Shit Sonia Says

Yeah, so, every five minutes a new “Shit Someone Says” video goes viral.

I decided to write up a quick post before folks run out of ideas and they make a “Shit Sonia Says” video. I would write a “Shit” post about another group (perhaps “Shit People Say About Those Shit People Say Videos”), but I’m really only qualified to write about myself, because I’m self involved and vain as hell.

So anyway, here you go – Shit Sonia Says:

• “What a dum-dum.”
• “Rad!”
• “Somehow I will find the courage to go on living.”
• “I’m such a shithead.”
• “Why do you hate me?”
• “It’s not a big deal, but …”
• “Spawn.”
• “I saw that on the news … Yes, I mean ‘The Daily Show.”
• “It could be worse.”
• “Duh.”
• “D’oh.”
• “HA!”
• “Wah-wah.”
• “Fact.”
• “I’m not drunk enough for this.”
• “Seriously.”
• “Eek!”
• “Sorry, this is not for Homers.”
• “I need to do more yoga.”
• “There’s a typo on the menu.”
• “I don’t breastfeed my baby because I don’t love him enough.”
• “I read on the gossip sites that …”
• “Weirdo.”
• “That’s from an episode of ‘The Simpsons’.”
• “I was talking to my sister the other day about that.”
• “Stop steaming up my tail!”
• “I would rather sew up my vagina than have sex with Newt Gingrich.” (Shit I’ve actually said to good buddy Kate)
• “I read in my Entertainment Weekly that …”
• “I second that emotion.”
• “Mmmhmmm.” (In a tone similar to the perverted old man on “Family Guy,” even though I don’t watch “Family Guy.” I don’t. I swear! It’s David’s fault!)
• “I saw this thing on Twitter …”
• “If I was going to write a craft blog, I would call it Bitch Craft.” (More shit I have said to Kate)
• “I’m going to do one of those walks to raise money for knocker sickness.”
• “Yeah, so …”