All I want for Christmas is for Glenn Beck to get hit in the balls

Yeah, so, last night good buddy Kate, mighty, mighty good man David and I went to the movies.
There were six previews before the movie; two of which featured scenes of men getting hit in the crotch, a third preview was for the dreaded “Chipmunks” sequel, and a fourth one was for a Glenn Beck special [...]

Death or Chipmunks? Death, please.

Yeah, so, this is an actual conversation that David and I had tonight:
David: “I can’t decide which one I want to see more: ‘New Moon’ or ‘Chipmunks: The Squeakuel’.”
Me: “Right now, I can’t decide if I want to marry you.”
This conversation occurred because there was a commercial for that dreadful “Chipmunks” movies on TV. Seriously, [...]

This film is not rated due to graphic laziness

Yeah, so, I watched the latest trailer for James Cameron’s “Avatar.” I am not pleased.
A character in the movie actually utters the line, “You are not in Kansas anymore.” Ugh. It’s so disgustingly lazy. When a character says that line, they might as well be saying, “Our screenwriter gave up on this movie, but [...]

So much TV, so little time

Yeah, so, I’m suffering from DVR guilt.
Thanks to the new fall TV season starting this week, our DVR has been working overtime, but I haven’t had time to sit down and watch everything. This makes me feel strangely guilty and a little stressed out.
I know it’s weird, and I know I’m going to have time [...]

Nobody puts Patrick Swayze in a corner

Yeah, so, Patrick Swayze died yesterday after a noble battle with pancreatic cancer.
Now, I know that everyone will be re-watching “Dirty Dancing,” “Ghost” or “Point Break” or maybe even “Red Dawn” or “Road House” in his honor, but this is my favorite Patrick Swayze moment:

Thank you to Heidi for finding the video and posting it [...]

Open Letter to the Kardashians

Dear Kardashian Family:
I was just wondering … why are you famous again? Why do I keep seeing your name in the headlines? What have you done? Did you invent something? Make a great movie? Write a terrific book? Anything?
From what I have gathered, one of you made a sex tape and the rest of you [...]

‘Alien’ prequel? Game over, man!

Yeah, so, I’m a little concerned that director Ridley Scott is planning to make an “Alien” prequel.
Anyone who knows me knows that “Aliens” is one of my all-time favorite movies. Basically, I think it’s just about perfect: Very exciting action scenes, villains that are horrifying, funny dialogue and characters you care about. Damn, I wish [...]

Emmy Nomination Fail!

Yeah, so, Emmy voters are lazy. How else do you explain Tony Shaloub being nominated for “Monk” … again? I think they nominate him every year out of habit. Hey, at least they didn’t nominate “Boston Legal” for Best Drama again, those dopes.
I don’t watch nearly as much TV as I used to, but here [...]

Shut up, Gwyneth!

Yeah, so, I’ve grown to hate Gwyneth Paltrow. Every time I read an interview with her I have to fight an overwhelming urge to poke out my own eyes.
She’s always talking about how “crazy” her life is being married to a rock star and raising two kids. Hey, Gwyneth! Try being married with kids and [...]

Death of a TV Critic

Yeah, so, Tom Shales of The Washington Post says that we need more TV critics. As a former TV critic, I agree … sort of. I think we need more TV critics, but we need less grumpy, old white male TV critics.
There, I said it.
I think TV critics are just as important as movie [...]