The Sonia Show

Warning: This show contains nerdy humor, cartoon violence and foul language.

Hair apparent

7 Comments

Yeah, so, after months of putting it off, we finally took the Spawn to get a haircut.

Before.

Before.

After.

After.

I know what you are thinking, and no, neither the Spawn nor myself cried during the haircut. I thought for sure I would start sobbing, because pretty much everything makes me cry. Let me remind you that I’m the girl who cries during that Budweiser commercial about the guy who raises the horse to become a Clydesdale horse, and then he misses the horse and three years later he goes to the Clydesdale parade, and then the horse runs after him and they hug. NEVER FORGET!

I don’t think I had time to cry. It was kinda stressful. The Boy didn’t want to be at the hair cutting place (it feels wrong to call it a salon when it’s basically a Supercuts for kids.) He didn’t want to sit in the seats that were shaped like little cars, so he had to sit on David’s lap. Then he started squirming and whining, and the haircutter had to run around David and snip The Boy’s hair when she could. Considering that Calvin didn’t stop squirming, she did a pretty good job. Most little boys’ haircuts turn into what my good buddy Kate calls “the blond Moe” or a buzz cut.

The Three Stooges

For the uninformed, Moe is the one on the far left.

Calvin looks very handsome with his new haircut, and – sigh – he looks more like a little boy and less like a baby. *sobs*

The Boy could totally be a model and use all his modeling money to open the Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good, Too.

The Boy could totally be a model and use all his modeling money to open the Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good, Too.

So, yeah, I think cutting a little boy’s hair is much easier than little girls’ hair. The Boy’s hair is kind of a curly mop, so it won’t really show if it’s uneven in some spots. A little girl’s hair … it’s more styled. Ugh. How stressful. Parents of daughters: You have my sympathies.

Oh, and by the way, the haircut cost $18! What the what? That seems like a lot for a haircut for a toddler that isn’t even 2 years old yet, doesn’t it?

I’m not really looking forward to doing this again any time soon. I’m seriously thinking about buying a Flowbee.

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Author: Sonia Mansfield

I'm a writer/mocker/mother in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, talk smack, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

7 thoughts on “Hair apparent

  1. This post makes me happy because I still have not gotten Kenzie a proper haircut. I do it myself, or I pull it up into a ridiculous whale tail on top of her head. Have you tried whale spouts? They are totally 100% free.

  2. The Boy’s hair was turning into a thing. First of all, it was turning into a mullet, and he wasn’t rockin’ it ironically, which is against the law in San Francisco. Second, it was the first thing people said to us whenever we went somewhere: “Oh, someone needs a haircut.” And finally, he really hates it when I chase him around with the hairbrush in a lame attempt to brush his hair.

  3. That Flowbee video is so worthwhile. And better than Blond Moe.

  4. This is why I invested in a pair of clippers to give D a buzz cut at home every six months or so. Less trauma and money spent all around. But C does look super slick. =)

  5. My son has to be held in the chair, and he cries like he’s being made to eat Kale or go 10 minutes without his damn pacifier.

    And I want to cry too when he looks like a little boy and not a baby.

    • Alan, I am so stoked that Calvin never took the pacifier so I don’t have to go through that whole thing. BUT, of course, The Boy is almost 2, and he is still using a bottle at naps and bedtime, so I’ve got that going for me …

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