My son = outbreak monkey

April 14, 2014 by The Sonia Show 3 Comments

Yeah, so, I’m a little surprised. I wrote a blog post in which I used the term “ass play” and it didn’t get a million visits. Disappointing, you guys. I guess I don’t really know what you want at all. Ha! I’ll stick to writing about the kid.

As you know, the Spawn has been a boy of few words. Lots of babbling, few words. Long story short: The Boy couldn’t hear for about year, so he’s got some catching up to do. But, he started preschool full time in March, and a lot of folks told us that when he started preschool he would start using more words. I’m happy to report they were right. A month ago it was nothing but babbling with the occasional “NO” thrown in for good measure. There is still babbling, but there are words in the mix now, and even a few questions and sentences.

It’s awesome.

Apparently, there will come a day when I will want the kid to shut up and stop talking, and I look forward to that day. Right now, I can’t get enough of it. After more than two years of trying to anticipate needs and wants or just guessing what he is asking for, it’s nice to hear, “More cracker.”

So, that’s the upside of preschool. The downside? Germs.

Every toddler is an outbreak monkey. A preschool is an entire cage filled with little outbreak monkeys.

The Boy was just sick a few weeks ago. Now, he’s got a runny nose and little cough again. Plus, he infected me! You see, I’m not allowed to have a glass of water to myself. The kid drinks out of my glasses. I’m going to have to start drinking things he doesn’t like. Maybe whiskey.

Because I’m a thoughtful coworker, I kept my sick ass at home. I don’t want to be one of those people that drag their germs into the office infecting everyone. They shouldn’t have to suffer because my kid started preschool. Besides, I don’t need to drag myself into the office and pretend to work. I can do that from home.