The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

I’m a crazy bag lady

2 Comments

Yeah, so, my name is Sonia, and I am an overpacker.

I never considered my overwhelming need to overpack to be a problem. If I was willing to lug around a heavy suitcase because I think I need to pack everything in my home for a weekend getaway, that’s my problem.

However, it is a completely ridiculous problem. Before David and I moved in together, I would pack a massive suitcase for an overnight stay.

I would roll it into his apartment, and he would ask me about it, and it would basically turn into this:

But now, with the Spawn, I’m packing for two every time go somewhere, and it’s turning into a problem.

You’ve probably seen me out and about on the weekends. I’m the crazy red head with glasses carrying a huge diaper bag and a purse. Everywhere we go, I take up twice as much space as I should and I knock into everyone and everything, because I’m toting around these bags. I’m a crazy bag lady! I’m completely incapable of packing a diaper bag of a reasonable size. What if I need something? For example, I pack waaay too many diapers.

“Sonia, why are packing 12 diapers? We’re just going out for a few hours.”
Me: “What if we need them?”

image

I could pack Homer into the diaper bag and still have room for 12 diapers … not that I’ve tried …

I pack Cheerios. I pack Cheddar Bunnies. I pack a lunch. I pack a sippy cup. I pack two bottles of milk. (Side note: Don’t judge me! I know that at 17 months The Boy probably shouldn’t still be drinking from a bottle. If he wants it, he can have it. He will quit drinking it eventually. I doubt he will be 16 years old walking around drinking milk from a baby bottle … unless that’s what all the cool kids are doing, then he will totally be doing that.) I pack his toy car. I pack his stuffed goat. I pack diaper cream. I pack Aquaphor. I pack sunscreen.

“Sonia, why are you packing diaper cream? We’re just going for a walk.”
Me: “What if he gets diaper rash?”
“And the Aquaphor?”
Me: “He’s an itchy little guy. What if he needs it?”

It’s bananas. I’m bananas.

In so many ways, I’m a mellow person, and I think I’m a pretty easy-going mom. But, when it comes to packing a diaper bag, I freak out and overpack. I pack like we’re going into the wilderness where there are no stores, which is ridiculous because that’s camping, and, ew, camping.

goat

Thanks for packing my stuffed goat, Mom.

Oh, and here’s the best part: I will forget something!

I know, right?!

I will pack this ginormous diaper bag and, without fail, I will have not packed one thing that I really needed such as a blanket or a hat.

OK, what can I do? Is there a support group for me? Is there a TLC reality show about parents who overpack their diaper bags that I can watch? “Diaper Bag Wars” or something? If not, come on! Get on that TLC!

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Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/mocker/mother in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, talk smack, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

2 thoughts on “I’m a crazy bag lady

  1. I am the exact same way! When my daughter was a smaller baby, I used to pack everything EXCEPT burp cloths. And then she’d be drooling and puking everywhere, and my MIL would be like, “Do you have a burp cloth?” And I’d have to be all, “Oh, I, um…I’m an amateur.” An amateur with 2 different types of diaper cream, 37 diapers, and 4 changes of clothing.

    Oh, and the overnight bags? Don’t even get me started. Nothing says, “Hey, we’re going to have sex tonight!” like me showing up for a date with a suitcase.

  2. If you find a support group, let me know. I have the same problem. The husband bought me a Petunia Pickle Bottom diaper bag for mother’s day last year… and instead of getting the “Regular Size” he got me (as I requested) the larger one. The woman at the register asked if we have twins. Nooooo, we don’t. I just need to be prepared!

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