this one …
_______________ is afraid of black people.
November 12, 2008 at 11:56 am
____________ thinks whores get a bad rap.
November 12, 2008 at 11:57 am
____________ pays for sex.
November 12, 2008 at 12:01 pm
________was elected president of the Chicks With Dicks Association.
November 12, 2008 at 12:02 pm
_________ admires Paula Abdul.
November 12, 2008 at 12:04 pm
_____________spent the night waiting in line for Hanson tickets.
November 12, 2008 at 12:07 pm
__________ thinks your AIDS is a downer.
November 12, 2008 at 12:07 pm
__________ has a favorite child.
November 12, 2008 at 12:08 pm
__________ wasn’t pro-choice until you came along.
November 12, 2008 at 12:11 pm
____________secretly enjoys being constipated.
November 12, 2008 at 12:13 pm
__________ attended Karen’s party, but skipped Dylan’s.
November 12, 2008 at 12:21 pm
___________ thought Gandhi was a douchebag.
November 26, 2011 at 7:53 am
Fuck u
November 12, 2008 at 12:34 pm
___________blogs out of loneliness.
November 12, 2008 at 12:35 pm
__________ pees on the toilet seat on purpose.
November 12, 2008 at 12:42 pm
______________ invented the money-shot
November 12, 2008 at 12:43 pm
______________ thinks she was asking for it.
November 12, 2008 at 12:43 pm
__________ thinks rape is kinda sexy.
November 12, 2008 at 12:43 pm
_______________contacted a local columnist and forced him into an uncomfortable friendship
November 12, 2008 at 12:46 pm
_____________ doesn’t care about starving people in Africa.
November 12, 2008 at 12:52 pm
__________ genuinely believes the Nazis got a bum wrap.
November 12, 2008 at 12:56 pm
____________ thought Hitler was kinda cute.
November 12, 2008 at 1:01 pm
________enjoyed a mustache ride from Hitler.
November 12, 2008 at 1:12 pm
___________ loves anal rape.
November 12, 2008 at 1:13 pm
________________believes orphans are orphans for a reason.
November 12, 2008 at 1:16 pm
________________thinks the Golden Rule is overrated.
November 12, 2008 at 1:38 pm
___________ farts and then pretends she didn’t do it.
November 12, 2008 at 2:18 pm
____________didn’t invent the stinky sanchez… but perfected it!
November 12, 2008 at 2:59 pm
_______________believes animals need love too, but draws the line at cuddling afterwards.
November 12, 2008 at 3:19 pm
________________was the second shooter.
November 12, 2008 at 3:19 pm
______________cuddles afterwards.
November 12, 2008 at 3:32 pm
_______________wastes INORDINATE amounts of company time.
November 12, 2008 at 3:35 pm
HeyJoe, I think that one is more popular than you think.
November 12, 2008 at 4:20 pm
_____________ is hardly ever gay anymore.
November 12, 2008 at 6:06 pm
______________ is a fan of “Fox & Friends.”
November 12, 2008 at 7:54 pm
________hopes that hooker doesn’t remember where he lives.
November 14, 2008 at 4:09 pm
___________respects your right to kill unborn children
___________figured out that he can fit two fingers in his child’s butthole.
___________thinks skinheads have some pretty smart ideas.
___________wants all republicans to die by lethal injection
___________wants all Christians to finally accept that there is no god
___________thinks the colored fella might make a fine president.
___________argues Hitler’s genius was largely misunderstood.
___________respects your right to choose, just not to choose an abortion.
___________will gladly teach your child how to masturbate.
___________wishes he could cum prodigiously.
___________is fascinated with the mindlessly false dichotomy between “authentic” and “fake” people.
___________thinks gay people have every right to enter into the seventh circle of hell that is marriage.
___________ does a terrific Down’s Syndrome impression
___________ can smell his own asshole
___________respects and admires every person who claims he or she just “is”
___________is bow hunting the homeless
___________ hired the funniest retard
___________is scratching his itchy asshole
November 14, 2008 at 4:13 pm
You, sir, spent some time on your list!
November 15, 2008 at 12:01 am
____ is rocking the visible panty lines.
November 15, 2008 at 12:01 am
____ didn’t wash her hands.
November 15, 2008 at 12:02 am
____ smells her own farts.
November 15, 2008 at 12:04 am
____ buys beer for underage drinkers.
November 15, 2008 at 12:04 am
____ forgot the baby in the car.
November 15, 2008 at 12:06 am
____ likes to talk about her period.
November 15, 2008 at 12:10 am
___ would like to tell you about her special dietary needs and food allergies.
November 15, 2008 at 12:12 am
___ forwards Internet jokes to everyone in her address book.
November 15, 2008 at 12:14 am
____ can quote every Simpsons episode. =-P
November 15, 2008 at 12:20 am
___ thinks she has a great sense of humor.
November 17, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Sara, all of these are gold! Pure gold!
August 7, 2009 at 11:27 am
____keeps reading facebook statuses and when mother sais to go do something i say i am doing something very important and cant talk right no bye.
August 7, 2009 at 11:28 am
** right now
August 14, 2009 at 12:34 pm
___ wants to be the owner of face book
August 14, 2009 at 12:36 pm
____ thinks face book is a serious waste of time.
August 14, 2009 at 12:39 pm
____ thinks a girl who likes to write, eat, drink, talk smack, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, feed her unhealthy obsession with pop culture, do yoga, make fun of people behind their backs, walk the dog, go to the movies, talk about TV, live out loud, listen in on strangers’ conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, add things to her ever-expanding Shit List, and post personal things about herself on the web for all to read is full of C R A P.
May 18, 2011 at 3:15 pm
Most of these are unpopular in the sense that a lot of people won’t like them or will be offended by them but they will actually be popular in terms of the number of comments you will receive from them.
Depends how you look at it I guess?