The Sonia Show

Warning: This show contains nerdy humor, cartoon violence and foul language.

Thanks to Facebook, I don’t need to go to my high school reunion

5 Comments

Yeah, so, my 25-year high school reunion is in September.

Yes, you read that correctly. I’m that old.

I went to my 10-year reunion. I’m not sure why. I wasn’t really looking to catch up with anyone or reconnect with old friends. Maybe I was hoping for a “Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion”-type adventure. Or maybe the curiosity factor was just too irresistible. I wanted to see if everyone looked older. Spoiler alert: They did.

I don’t remember a ton about that night because I drank a lot. I do remember that most of the women were really dressed up like they were going to the prom again, and I was basically dressed like Daria, with a long black skirt, chunky heels and my big, round glasses. I also remember that booze gave me the courage to go looking for my junior high/high school bully. I was going to slap him or say something really mean to him. He wasn’t there. I spent the rest of the evening on the dance floor, busting a move with a classmate named Brian that I never really talked to high school and haven’t talk to since. He was pretty cool.

I didn’t go to my 20-year high school reunion, even though it was being held in a hotel that was literally next door to my job at the time. I remembering telling a friend, “I’m not going. I just saw them 10 years ago.”

As you have probably already figured out, I didn’t have a ton of friends in high school.

I think this was freshman year, which means Michelle was probably in 6th grade.

Blond hair, pre-glasses: I think this was freshman year, which means my sister Michelle was in 6th grade. Take note of the popped collar, which made me look like the villain in every teenage 80s comedy.

highschoolsonia

My friends Monica, Julie, some dude that maybe Julie was into, and me: I think we were going to Santa Cruz for the day. FYI: I thought I looked fat in this photo. I probably weighed less than 120 pounds. Also, I would like to slap High School Sonia.

highschoolsonia2

Julie and I heading into some Senior Class dinner thing. I had Jessica Simpson hair before there was a Jessica Simpson.

In high school, I was shy, awkward and naive. I didn’t go to parties or participate in any crazy antics. I always seemed more immature than everyone else. Socially, I was way behind. On the first day of junior high, I showed up with a Pac-Man lunchbox, and I was practically laughed out of the school. In high school, all the other kids were getting part-time jobs and dating, and I was still carrying around a Trapper Keeper with kittens on it. I couldn’t work up the nerve to talk to a boy, let alone go on a date (I never had a date in high school – not once). I tried to get a job. I worked at a Subway for one day. ONE DAY! I was so shy I couldn’t even take customers orders. I ran out of the sandwich shop in tears after four hours, and I begged my parents not to make me go back. The few friends I did have would probably tell you that I was a funny person. I was like Michigan J. Frog. I would be hilarious around my friends, but when they introduced me to someone new I would completely clam up.

I have reconnected with the few high school friends I did have on Facebook, which means I really don’t need to go to the 25-year high school reunion. I can see how everyone is doing and what they have been up to without having to even talk to them and I can do it from the comfort of my own home. Thank you, Facebook! Facebook is totally worth giving up all my privacy and having custom ads in my face all the time. If the few high school friends I talk to on Facebook want to get together in person, that can be arranged. I don’t need a high school reunion to make that happen.

Another reason I’m not going to my high school reunion: It starts at 10 p.m. I know, right? I’m 42 years old. I don’t go to parties that start at 10 p.m. I’m in bed by 10 p.m. The reunion is being organized on Facebook. I RSVP’d “not going” and commented on the wall, “LOL 10 p.m.”

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Author: Sonia Mansfield

I'm a writer/mocker/mother in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, talk smack, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

5 thoughts on “Thanks to Facebook, I don’t need to go to my high school reunion

  1. you were adorbs. still are.

  2. I’d love to see you! I will message you to hopefully arrange a get together. Nice picture by the way

    • I would love to see you, too! The last time we made a date to get together I was super pregnant, and I couldn’t make it. Let’s rope Julie in, too, and finally make that date happen.

  3. I’D HIT IT.

    Yeah, I didn’t go to my 10 year. The horrible snobs I went to school with had it at a 4 star resort, at something like $50 a plate, not even including the CASH bar. But I saw a few pics on myspace and it looked like only assholes showed up anyway so I’m glad I didn’t spend money + airfare to go hang out with them.

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