Yeah, so, mighty, mighty good man David got inspired by my battle with knocker sickness and got creative. While I have been recovering by laying around on the couch and watching TV, he actually did something productive, artistic and clever.
Allow me to introduce you to Sonia the Cancer Warrior!
I am truly honored and flattered. I don’t even know what else to say.
Yeah, so, I laughed a lot during my fight with breast cancer. A lot.
I have always been the type of person who thinks nothing is above a joke. Everything is fair game. I usually try to find the humor in any situation. Also, I am very prone to inappropriate laughter. I think I inherited some sort of inappropriate humor gene from my father. He is all kinds of wrong. It’s just always been the way I deal with stressful, bad or sad situations. It’s my way. That’s how I roll.
Cancer didn’t change that.
Yeah, so, my hygiene has been very questionable since the surgery 11 days ago.
For the first couple of days, I couldn’t really do anything. I couldn’t even sit up. Getting off the couch or out of bed required mighty, mighty good man David’s help. Smelling nice or looking pretty was the least of my concerns. Plus, I have these drains after the surgery — a long tube running from my incision into this plastic bottle … draining … stuff. It’s gross. There were two drains; now there is one. The final drain has to drain under a certain amount in a 24-hour period before I can have it removed, and it is being stubborn. In the meantime, I am not allowed to shower.
Like I said, my hygiene has been questionable.
Yeah, so, I’m officially cancer free!
I had an appointment with my breast surgeon today. The Good Doctor was going to check out her handy work and re-wrap me. I had no idea the pathology report would be back. The final report showed that there was 1.3 cm of DCIS in the removed tissue, and that the removed lymph node was, in fact, negative for cancer! It has not spread. No chemo! No radiation! Fabulous news. My oncologist will recommend hormone therapy for me (it’s really anti-hormone therapy), but I don’t have to deal with that just yet. Still, this is awesome news!
The preliminary report said that the lymph node was negative for cancer, but there is always a chance that the full, more thorough report will say something different. It is such a huge relief! You could tell that the Good Doctor was really happy to be giving us such terrific news. David and I hugged and kissed in the exam room, we were so happy.
My sister, Michelle, was there as well. We both got a good look at the new boob. It’s really not that bad. Honestly, I thought it would be horrible; stitches everywhere; a Frankenboob. It’s not like that at all. Right now, my new left boob is a little smaller than the right one. It’s not that bad! A couple more trips to the doc to get her filled up, and she will look just fine. I will get a permanent implant probably right after the New Year.
I couldn’t imagine going through all of this alone. I couldn’t imagine going through this recovery process knowing the cancer has spread. I’m so lucky! So fuckin’ lucky!
Thank you to everyone for your good vibes, positive thoughts and prayers. They really paid off! I’m going to be OK! And big thanks to all my good buddies for their visits, calls, emails, texts, flowers, food delivery … everything!
And now, as my coworker Jennifer said, now I can move on to some “fun” stress … Time to plan a wedding!
Yeah, so, preliminary reports says I’m cancer free!
The Good Doctor did a sentinel node biopsy during the mastectomy, and it came back negative, which means the cancer has not spread. In other words, suck it, cancer! Of course, this is a preliminary report, and a more thorough official test is being done now, but the Good Doctor said we have every reason to be optimistic; that the preliminary tests are usually very accurate.
So, yeah, the recovery process has been more difficult than I thought. Basically, I can’t move without David’s help. He has been carrying me around. It would be romantic if it wasn’t so sick, sad and painful. It goes without saying but I’m not vicodin constantly.
The pain is manageable with the vicodin. I let the pain get ahead of me on Saturday, when the hospital was getting ready to discharge me and, well, it wasn’t pretty. Probably the first time since I found out I had cancer, I was truly emotionally wrecked. I tried to get out of bed, and the pain was unbearable, and it was all downhill from there. The tears were flowing and they wouldn’t stop. They had to give me more vicodin, and I had to lay down for 30 minutes to pull it together. David talked me through it. I’m sure he has never seen me like that. I couldn’t imagine going through all of this if the diagnosis had been positive for cancer. This painful surgery and still having cancer! No, thanks! Horrible!
Today is the first day that I can almost sit up kinda straight. I have these disgusting tubes running from my left breast that drain into these little plastic containers that mighty, mighty good man David empties. That’s love, people! He empties my drains and he doesn’t even flinch. He also spent the night in the hospital with me and has been practically carrying me from the bed, the couch and the bathroom since I got home on Saturday and fielding nonstop calls and emails. Where’s David’s Nobel Peace Prize!? I couldn’t get through this without him.
Good buddy Tiff organized a meals on wheels program for us, so we have had a steady stream of delicious food in this apartment. I’m starting to wish I was sick more often, the food is so good. Good buddy Kate watched Homer while we were in the hospital, and before I came home, she set up the couch for my arrival, including a wedding magazine! And, of course, we had fab visitors and lovely flowers.
I have been blown away by everyone’s kindness and willingness to help us out during this stressful time. Seriously, I wish I was Oprah, and I would buy everyone a brand new car and introduce everyone to all my favorite things. I am forever grateful.
The good news I won’t have to do all of this again. After this surgery, the followups are minor, outpatient procedures. The hard part was having cancer. The rest is easy!
Yeah, so, goodbye, Lefty. You’ve been a great breast friend, but I think it’s time we parted ways, because you’re killin’ me. Literally.
My mastectomy and reconstruction surgeries are first thing in the morning, so by this time tomorrow I will be missing my left boob as I currently know her. “Time for a little nip tick,” as mighty, mighty good man David says. He also likes to talk about me getting a job at Hooter or posing for Jug magazine.
We think cancer is hilarious in this apartment. Still, I’m a little bummed tonight. It’s sad to have a part of me removed. I looked in the mirror this morning when I got out of the shower and thought, “I wish I could save you, Lefty, but you have betrayed me. Now I have to cut you off and save myself.”
I feel like there’s still a little bit of good in her, but sadly, most of her is evil cancer, so the good part must be sacrificed. Sorry, Lefty, you have to take a hit for the team.
In honor of Lefty, today at work I was rockin’ my Crazy Sexy Cancer T-shirt.
Crazy sexy cancer, indeed
More than the surgery itself and the extended recovery process, I’m scared that I will wake up from the surgery tomorrow and the doctor will tell me that the cancer has spread; that more surgeries and chemo are in my future. I believe that will not happen. Even the doctors are optimistic that is not the case. Still, it lingers in the back of mind.
I know that when I wake up in the recovery room tomorrow I will immediately ask two things:
1) Can I have my glasses, please?
2) Did it spread?
I’m hoping the answers will be yes and no, in that order.
Once again, I am asking for your positive thoughts, your good vibes and your prayers! Also, just like last time, David will be Twittering throughout the day, updating followers with my progress, at Soniasboob.
Yeah, so … don’t judge me!
Gettin' snuggly in my Snuggie ...
Good buddy Tiff got me a pink Snuggie for my birthday, all the proceeds go to breast cancer research. So there!
I just heard that it’s going to rain all next week. That will make recovering on the couch so much easier for me. I won’t be feeling like I’m missing out on a beautiful sunny day. Now, I’m looking forward to chillin’ on the couch, watching movies or the DVR or reading magazines.
Yeah, so, it’s been a busy, wonderful birthday week.
It started off on Thursday night with the best damn dinner ever at Waterbar with the best damn man ever. The restaurant has an amazing view of the Bay Bridge. I know everyone loves the Golden Gate Bridge, but I’ve got hella love for the Bay Bridge. Good buddies Tiff, Sian and Karen arranged for complimentary champagne to be delivered to our table. Very sweet!
After dinner, David and I walked along the Embarcadero, which everyone knows is my favorite thing to do in San Francisco. It was one of those lovely nights in SF in which it’s not too cold and the sky is clear. Sitting down along the Embarcadero, taking in the view of the Bay and the bridge, David asked me to be his wife. With tears streaming down my face, I said, “You know I will!”
Best night of my life period.
So, yeah, on Friday night all of my awesome friends met at Goat Hill Pizza for dinner. Big thanks to Goat Hill Pizza for being so accommodating. Our table got bigger and bigger. I think we had 25 people there, and the staff never freaked out. They just kept adding tables and chairs.
The birthday gang at Goat Hill Pizza
After filling up on pizza and the delicious carrot cake from Baked (my favorite cake ever and leading wedding cake contender), we all headed to Mission Hill Saloon for many, many drinks. Michelle took over the jukebox and, strangely, Lionel Richie’s “All Night Long” got everyone dancing, even on the pool table (Amanda!).
All night long ... all night!
Drink up, ladies!
Thank you to everyone for being there! At one point during dinner, I looked at this massive table of my friends and family and I was positively overwhelmed. I got a little teary. I am so flattered that everyone came out for my birthday-turned-David and I’s engagement party. My friends and family mean everything to me. I always feel fortunate that I have such kick-ass people in my life. Despite the knocker sickness, I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. I am so lucky; truly, amazingly blessed.
Saturday, my fiancé (sorry, the novelty has not worn off) and I met up with Kate and her man Chris at the Pinball Expo in Marin. So fun! All the pinball you can possibly handle for $25? I’m in!
Oh, come on!
There were a ton of old-school pinball games there, but sadly no Batman and no Star Wars (two pinball games I was addicted to during my Chico Movies 10 days). Pinball Expo Fail! Maybe next year …
Sunday, David and I went to the final A’s game of the season. Thanks to my mom best buddy Jeannie, we had amazing seats; third row at third base. It was a beautiful day; not cold, not hot. We were sitting with celebrities …
Let's talk about the elephant in the room ...
After the game, we headed to The Big C for a birthday/engagement dinner. My mom went all out this time. Since I am not eating meat right now, my mom went online and got vegetarian recipes. She made halibut, pasta with roasted vegetables, a massive salad … and everything was organic, even the birthday cake! Really, she went above and beyond! It was amazing, and everyone had such a good time catching up. It had been a while since we had all been in the same place at the same time.
Thank you to everyone for your friendship and support and for helping me celebrate my birthday/engagement weekend!
Yeah, so, last night was the first time I had been really tempted to have some meat since swearing it off a few weeks ago.
David and I made a Target run last night to pick up some post-surgery recovery items: shirts that button in the front, comfy sweats, etc. The Target we like is in San Bruno, so after shopping, we went to Chili’s. Laugh if you want, but David and I love Chili’s. As far as chain restaurants go, you could do worse (ahem, Applebee’s, I’m talking about you).
So anyway, I ordered the black bean burger with a side of veggies, but David ordered — wait for it — chicken fried steak. Evil!
Drool! Drool!
It was the first time since becoming a quasi-vegetarian that I was really missing meat. I can’t imagine what it will be like when I return to Hard Knox Cafe.
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