The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.


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Lipstick Jungle

Yeah, so, I have an addiction.

No, not beer. But good guess, you guys!

I cannot stop buying lipstick. I have 30 different lipsticks – most of them are some variation of red. I don’t mean, “Oh, I have a few tubes of lipstick.” I mean, I have a lot of lipsticks.

I have 30 different lipsticks. I have a drawer in my bathroom that is mostly filled with lipstick. I usually have two or three of them in my purse at any given time.

This is a ridiculous amount of lipstick, right?

I don’t buy a lot of the cosmetics. I have one foundation I use. I have one face power I use. I don’t wear eye shadow or mascara. I do fill in my eyebrows, but I’ve only got one powder that I use for that, too.

It’s all about lipstick for me. I’ll just stroll through Target, Walgreen, Rite Aid, wherever, and I’ll end up buying a lipstick and maybe a tinted lip balm, even though I don’t need them.

My makeup drawer is jam-packed with lipstick, and if I try to clean it out, I end up keeping almost of them.

“No, I can’t get rid of that one. I might wear it.”

“Oh, what if I run out? I might need that one if I’m desperate.”

“I wore that lipstick on my wedding day almost 8 years ago. I can’t get rid of that one. It’s sentimental.”

I wish I was exaggerating.

I have two feet worth of lipstick.

I have a Toby and a half of lipsticks.

I have a Kubo and a half of lipstick.

I have two wine bottles worth of lipstick.

I’m not sure why I keep buying lipstick, when I already have so many. Maybe I’m hunting for the perfect lipstick; the one that will be that perfect shade of red and last all day without rubbing off when I eat and drink and without drying out my lips and makes me look 15 years younger and 30 pounds lighter.

I mean, are all those things too much to ask from one lipstick? GAWD!

Tell me about your makeup drawer. What are you collecting in there?

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Dorking Out Episode 64: IT and Favorite Stephen King Adaptations

Yeah, so, we review “IT” on this week’s Dorking Out. My niece Lorelei (who is 15 now, you guys!) and I went to the Alamo Drafthouse to see it. Honestly, I was prepared to be terrified. I imagined myself breaking out into tears in the theater, and Lorelei repeating softly, “It’s just a movie. It’s just a movie.”

Instead, I really loved the movie. I know. I’m as shocked as you guys. I haven’t read the book or seen the 1990 TV movie, so I went into it without any baggage. It’s a good movie. It’s very “Stranger Things”-esque, which makes sense. “IT” came first.

Anyway, Margo D. from Book vs. Movie podcast joins us to review “IT.” She’s read the book and saw the movie twice. She’s a big Stephen King fan, and she graciously agreed to stick around for our second segment in which we share our favorite Stephen King adaptations. Margo and Smith only laughed for a little while as I defended my love of “The Running Man.”

Dana Buckler from the awesome How Is The Movie podcast was supposed to join us, but he couldn’t make it for Hurricane Irma reasons. His podcasting studio is flooded, but I’m so glad he’s safe. He did a really great episode about the TV movie version of “IT” that is definitely worth listening to.

So, yeah, it’s a really fun episode. You should listen.

You can listen to our podcast here, or you can find us on iTunes and Stitcher. If you listen to the show, I’d love to hear what you think. You can comment here, or on our website or Facebook page.


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Dorking Out Episode 63: WTF Twin Peaks & Even More Game Of Thrones

Yeah, so, in this week’s Dorking Out, our friend Anthony C. Ferrante, director of all the “Sharknado” movies, joins us to help us process what the fuck we saw on the finale of “Twin Peaks.”

In our second segment, new friend of the show Alexandra August joins us to talk about “Game Of Thrones.” Smith asks, “Is Game Of Thrones a great TV show, or is it going to be another LOST?” Alexandra and I have thoughts and feelings about that.

And finally, in what we’re dorking out about this week, Smith and I chat about the all-girls remake of “Lord Of The Flies.” Is it ruining your childhood? Also, we decide if we’re interested in a season three of “True Detective.”

You can listen to our podcast here, or you can find us on iTunes and Stitcher. If you listen to the show, I’d love to hear what you think. You can comment here, or on our website or Facebook page.


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Dorking Out Episode 62: Fall TV Preview, The Defenders and Game Of Thrones

Yeah, so, in this week’s Dorking Out we chat about what TV shows we’re most looking forward to this fall. Plus, we review “The Defenders,” which feels like a second season of “Iron Fist” to me, and I didn’t watch the first season.

 

Oh, and we NEED to talk about the season finale of “Game Of Thrones.” It’s a really good episode. You should listen. It’s fun.

You can listen to our podcast here, or you can find us on iTunes and Stitcher. If you listen to the show, I’d love to hear what you think. You can comment here, or on our website or Facebook page.

 


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My Mighty, Mighty Good Kindergartener

Yeah, so, my mighty, mighty good boy Calvin started kindergarten last week.

GAH!

He is in a special day class, which is made up of other 11 children with special needs from kindergarten through second grade.

We were kinda fretting about this transition. Change in routine can be tough on kids, and it’s even tougher on autistic kids. But, Calvin handled it like a champ. Unlike the transition from nanny-share to preschool, which resulted in many, MANY tears from both Calvin and me, the transition to kindergarten went smoothly. I think it mostly had to do with his excitement about getting to ride a school bus by himself.

You read that correctly. Calvin is taking the school bus all by himself. And it’s all he talks about. We even got an email from his new teacher and his new speech teacher telling us that Calvin is really happy in his new class, and he has been talking about the school bus nonstop.

The only issue we had in the first week was about the after-school care, which is onsite in the cafeteria. It’s quite loud in there, and Calvin hates being in there. When he’s not talking about this school bus, he’s talking about how loud that room is.

The children can play outside on the blacktop and play structures, and Calvin spends most of his time running back and forth along a railing. He super loves one of the teachers, Ben, who works in the after-school program. Calvin is his little shadow. He probably thinks Ben is one of his Easter Seals specialists, and that he is there just for him. Calvin’s Easter Seals specialist will be here this week to work with him, and I think that will make his time at after-school care a little more pleasant for him.

Other than that, it’s been relatively painless. Of course, by writing this blog post, I probably cursed us, right?


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Word To Your Mothers

Yeah, so, during the Fourth of July weekend, my mighty, mighty good man David and I decided to take our mighty, mighty good boy Calvin to an Oakland A’s game. It was a fireworks night, and we thought he would enjoy the fireworks. [Narrator’s voice: He didn’t.]

At one point I went to the ladies room, and there was a mom behind me in line with a toddler in a stroller. The toddler was probably about 2-2 ½ years old. The big handicap stall opened up when it was my turn, but I told the mom behind me she should take it since she’s got the big stroller.

Well, she still couldn’t get the stroller in there. The stall wasn’t that big. Another woman offered to stand with the baby while the mother used the restroom, which I thought was really nice of her. Then the mother noticed that her baby was wet through her clothes, so she tried to navigate through the crowded restroom to the changing table. Another woman and I helped her with her stuff. “We’ve all been there,” I told her.

Just then a younger woman pushed her way through: “I’m just trying to pee. Get out of my way! GAWD!” And basically, every mom in the restroom gave her a dirty look. We practically hissed at her.

Yes, it was crowded in there. Yes, I understand when you gotta go, you gotta go. Still, shut up, dummy. Be nice.

This isn’t the end of the story.

By the 7th inning, Calvin said he had to use the potty. Actually, what he really said is “Uh oh. I went poo poo.”

Eeek!

So, I grab my ginormous mom purse, and we headed to the ladies room. I’m not going to get too gross here, but let’s just say … this shit was messy. I probably shouldn’t have let him eat an entire bag of popcorn.

Anyway, we’re in the stall, and I’m trying to get these pants off of him and clean him up, and Calvin is apologizing over and over.

“I’m sorry, mommy. I’m sorry, mommy.”

“It’s OK, sweet boy. Accidents happen. We’re going to get you cleaned up,” I told him.

He said sorry so many times that other women were chiming in:

“It’s OK. It’s just an accident.”

“Don’t even worry about it. It happens all the time.”

Then I realized that I forgot the wipes. I always carry backup clothes and wipes even though he’s 5 years old and potty trained, because the one time you don’t is the one time you’ll need them, right? That’s what happened here.

“OK, I forgot the wipes, honey. Let me get some paper towels,” I said.

I open the stall door to get paper towels, and there are none.

“OK … There are no paper towels,” I told him. “We’re going to have to do this with a ton of toilet paper, I guess. Don’t worry. We will get you cleaned up.”

And that’s when all the ladies in the restroom sprang into action.

“I need to change my baby anyway. Let me run back to my seat and get her and the diaper bag with wipes.”

“I’m going to run to the nearest food stand and get all the napkins.”

Another woman just ran out without a word, and returned a few seconds later with a bunch the napkins and paper towels from their suite.

“Thank you, ladies. Thank you,” I kept repeating.

“Oh, this always happens to me – the one time I forget the wipes,” one of them said.

“Or you remember the wipes but then you forget backup pants,” another chimed in.

“This happened to me with my son just the other day,” yet another woman said.

I was so grateful to these ladies. I thanked them repeatedly, and I went back to my seat to tweet my thanks, because that’s what I do.

When I’ve shared this story with some of my mom friends, they all have similar stories about their children having accidents and every mother within a two-mile radius chipping in to help out. Good job, moms. There’s a lot of mommy shaming out there, but I’m happy that sometimes we’ve got each other’s backs.


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My Totally Boring Dream Story

Yeah, so, I had a dream the other night … Hey, where are you going? I get it. Dream talk is boring. Come on. It’s a short story.

Anyway, in the dream, my mighty, mighty good man David said I was stupid, and he was going to divorce me.

“You fooled me for a while, but you are really stupid. I will be letting the zoo know that we are divorcing,” he said.

So, just to be clear, in my dream, it was David’s top priority to let the zoo know that our family membership status would be changing.

I told him about my dream the next morning.

“Well, you don’t want to mess with the zoo people,” he replied.

And now, whenever we have a disagreement David says, “Oh that’s it. I’m calling the zoo.”

 


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Dorking Out Episode 61: Summer Movie Review, Fall Movie Preview & Game Of Thrones

Yeah, so, we share our most anticipated movies for the rest of the year in this week’s Dorking Out. I mean, movies other than “The Last Jedi,” of course.

We also talk about the summer movie season’s biggest winners and losers, which was really just another opportunity for me to talk about how much I love “Girls Trip” and hated “The Dark Tower.”

But wait, there’s more! We also talk about Sunday night’s “Game Of Thrones.” I try to give a good breakdown of what happened in the episode, and then Peter Brown from Assignment X and I have a really fun conversation about it. I can’t believe the season will already be over next week.

I forgot to link to the last few episodes. Sorry about that.

Episode 60: We review “Detroit,” and wonder where the next big movie trend is going to come from.

Episode 59: We review “The Dark Tower,” and discuss the controversy surrounding “Confederate.”

So anyway, you can listen to our podcast here, or you can find us on iTunes and Stitcher. If you listen to the show, I’d love to hear what you think. You can comment here, or on our website or Facebook page.


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Beach Talk

Yeah, so, we are back from our annual family trip to Santa Cruz.

In the past there was a big group of us, but this year it was just the three of us – just us MansTracys. The truth is we always end up doing our own thing anyway. My mighty, mighty good boy Calvin usually has his own autistic agenda, and it involves finding all the ceiling fans in the area. It definitely doesn’t involve going on roller coasters at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk, which is fine by me. I don’t want to ride that stuff, either.

We started our trip with a stop at the Roaring Camp Railroads to ride the steam train. If you have a kid who loves trains, this is a must-do. The steam train winds its way through a redwood forest and stops by Bear Mountain, where everyone can get out and do some exploring.

Come on, ride the train.

Two bumps on a log.

When in Santa Cruz we like to stay at the Dream Inn, because we’re so fuckin’ fancy. Actually, I’m pretty sure we’re the opposite of fancy, but we do love staying there. It’s right on the beach, and it’s got a heated swimming pool. Every morning we order room service for breakfast and eat on the balcony.

Meh.

After breakfast, we usually walk the wharf, stopping into every shop and restaurant that has a ceiling fan. We usually tell the hostess, cashier, etc., what we’re doing and why. “He’s autistic, and he loves ceiling fans.” I realize that we don’t have to tell them, but I think it’s a good idea. This way, if another autistic person comes in, they will recognize it. Maybe it’s a silly thing to do, but I think it helps raise awareness.

We walked the wharf a few times a day, so all the employees in the shops and restaurants started to recognize us, and they always had a smile for Calvin. He’s really into naming shapes right now, so we walked the wharf and listed shapes: “square, circle, oval, rectangle, parallelogram, rhombus, star, arrow, heart.”

After we walked the wharf, we would go to the beach. We had a great time just playing in the waves and walking along the beach. During one trip to the beach, Calvin and I held hands and walked along the water until we ran out of beach. I got a little teary. The two of us have faced a lot of challenges in the past few years. Calvin received his autism diagnosis about the same time I was diagnosed with breast cancer for the second time. But here we were, walking on the beach together – healthy and happy.

Beach boy.

After the beach, we would head to the pool. Calvin loves to be in the water, and he’s getting braver and braver. He’s been working on his dog paddle, which he calls “dog piddle.” The Dream Inn has a nice pool. It’s packed with families, and there’s a bar (beer!) and a taco stand.

Pool boys.

One afternoon, we were in the pool, and employees came around and told us that we needed to get out because they had to clean the pool. It turned out someone dropped a turd off at the pool.

“Hmm, maybe setting up a taco stand next to the swimming pool wasn’t the Dream Inn’s smartest decision,” I told David.

“Mr. Hanky decided to go for a swim, too,” David replied. “Howdy ho!

Some folks nearby overheard David, and they started cracking up and talking about Mr. Hanky. It wasn’t long until we could hear the Mr. Hanky impressions going around the pool.

So, yeah, that was pretty gross. And I was so, so, SO thankful our kid wasn’t responsible.

We did walk through the Beach Boardwalk one day, but Calvin didn’t like it. He thought it was too loud, which was a change from last year. He loved walking through the boardwalk last summer, looking at the lights and watching (but never riding) the rides.

This year, he was more interested in watching the boardwalk from the comfort of our room. He referred to the boardwalk as “hockey island.” “Hockey Island is too loud.” “Oh, Hockey Island is closed.” Pretty impressive “Inside Out” reference.

We also hit a few Santa Cruz breweries, including Seabright Brewery, Santa Cruz Mountain Brewing and Humble Sea Brewing Company.  We got the Easy Money IPA and Blur IPA from Seabright. Very drinkable and perfect for the beach. I had the Devout Stout, because I’ve been drinking a lot of IPA lately, and I was ready for something dark. It was delicious, but the real winner was David’s Dread Brown Ale. We got a couple of growler-cans to go. On our way out of Santa Cruz, we stopped at Humble Sea. I got a stout based on Girl Scout thin mint cookies, and David got a northeast-style IPA, and both were pretty good. I was really impressed with all three places. They were terrific, comfortable spaces that were all dog and kid friendly. I’m always surprised by how kid-friendly other restaurants and breweries are outside of San Francisco. Other cities recognize that human beings have children, and that’s a part of life. San Francisco would prefer you get a sitter. Personally, I think some of the breweries in San Francisco could learn something from the ones in the East Bay and beyond. Children are a part of life. Get with the program.

So anyway, we had an awesome time on our trip, but it was nice to come home. We missed our animals. Toby spent the week with my mom. She told me that he really missed me, and he spent a lot of time staring longingly out the window. Our neighbor took care of Kubo for us. She said she’s not really a cat person, but Kubo has won her over. Kubo did the same thing with David. I think it’s her super power.

One of the smart things we planned with this vacation is we got back on Thursday, so we have Friday, Saturday and Sunday to recover. Most of the time, after a vacation, we feel like we need another vacation to recover from our vacation.

I’m so glad my double chin decided to photobomb our nice family pic.


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Dorking Out Episode 58: Our Favorite Movies Of The 2000s

Yeah, so, we share our favorite movies of the 2000s in this week’s Dorking Out.

I worked on this list off and on for weeks beforehand, which is ridiculous because it’s not like it’s a binding legal document. I was determined to have some variety on the list, and I really didn’t want it to be like every other movie lover’s list.

I made a few rules for myself in compiling the list, including considering a movies “rewatch-ability factor.” I think I did pretty OK. Please remember that my list are my favorite movies, not the best movies. My list of movies that I would argue are the best would be very different and probably include movies such as “Children of Men,” “Pan’s Labyrinth” and “Inglorious Basterds.” You know, influential shit like that.

So anyway, you can listen to our podcast here, or you can find us on iTunes and Stitcher. If you listen to the show, I’d love to hear what you think. You can comment here, or on our website or Facebook page.