The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.


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Pop Show Podcast: Smith Mansplains It All

Yeah, so, in this week’s Pop Show podcast, Smith mansplains PMS to me as well as how robots have sex.

I listened to this podcast in my car this morning, and I laughed so hard at Smith’s mansplaining that I almost crashed. If only I had a self-driving car …

Other things discussed in this podcast:

  • Self-driving cars
  • Why Anthony is a weirdo for carrying cash around
  • The new Barbies, and the lack of new Kens

Also, I do my impression of a drunk dolphin and talk about my thoughts and feelings about “Grease Live.”

You can listen to the podcast riiight here, and you can find us on iTunes riiight here.

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Same song

Yeah, so, mighty, mighty good boy Calvin really loves two songs off the “Cars” soundtrack, which means we’ve been listening to them in nonstop rotation for a few weeks now. It’s OK to be jealous.

OK, let’s backtrack a little. A few months ago, Calvin’s favorite song was “Better When I’m Dancing” from “Peanuts.”

We listened to it a lot. Now, his favorites are “Real Gone” by Sheryl Crow and “Life Is A Highway” by Rascal Flatts. I know, right? Sigh.

Every time we’re in the car with him he asks for it. He refers to the songs not by their titles, but by “Car Dance” and “Truck Dance,” respectively. We could say no, but who can say no to that face? Come on. I’m not made of stone, people.

handsome-hat

Plus, he tries to sing along, which is awesome for an autistic boy who is working on his verbal skills, and he dances in his seat, which is just plain adorable.

This means we’re listening to the same two songs repeatedly. It’s not much different than watching the same movie or TV show over and over, which we also do – which all parents do.

Helpful tip for people without kids: Looking for a conversation topic for your friends with kids? Asking them about what show and/or movie their kids are watching. You’ll be amazed. Listen to your friends talk at length about the politics of “Thomas The Tank Engine” or the psychological issues of The Man With The Yellow Hat from “Curious George.” You’re welcome.

So anyway, we’ve listened to the same two songs so much that it’s gotten to the point where we measure time by the songs.

“How long did it take you to get to school?”

“About two Life Is A Highways.”

“Traffic was awful. It took us 10 Real Gones to get there.”

I can finally relate to all the parents who were complaining nonstop about “Let It Go” from “Frozen.” I get it now, you guys.


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Pop Show Podcast #9: X-Files, Fuller House and more

Yeah, so, on this week’s Pop Show, we are really all over the place. It’s rad. It might be my favorite one yet.

Things you will learn if you listen to this podcast:

  • A baby army would be adorable
  • Anthony loves “Dance Moms”
  • Ryan discovered a time travel feature on his Apple Watch and he might become his own grandpa
  • I don’t understand why everyone loves of “Full House”
  • We will always say we’re going to talk about football, but we never will
  • We’re all happy to have new “The X-Files” episodes, but …

Listen to all our thoughts and feelings on Assignment X or check us out on iTunes.

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Manic pixie cut dream girl

Yeah, so, for the first time in almost a year I got a haircut. Wheeee!

new-do

What do you guys think? It’s pretty OK, right?

My hair started falling out a few weeks after the first chemo treatment last year in March. It started growing back when I started Taxol in July. Since then it’s been growing at a pretty good rate. Obviously, I would like it to grow faster, but I can’t really complain — that would be selfish.

So, my hair hasn’t really had a style for a while. It was just my chemo hair. But, in the last month, it really started to turn into a mullet. There was a curly-fro party in the back, but barely any business in the front. I didn’t like it. It was the opposite of cute.

I’m pleased with the new haircut. I’ve got hair goals now. I’m going to keep it short in the back, while the front grows out. I’m kinda aiming for a Ginnifer Goodwin thing.

Ginnifer-Goodwin

The plan has been to get my hair back to its pre-chemo look, but I must admit that I do really like pixie cuts. They are super cute. I think when the front gets a little longer and I can play with it, I might really like it. I’m not ruling out keeping it in a pixie cut. It might be fun.

So anyway, even though this hair style is the shortest I’ve ever worn it, I somehow managed to spend $75 on hair products. I don’t know how I managed that. Anyway, I’m pretty excited about my new ‘do. It’s just another little thing that makes me feel like myself again.


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6 More Things I’m Loving Right Now

Yeah, so, let’s keep the positivity train rolling. Here are six things I’m lovin’ this week.

Rail Hot Spots: A True Train Watching Experience

Speaking of trains, mighty, mighty good boy Calvin loves trains. He loses his mind for them. He loves them so much he actually enjoys riding BART. He watches “Thomas & Friends” and “Chuggington” – all the train staples for kids.

The other day, he asked mighty, mighty good man David if he could watch something with trains, so David did a search on Amazon Prime and found “Rail Hot Spots.” It’s an hour and 15 minutes of nothing but trains. There’s no voice over, no music – just real footage of trains chugging by. It’s kinda awesome and relaxing.

The other night, Calvin asked if he could watch it on his iPad in bed. Twenty minutes later, he was asleep. I’m debating watching it before bed, too. I’d like to fall asleep 20 minutes after climbing into bed. I’ll give it a try and report back.

Shirley MacLaine’s hair in “The Apartment”

Have you seen 1960’s “The Apartment” starring Jack Lemon and Shirley MacLaine? If you haven’t, watch it right now. I’ll wait right here.

There. Aren’t you glad you saw it? It’s so great. I was watching it the other night again on TCM, and I was coveting Shirley MacLaine’s hair.

shirleymaclaine-hair

Shirley MacLaine is THE CUTEST in “The Apartment.”

I think it’s my new hair goal. I just need my hangs to grow out. Grow, hair, GROW!

Cacao Tea

I received this Tisano cacao tea as a gift, and it’s so tasty. It’s got a nice chocolate taste, but it’s not too sweet. Plus, it’s not bad for me – no fat, no calories. There’s caffeine so I don’t drink it at night, but it’s a perfect afternoon delight. Hee hee. I said, “afternoon delight.”

Angie Tribeca

We’ve been watching this TBS comedy On Demand with no commercials. It’s a great way to spend 21 minutes. It’s a spoof of cop shows such as “Law & Order: SVU” and all the “CSI” shows. I’ve read a few reviews that compare it to “The Naked Gun” and its sitcom origin, “Police Squad.” The comparison is spot on. It also reminds me of the TV series “Sledgehammer.”

It’s really funny, and the short running time makes it a big hit in this house. Sometimes, we just want to watch a little something. We don’t want to devote an hour for a show or longer for a movie. Plus, it’s mindless and light. When we are done watching it we’re not pissed off about something (a common problem with shows like “Last Week Tonight” or “The Daily Show”) or depressed (pretty much every one-hour drama).

This Photo

photo

I was going through some boxes over the weekend and found this photo. It’s amazing, right? I’m on the far left. Check out my fabulous cleavage. That’s back when my boob and I were still friends, before they tried to kill me.

Anyway, I posted this on Facebook over the weekend, and I had some explaining to do. This photo was taken in 2002-2003 (I think) at the Excalibur Hotel in Las Vegas. We were in Las Vegas for good buddy Micaela’s bachelorette party, and I believe we were all more than a little drunk when this photo was taken. Duh.

2015 Eclipse by Fifty Fifty Brewing

It’s so good, you guys. We have been big fans of this beer for years. No doubt the Eclipse will be making an appearance on our podcast, Old Movies, New Beer. The other night we opened the 2015 Eclipse Woodford Reserve (with the blue wax top). It’s pricey – about $30 a bottle, but it’s worth it.

It’s simply the best.


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When being negative is a positive

Yeah, so, let’s start this blog post with the ending: I had a biopsy, and the results came back negative.

Dude! I’m fuckin’ stoked! For once, I found something on my body, reported it to Kaiser, had it tested and the test came back negative. It’s everything I dreamed it would be. Let’s dance!

OK, now, let’s go back to the beginning. Remember when I wrote about my panic attacks? Well, the thing that started making panic attacks a regular occurrence in my life was a spot on found on my back. It was removed and tested positive for abnormal cells. Remember that?

Well, last week I had to get a minor procedure in which they remove a little bit more of the skin around where that spot was. In other words, the doctor removed a chunk of my back and replaced it with about three inches of stitches. Now I have a Franken-back to go with my Franken-boobs.

jealous

Undergoing this kind of procedure is pretty minor compared to all the other surgeries I’ve had. It involved numbing my back and then they cut out a section. Still, I was kinda nervous, so I did my nervous talking thing that I always do, which the nurses and doctors seem to really enjoy. They always tell me how nice I am.

I ask how the day is going. I ask if they have any pets. I love to hear about people’s pets. The doctor was playing music during the procedure. I asked about that. It was the Counting Crows first album. Now I will never hear “Mr. Jones” again without thinking of the time I could smell my own skin burning when the doctor was cauterizing the skin before starting the stitches. Gross, right? I know … Counting Crows. Ugh.

Anyway, I like I said, I talk a lot during appointments because I’m so nervous, and the medical staff thinks it’s great. In fact, this time, when the nurse went to retrieve mighty, mighty good man David from the waiting room she told him, “Your wife has a wonderful disposition. She’s really nice.”

This makes me wonder — how awful are people being to nurses and doctors? I wouldn’t say I’m being overly nice. It’s not like I’m walking into these exam rooms and handing out cash and telling everyone how skinny they look. I’m just being nice, friendly and chatty. Are other people walking into these exam rooms and acting like such huge assholes that when someone is just friendly and polite the nurses and doctors think it’s amazing?

I mean, maybe my personality is so delightful that nurses and doctors can’t help but comment on it. (#humblebrag) But more likely, other patients are not so friendly that it makes even the most polite conversation seem above and beyond.

So my point is this: Keep up the good work, you guys. You are making me look awesome for doing the bare minimum, and that’s one of my favorite things.

 


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The Pop Show #8: Oscar nominations and Oscar The Grouch

Yeah, so, I have all kinds of thoughts and feelings about this year’s Oscar nominations, and we discuss them on this week’s Pop Show podcast.

We also talk about “Sesame Street” airing on HBO and the death of David Bowie. I think we even talk about the price of printer ink, so we’re kinda all over the place … as usual.

You can listen to the podcast riiiight here, or check us out on iTunes.

 

 

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6 Things I Love Right Now

Yeah, so, things have been kinda depressing lately, with David Bowie and Alan Rickman dying … which reminds me: Hey cancer, fuck you! Anyway, I’m all about being positive and shit now, let’s talk about six things I’m loving right now.

Fleece Tights

I bought these awesome fleece tights from Target. It’s been super cold in San Francisco right now. I’ll pause right here to let those of you who deal with real cold – you know with snow and stuff – laugh. Let me know when you are finished.

severeweather

No, but seriously you guys, it’s been so cold that I’ve had to wear socks. It’s ridiculous. I like to wear dresses all the time, so these fleece tights are my new favorite thing. I can still be super cute and warm. I bought them in gray and black, and they are the best.

Soup Weather

Speaking of cold weather, that’s the perfect time to make soup. I’ve made nothing but soup for the past week, and you know what? They’ve all turned out pretty good.

I made a vegetable noodle soup with ginger miso broth and potato leek soup (both from “Thug Kitchen” – the best cookbook ever), chestnut soup (from Will Cook For Friends) and spicy black bean soup from a recipe in VegNews magazine (yeah, I subscribe to a vegan magazine, so what!)

soup

The vegetable noodle soup didn’t turn out as good as I would have liked, but it was still fine. I think I need to try making it again. I don’t always expect to nail a new dish the first time I make it. That said, the three other soups were de-fuckin-licious. I’m basically a gourmet chef now, you guys. Look for me on the next season of “Top Chef.” I’ll be the contestant that starts flipping through a cookbook at the start of every challenge and cuts her finger every time she uses a knife.

My Almost Pixie Cut

OK, so, I wouldn’t say I’m really loving my almost pixie cut … I mean, I really miss my old hair. BUT, I will say this for my almost pixie cut, it takes almost no time to get ready to get out, and that’s kinda rad.

hairfront

All business in the front.

hair-back

Party in the back. I actually need a haircut, you guys! And a dye job. Ugh, gray.

‘Cars’

Remember when kids were obsessed with “Frozen?” Well, that’s mighty, mighty good boy Calvin now, but with “Cars.”

Is “Cars” the best Pixar movie? Absolutely not. I think “The Incredibles” (or any of the “Toy Story” movies) takes that title. But I’ve been watching it a lot lately, and it’s really cute. I know it came out in 2006, but I had never seen it. But now, as a mother of a 4-year-old boy, I’m watching it on repeat. I’m still not tired of it. Trust me, there are other things that are way more annoying for your kid to watch than a Pixar movie. For example, have you watched five minutes of “Bob The Builder?” Ugh. The voices are annoying, and there’s a scarecrow or something with a weird pumpkinhead running around causing problems … WTF is that show about?! Wait, sorry, we’re keeping it positive, right?

Back to “Cars,” I’m almost ashamed to admit how many times I’ve laughed at Mater.

cars

I know. I’m the worst. I think Larry the Cable Guy, who does the voice, is really unfunny, but for some reason, I think Mater is really funny. I kinda hate myself right now. Don’t worry, though. I will be punished. I hear that “Cars 2” is not very good, and I’m sure Calvin will be all about watching it soon.

Firestone Walker Agrestic

I will never get tired of drinking Agrestic by Firestone Walker. It’s just a little sour, not too sour. Even mighty, mighty good man David will drink it.

agrestic

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The Pop Show #7: Star Wars Merchandise and The Golden Globes

Yeah, so, I stayed up past my bedtime to talk about “The Force Awakens” merchandise and The Golden Globes on The Pop Show podcast. Inappropriateness ensued.

As a “Star Wars” fan, even I am getting burned out on all the “Star Wars” tie ins. I’m pretty sure I saw “Star Wars” tampons for the Dark Side of the month.

As for the Golden Globes, well, I don’t get annoyed about stuff like that anymore. But I will say that “Fargo” is the best thing on TV, so I refuse to believe that Lady Gaga from “American Horror Story: Hotel” gave a better performance than Kirsten Dunst in “Fargo.” It reminds me of when Madonna won for “Evita” over France McDormand in “Fargo” back in 1997. Maybe the Hollywood Foreign Press doesn’t get “Fargo.” Ugh. Stay golden, Golden Globes.

So anyway, you can listen to the podcast riiight here, or click the image below to listen on iTunes.

 

popshowI might be appearing on this podcast in a somewhat regular fashion, so you should subscribe to it. I’m sure you don’t want to miss any opportunity to listen to my annoying sexy voice while I blurt out assy shit.

 


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Kicking and screaming

Yeah, so, when I was a kid I was really afraid of getting old and dying.

For some reason, I associated the first day of school with getting older, and when you get older you’re just that much closer to dying. Thankfully, I didn’t know that you can die at any moment; that dying wasn’t just for the elderly. Oh man, that would have really fucked with my head. Also, I didn’t associate my birthday with getting older, because cake and presents. The first day of school meant I was getting older and when I get older I was going to die.

From first grade through the sixth grade, I would lose my shit for the first two weeks of school. I would cry every morning when my mom would drop me off. Not just cry; I would completely lose my mind. I would scream and hold on to the car door. My mom would have to pry my hands off the car door and drag me into school. I would sit at my desk and cry for a bit in the morning, and then eventually I would get over it. But it would start all over again the next morning. I don’t know if I thought that not going to school meant I wouldn’t get older. I think it was more like if I was going to die I didn’t want to spend my time sitting in school. Either way, this went on for about the first two weeks of every school year throughout elementary school.

luke

I was an awesome kid, right? Seriously, what a pleasure I was; a pure joy. My poor mother. I don’t know how she dealt with that shit.

For months when I dropped my mighty, mighty good boy Calvin at preschool, he would cry. He would pound on the door and have to be restrained by teachers as I left. It was heartbreaking. I would run through the playground to the car, where I would break down and cry.

My friend John told me that the trick is never to look back: “It’s like in the movies when someone walks away slowly from an explosion, and they never look back. You have to do it like that. Don’t look back. It’s better that way.”

explosion

Eventually, Calvin got over it. I walk him into the school. We say, “I love you,” and we hug at the door. He’s fine with it.

Most of the time.

It’s tough after the holiday break. He was home for almost two weeks – spending time with his family, watching TV, playing and basically doing whatever he wanted. This week, I’ve been walking him into the school as usual, but when we go to say our goodbyes, he hugs me for an extra long time. And when we say “I love you,” he is holding back the tears.

cryingpenguin

I can see him trying to be brave, and it just breaks my heart. He doesn’t start full-on crying, but he’s choked up, and that makes me get choked up. He lingers at the door and watches me leave, and I run to the car before I start balling in front of the other parents … again.

I don’t think Calvin is associating going to school with death. I think he’s bummed he can’t lay around on the couch and watch “Super Why” all day. I get it. I would rather lay around on the couch and watch TV all day, too, but I have to go to work.

Growing up is the worst.

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