Yeah, so, The Man loves guns. My dad even has a plague of the Second Amendment hanging over his fireplace.
True story. See?
When I was pregnant with the Spawn, and I told The Man I was having a boy, he went to the first Cabela’s he could find and bought my unborn son a BB gun.
In fact, my dad’s love of guns was making me kinda dread Christmas dinner at my parents’ house. Dad’s gun lust + the shooting in Newton = heated Christmas dinner conversation.
I was preparing myself for long speeches about how Obama is coming for my dad’s hunting rifles, guns don’t kill people, etc. I bite my tongue a lot when I’m around my dad or some of my parents’ friends, who love to regurgitate Fox News talking points. During Thanksgiving dinner one of our family friends said something about how great Mitt Romney is. I rolled my eyes so hard that the neighbors complained.
Arguing with my dad is something I did a lot in my 20s. I really thought I could change his mind. Now, I’m 42. He’s 64. I’m over it. I can’t change his mind. Now when my dad says something I find horrifyingly ignorant, I respond with a polite, “Oh, that’s so interesting. Do you have some kind of newsletter I can subscribe to so I can learn more?”
Does that make me part of the problem?
I don’t think I can change his mind, and I don’t want to argue gun control with my dad on Christmas. I just want to spend time with my family. HOWEVER, I prepared myself for the gun control battle anyway. I started mentally filing away statistics and facts about guns and gun control. I was ready. But then something funny happened … it never came up.
I know, right?
The Man never mentioned it. We watched “A Christmas Story” like we always do. We had a delicious dinner. We talked about the San Francisco Giants. We sat across from each other in the living room and let Calvin practice his walking back and forth between the two of us. It was awesome.
In truth, I wouldn’t say my dad is a gun nut, but he does have hunting rifles, which he purchased legally and keeps in a gun safe. He doesn’t own any automatic weapons. Even though I grew up in a house full of guns, I find guns to be completely scary, and I hate to be around them. I would never have a gun in my house. But, of course, like any liberal daughter, I totally mock his gun ownership, but when the zombie apocalypse starts, you know damn well I will be running to daddy for protection.

December 28, 2012 at 7:40 am
My brother is the same way, and I was kind of dreading the possibility of that discussion coming up at Christmas. But it didn’t, and I’m grateful for it.
December 28, 2012 at 9:14 am
We split from my dad’s place at about the same time the gun control/Newtown conversation started among my brother and stepbrothers. The timing was glorious.
I’m the token liberal in my family.
January 7, 2013 at 11:18 am
Conversation I had in Northern Idaho surrounded by my Fox-loving, Rush Limbaugh quoting relations, who have gun racks on their pick up trucks.
Aunt Pat – Andi, how do you manage to not get upset what with being surrounded by all your Fox loving, Rush Limbaugh quoting aunts and uncles?
Me – *opening up a 2nd bottle of wine and smiling* Would you like to join me in another drink, Aunt Pat?
April 9, 2013 at 2:53 pm
Yea, stay drunk on cheap wine and you will not see what is realy happening to the 2nd amendment and peoples rights. Yea, we need more idiots like you bleeding hearts to determine the rights of free people! They will take religion, the bible and GOD from you next. Maybe they will determine if your unborn should live or die before birth. Whom would you cry to then?
April 9, 2013 at 2:55 pm
No one is taking anything from you. Calm down, asshole!