The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

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Hey, thanks, you guys

Yeah, so, I have a lot to be thankful for this year.

I mean, I think I’m pretty thankful all year round, but I’m going to be extra thankful this season.

Last year during the holiday season our mighty, mighty good boy Calvin was diagnosed with autism. Two weeks later (the day after Christmas) I was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer (which turned out to be stage 3, which lead to chemo). We were overwhelmed by Calvin’s diagnosis, and my cancer was just hanging over us like a shitty black cloud. It kinda sucked.

This year, Calvin is doing really great. He’s hitting all his milestones in speech and behavior. He’s been working really hard, and it shows. He is so awesome. And I had my mastectomy, finished chemo and cancer free. Let’s dance!



This holiday season is going to be rad! I am so thankful for all my family and friends. I’m thankful for you guys, too, my tens of readers. Thank you for reading this silly blog, and thank you for all your support throughout the years, but especially this past year. It means a lot to me.


OK, enough with the mushy stuff. I’ll be back to posting assy shit soon. If you can’t wait for assy shit, check out my Twitter, where I will be tweeting out the awesome stuff mighty, mighty good man David says while watching the Thanksgiving Day Parade. It’s THE. BEST.


It’s Another Blog Post About Being Vegan, Charlie Brown

Yeah, so, it turns out the hardest part of going vegan isn’t the not eating meat or dairy part. For me, the hardest part of going vegan has been dealing with my fear of the shit I’m going to get from people when I tell them I’m vegan.

This, of course, is ridiculous. Who cares what I eat, right? But, it’s my nightmare to be high maintenance, and I don’t want to come across to people as a high maintenance pain in the ass about food. It’s also my nightmare that I will get cancer again … or that a big, hairy spider will even look at me. Seriously. Eww.

In the past I’ve cringed when I’ve told people, almost like I’m embarrassed that I’m vegan. But now, I’m feeling more confident about my decision, and I’m totally over feeling like I need to apologize for it. And, just in time for the holidays, too. Wheeee!

So, since starting the vegan diet back in July I’ve encountered three different types of responses when I tell people.

#1: They get it.

Most friends and family are fine with it. They get it. I’ve had cancer twice, and the doctor is recommending a vegan diet, so I should go on a vegan diet. It’s the smart thing to do.

#2: They want me to confess that being a vegan sucks.

Every once in a while someone wants me to admit that the diet is difficult, and they want me to admit to that I secretly eat meat or dairy on occasion. I don’t know if it’s because they want to feel better about what they are eating or what. The truth is I feel great. I’m really enjoying it, and it’s helping me eat healthier than I ever have before. I have even discovered the joy of vegan. Check out my Instagram to see for yourself.

The vegan diet hasn’t been as difficult as I thought, and I don’t secretly eat meat or dairy. I might accidentally eat meat or dairy, because sometimes food has secret meat or dairy, and I’m still learning what I can and can’t eat. I’m doing the best I can. And yeah, if I really just had to have something like ice cream I would, or if I was at a fancy dinner such as a work holiday party and they had no vegan options for me, I’d go vegetarian and do the very best I could, because I don’t want to be a dick about it.

And speaking of being a dick, that brings me to the third type of response I encounter …

#3: They think vegans are idiots, and therefore I’m an idiot.

This person thinks vegans are morons; this person is also known as my dad.

This is pretty much the reaction I expected from The Man, though. I’m not surprised. I mean, look at his room filled with dead animals.


Are you shocked that the person who killed all these animals isn’t cool with the idea of his daughter being a vegan? Other things my dad isn’t cool with: 1) Obama; 2) Gun control; 3) Animated TV shows.

Even though I’ve been vegan for about five months, my dad didn’t know or didn’t care to know. I’m not sure which. Last week, I was having dinner with my parents, my sister and my nieces Lorelei and Lucy. After dinner, Lorelei asked me something about how my vegan diet was going, and before I could respond my dad chimed in.

Dad: “Vegans are weirdos.”
Me: “OK then.”
Dad: “It’s just stupid. We’re humans. We’re carnivores.”

[Lorelei pushes her glasses up her nose]

Lorelei: “Actually, we’re omnivores, Grandpa.”



Me: “Haaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahhaha!”
Lorelei: “I don’t think vegans are stupid. Asa [she has always referred to me Asa – a combination of Aunt Sonia] is a vegan, and she’s not stupid.”

I know, right? Lorelei is fuckin’ rad.

Me: “It’s fine, Lorelei. Grandpa can think whatever he wants. The truth is I feel great. Dad, I don’t care what you eat. I care what I eat. My vegan diet has no effect on you at all. If anything, now there’s more meat and dairy for you. You’re welcome.”

Of course, his reaction is ridiculous. It’s not like I sit at the family dinner table with an empty plate in front of me and bitch that there’s nothing being served that I can eat. I also don’t cry at the table about how they are eating an adorable animal or how I think eating meat is unhealthy or whatever. I make myself a plate of what I can eat, and I eat it without drawing attention to myself, because I don’t want people to watch me eat anyway. That’s weird. There’s no judgement from me whatsoever, but unfortunately, my dad doesn’t want to extend me the same courtesy.

Thanksgiving is going to be fun.


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The Notorious OBB Strikes Again

Yeah, so, the Notorious OBB is at it again.

Office Busybody and I have been working in the same office for more than 6 years. So, for more than 6 years I’ve been dealing with her obsessions with my lunches and my restroom habits. She’s just two cubes down from me. I think she heard me explaining what I do to a visitor from our corporate office, which resulted in the following conversation.

OBB: “You’re a writer, Sonia? Is that what you do here?”
Me: “Yes. I manage our blog and Ideas & Inspiration section. I manage our social media, and write all our emails. That’s what I’ve been doing in this cube for the six years we’ve been working together.”
OBB: “Oh, I didn’t know you were a writer, Sonia.”


This explains why last week she was asking me about our benefits enrollment to which I responded, “I’m not HR. Go ask HR.”

I thought about asking her what she does in the office, just to fuck with her. I know damn well what she does, because she is super loud and everyone in the office can hear her all the time.


The Seven-Year Itch

Yeah, so, I can’t believe it’s been seven years since I went on my last-ever first date.





Happy dating anniversary to my mighty, mighty good man David!

I don’t even know what else to say. He’s my favorite person. He’s the best husband, father and friend a girl can ask for. I’m fuckin’ stoked that he agreed to be introduced to me seven years ago by a mutual friend. I can’t imagine what my life would be like without him. I’m sure it would really suck. I’m sure Calvin can’t image what his life would be like without David, because Calvin wouldn’t exist. I wouldn’t have agreed to have a baby with anyone else, so you’re welcome, world!


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Old Movies, New Beer: The Haunting, The Curse Of The Cat People and Firestone Walker’s Helldorado

Yeah, so, mighty, mighty good man David and I got drunk and talked about old movies again.

This time, we talked about “The Haunting” and “The Curse Of The Cat People” while sipping on Firestone Walker’s Helldorado, which is so good, you guys. It’s got a high alcohol content: 13.2%. Wheeee!


You can hear our sexy voices riiiight here. You can download our podcast in the iTunes store, too.


Coming to a theater near you

Yeah, so, The Kid went to the movie theater for the first time.

I went to the movies all the time when I was a teenager, and I worked in movie theaters for more than 8 years. I love going to the movies. I was really nervous and excited about taking Calvin to see his first movie.

Taking a 4-year-old to the movies is tricky even for a typically developed 4-year-old, so we were unsure of how it would go with our boy. We mentally prepared ourselves, telling ourselves that if he didn’t like it we would be leaving early. And once we accepted that idea the whole trip becomes a lot less worrisome.

It turns out we didn’t need to worry at all. Calvin did awesome at the movie theater. We took him to see the new “Peanuts” movie, which is filled with characters that he already knows and loves. We sat down in the theater and set him up with a big bag of popcorn and his cup of water, and he was already in heaven, because popcorn!


For a quarter more, you can get the large popcorn, Calvin.

Then the previews started … Ugh. Kids movies are kinda awful, huh? There were previews for another “Chipmunks” movie. Ewww. A preview for an “Angry Birds” movie that made me wonder when the “Candy Crush” movie was coming out. And a bunch of other kid movies filled with violence and fart jokes. Will we be taking Calvin to see those movies?


To be fair, Calvin did laugh out loud at the preview of “The Secret Life of Pets,” specifically the scene in which a wiener dog uses a mixer to scratch his back. OK, fine, I laughed out loud, too. I’m not made of stone, people.


All the previews were crazy loud, and Calvin did look a little concerned during the “Ice Age” cartoon short before the movie, as did I, because it was really dumb, and I was wondering who thought this was funny. It’s very concerning.

Anyway, once the movie started, all was well. Calvin really enjoyed the movie. He got really excited whenever Snoopy showed up. He got a little restless near the end of the movie, but all the kids were restless by the end, and he stayed in his seat. He was dancing in his seat during the end credits when they show the characters dancing. It was darn cute.


Throughout the movie, whenever Snoopy got this look in his eyes, I laughed really, really hard. I have no explanation other than I think it’s really funny. Also, I’m kinda lame.

Mighty, mighty good man David is a big fan of the “Peanuts” comic strip, and he liked the movie, too. It definitely keeps the spirit of the TV specials that I remember. I’m so glad it was Calvin’s first movie-going experience. The movie is very sweet. There’s no violence, fart jokes or scary villains. All in all, it’s a pretty mellow movie.

We went back to the theater the following week to see the movie again with his school friends Avery and Adeline at a sensory screening. A sensory screening is when they show the movie, but the lights are only dimmed and the volume is turned down just a bit so people with sensory disorders can enjoy the movie. Calvin did fine during a regular screening, but – out of curiosity – we wanted to check it out. It’s such a great idea, and I’m so glad that they do something like this for people with sensory issues. It’s also a great way to see a movie with a young child – not just a child with autism, but any young child. Kids are free to talk and move around if they need to. It’s not dark and loud, so it’s not so scary for them. It’s very casual, and it felt like there was less worry about behaving. If you have a young child and you’re hesitant to bring them to a movie, this is a great way to introduce them to seeing movies in the theater. We will definitely go back, so Calvin can see “Mockingjay Part 2” on the big screen. He’s really into “The Hunger Games.” I kid. We will end up seeing “The Good Dinosaur” but definitely not any of the “Chipmunk” movies. Those movies can fuck off.


Public Enemy is right, you guys. 911 is a joke.

Yeah, so, last night I called 911 twice, because there was a strange man on my patio. It took the San Francisco Police Department 90 minutes to show up.


When you call 911 you kinda expect the police to show up right away, don’t you? Mighty, mighty good man David travels for work once a month. I don’t sleep super awesome when he is away. Every little sound at night gives me the creeps, but I was able to go to sleep knowing that if someone tried to break in I could call 911 and the SFPD would come. Well, that peace of mind is pretty much ruined for me. Now I’m not so sure that the police will come if I call 911. This is disturbing and upsetting. Public Enemy is right, you guys. 911 IS a joke.


Why didn’t the police come right away? I understand that the police are busy, but 911 is for emergencies, right? I wasn’t calling because I want the police to come over and watch cartoons with me. I’m calling because it’s an emergency. When I called the second time, the 911 operator told me to make sure my doors were locked and to call 911 again if anything happened. In other words, “Hey, if the situation gets even worse, call again so we can not respond again.”

Something is happening. That’s why I’m calling 911!

Ugh. Goodbye, sleep.

I’ll start at the beginning. Here’s what happened.

Continue reading

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Season of the stitch

Yeah, so, I got my stitches out this week. Let the healing begin!


The incisions on the knockers will take a while to heal up, but so far I’m really pleased. It’s nice to have an even pair of knockers again. I haven’t had that in like five years. The incision where the port was is healing up nicely. It won’t be long before it’s not that noticeable anymore. See for yourself.


You can see the scar, and you can see my new darker ‘do. Also, yeah, I’m in my cube at work. Sooo luxurious, right? Stay in school, kids, and one day you can have an awesome cube of your own like this.

Honestly, scars are not that big of deal to me. Maybe because my scars have never been really awful. In 1997 I had my thyroid removed, and I had a scar right at the base of my neck. It looked like someone tried to cut my head off and got bored and quit. I was never self conscious about the scar. I looked at it like a conversion starter.

Someone: “What’s up with your neck?”
Me: “I got into a knife fight with someone who looked just like you.”

The port scar ain’t no thang. And, of course, only David will be seeing the scars on my boobs, unless some magazine wants to pay me millions for a nude photo spread. OK, it doesn’t have to be millions – enough for a down payment on a house is acceptable. It doesn’t even have to be a house in San Francisco. I’ll settle for Oakland. OK, fine, Concord. But that’s my final offer.

So anyway, if you follow me on Instagram, you know I’ve been doing a lot of cooking lately. Pretty much since my mastectomy in January, I’ve been eating food prepared by others, including family, friends and delivery. When I’ve cooked it’s been really half-assed. “I warmed up soup for you guys.” “I steamed some broccoli. You’re welcome.”

Now that chemo is finished, and my energy level is back to normal, I really have no excuse for being a lazy asshole in the kitchen. (I have a ton of excuses for being a lazy asshole at work.) So I have decided to start trying to cook more often. Last week, I made vegan chili and corn bread, and it turned out really well, if I don’t say so myself. I didn’t take a photo of it, which means you probably think it didn’t happen, but I swear it happened.

I have several vegan cookbooks, but I have been very inspired by “Thug Kitchen” and “Thug Kitchen: Party Grub.” Spoiler alert! Thug Kitchen is vegan. I didn’t notice until a few weeks ago, because I’m a clueless jackass. I bought the books, and they are filled with great recipes. They make cooking sound easy and fun, and I guess that works on me. Also, swearing. I like swearing. That shit works for me.

I made deviled chickpea bites and tortilla soup based on their recipes, and they both turned out really tasty.


Deviled chickpea bites. A while back I wanted to make deviled eggs my go-to dish for parties. But then I had a kid who is allergic to eggs, and now I’m a high-maintenance vegan, so deviled eggs are not going to ever be my go-to dish. This is a worthy substitute.


Tortilla soup. I made it in a pot, but then dumped it into the slow cooker. It made the house smell crazy good, and it made me forget just for a little while that the house is mess with toys everywhere.

What I’m trying to say is, I’m practically a gourmet chef now, you guys. Soon, I will be more than a gourmet chef. I’ll be brand, and you will be forced to sign up for my monthly newsletter, GOOB, to hear about what I’m cooking, what beer I’m drinking, what I’m watching and what dresses I’m buying, and you will long for the good ol’ days of my WordPress blog.

In the meantime, enjoy this video of me dancing with a toy wiener dog in the aisle of a Kmart, but I’m fuckin’ classy as hell.

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Old Movies, New Beer is back, you guys

Yeah, so, mighty, mighty good man David and I are getting drunk and talking about old movies again.

Our podcast Old Movies, New Beer has returned after a chemotherapy-induced hiatus. In this installment we are discussing all three versions of “The Maltese Falcon” while drinking Bigfoot Barleywine aged in whiskey barrels from Sierra Nevada.


If you have never listened to our podcast before, well, this is your chance to hear David say smart, insightful things about movies while I interrupt him with my unfinished thoughts that go nowhere. I’d love to hear what you guys think, and we take requests, so please feel free to comment.

Visit to hear the podcast, or you can listen to us on iTunes. You can like on Facebook or follow us on Twitter, too.

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Pillow talk

Yeah, so, you guys want to talk about chemotherapy?

Me neither. Let’s talk about one of the side effects of chemotherapy. That’s fun.

So, one of the side effects of chemo is it put me in menopause. Wheeee! It’s not my favorite thing, but in terms of ongoing side effects, it’s livable. I mean, menopause was going to happen anyway, so big deal.


I can handle menopause. Not getting my period anymore is kinda awesome, am I right, fellas? The biggest downside of menopause so far is the hot flashes. Hot flashes suck — especially in the middle of the night. Hot flashes in the middle of the night = waking up, and I hate waking up.

In order to keep the hot flashes to a minimum (or at least make it easier to go back to sleep after having one) I’m all about making the bedroom temp pretty chill, which sucks for mighty, mighty good man David, but he can throw an extra blanket on his side of the bed and be fine. The other thing I do is wake up hot and then flip the pillow to the cool side. Wake up hot, flip the pillow, repeat.

Well, I was flipping the pillow until I bought a new pillow. Not just any new pillow, you guys — a fancy $80 pillow (on sale for $40, because spending $80 would be ridiculous). It’s a memory foam pillow and it has some sort of gel thing that keeps it cool. Basically, it’s a chilled pillow or a “chillow” (I’m not clever enough to come up with that name; that was all good buddy Kate).

If you told 20-something Sonia that 40-something Sonia would spend $40 on a goddamn $80 pillow she would laugh in your face, toss back her tequila shot, write a bad check to pay for her drinks and pass out. Man, 20-something Sonia was fuckin’ rad.

So, yeah, I’m the kind of person that buys at $40 pillow now. Actually, I’m the kind of person who buys a $40 a pillow and then blogs about it.



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