The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.


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Spaceball

Yeah, so, my mighty, mighty good man David and I love to watch baseball. We want to go to more games together, and we want to bring our my mighty, mighty good boy Calvin.

He hasn’t been to a baseball game since he was a baby.

Gaaah! Was he ever that small?

A crowded and loud baseball game isn’t necessarily Calvin’s favorite place to be, but we want to try. Unfortunately, San Francisco Giants tickets are kinda expensive. We’re not sure we want to spend $50+ on a ticket for Calvin, if he demands we leave after 10 minutes.

Luckily, we’re a two-team household, so we can go to Oakland A’s games, which are waaaay more affordable.

Just a few days after talking about it with David, I got an email from Easter Seals Bay Area, offering us free tickets to the A’s game. They were hosting a “A Home Run For Autism” event at the game: free tickets, free sodas and free food. We had to buy our own beer, because duh – we’re not going to drink soda at a baseball game.

This turned out to be the perfect opportunity to reintroduce Calvin to baseball. We had an awesome time. He got a giant bag of popcorn, and he was as happy as can be. Plus, there were a lot of airplanes and helicopters flying overhead, and he loved that. He got a little nervous with the giant head mascots showed up, but that had more to do with all the people running over to get photos than with the mascots themselves.

We made it until the ninth inning, and then Calvin was kinda ready to go. Unfortunately, the A’s lost the game, but we still felt like winners because we got spend a beautiful day in the ballpark with our boy. We asked him if he liked going to the baseball game and he said, “Yes. I like spaceball.”


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Return Of The Cat

Yeah, so, our stray cat friend returned last night!

Toby was acting all squirrelly around the front door, and Kubo was sitting the front window and making funny noises, so I checked the porch, and our stray cat friend was there. I had put a towel on the porch a month or so ago, thinking she would like to sleep on it. Apparently, she does want to sleep on it. Just a few days ago, I debated throwing it away. I’m glad I left it out for her.

I put some food and water out for her, and she scooted away from me. My mighty, mighty good man David is right: We’re going to have to earn her trust back.

Her front paw looked better, but she was still limping. This time she was holding up her back leg. Also, she looked really, really skinny. Maybe she just holed up somewhere until she was feeling well enough to come back and get some food. Poor thing.

I’m so glad she came back. We will give it some time, and earn her trust back. Once she starts feeling confident that we’re not going to trap her, we will try to trap her. She seems really smart to me. I’m not sure she will fall for the ol’ food in the trap trick, but maybe I’m wrong.

 


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You Drive Me Crazy

Yeah, so, I was driving to work and thinking about all the things I need to do once I get there.

“I need to send that email. I need to work on the video script. I need to fix our Google Plus page.” You know, a bunch of silly to-do list things.

Right as I was getting on the freeway, I noticed I was listening to the “Cars” soundtrack.

“Why am I listening to this crap?” I thought. “OH SHIT!”

And sitting the back seat was Calvin.

I forgot to drop him off at school! I was completely on autopilot and was driving to work without even thinking.

“I’m not going to school,” he said.

“You’re going to school. I went the wrong way,” I told him.

Every morning I drop Calvin off at preschool and then drive to work. Why today I skipped the preschool I have no idea. I’m so glad I didn’t get all the way to the office with him.

Actual footage of me driving.

Have you ever drive somewhere on autopilot? I’d love to read your stories in the comments.


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Dorking Out Episode 42: The Fate Of The Furious & Mystery Science Theater 3000

Yeah, so, in this week’s episode of Dorking Out we review “The Fate Of The Furious,” because Smith hates me.

I saw the first one in 2001 in the theater with my brother, and the second one in 2003. I haven’t seen them since, and I didn’t see any of the other sequels. I basically walked into this movie completely clueless. Man oh man, I did not like this movie. I know that people love this franchise, but it is not for me. Yes, the movie is dumb, but sometimes dumb is fun. This movie isn’t fun. It’s dumb and mean. I hated it. If you like listening to Ranty Sonia, then this is the episode for you.

In our second segment, we talk the return of “Mystery Science Theater 3000” on Netflix, a show that I find so comforting. I’m so happy it’s back.

You can listen to Dorking Out here, or you can find us on iTunes, Stitcher and YouTube. If you listen to the show, I’d love to hear what you think. You can comment here, or on our website or Facebook page.


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Random Thoughts: ‘Mother,’ The Skimm And More

Yeah, so, I’m feeling random today, so here I go again on my own …

I finally introduced my mighty, mighty good man David to one of my favorite comedies, “Mother,” written and directed by Albert Brooks. Have you seen “Mother?” You should see “Mother.” This movie makes me laugh so hard. Seriously, I giggle throughout this movie. And I don’t mean, I’m watching the movie and I think, “Oh that’s funny.” I mean, I literally laugh out loud over and over. It’s the best. And now, David finally gets it when I say, “It’s fancy jam time.”

So, yeah, last week, I was riding in the car with my sister Michelle and listening to the radio. I don’t listen to the radio that much anymore. I mainly listen to podcasts now, because I’m a super-rad podcaster now. The radio station was playing an ad for itself, “We have the greatest variety from the Backstreet Boys to Phil Collins.”

Umm, that’s not really a variety.

They might as well have said, “We have the great variety of music from Genesis to Phil Collins.”

It made me really glad that I pay the $9.99 for Apple Music.

I think I’ve recommended The Skimm before, but I’m going to do it again, because it’s rad. It delivers an email every morning summarizing all the news I need to know so I don’t sounds like an ignorant asshole. You should sign up, too – not that I think you’re an ignorant asshole. Everyone knows that The Sonia Show readers are the smartest readers in all the land.

OK, so, there’s a banner hanging on a restaurant in Concord, and every time I drive by it makes me want to smash my car into their restaurant.

Not only does it feature a typo, which is awful, it also features random capitalization! It’s a twofer. UGH! I see stuff like this, and I think I’ll always be able to find a job, but then I remember that these folks didn’t hire anyone. The banner has been up for weeks. Has no one told them? Maybe I need to stop by and let them know. Maybe they will give me free Sushi-Thai … whatever that is.

By the way, thank you to everyone who offered advice about our cat friend. She still hasn’t come back, and I’m still worried.

Let’s end this blog post on a cuter note, here’s a video of the cutest, happiest dog in the dog park.


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My Boo

Yeah, so, on Friday night, we dropped mighty, mighty good boy Calvin off at the Peek-A-Boo Factory in West Portal for their monthly date night.

Actual footage of David and I after we drop off Calvin at Peek-A-Boo Factory for date night.

Basically, we pay $35, drop Calvin off, and he runs around on their play structure for three hours. They serve pizza that he won’t eat, and they do crafts that he doesn’t really care about. He just wants to go down the long, red slide for three hours.

Anyway, we dropped him off as usual and walked to a nearby restaurant for dinner. After dinner, we went to a bar across the street from Peek-A-Boo to grab a drink. We ran into another set of parents from Calvin’s preschool. They dropped their son off at Peek-A-Boo as well, and they were a little nervous because they had never done it before.

“Calvin loves it,” we told them. “It’s awesome.”

We chatted for a bit, and then they left because they wanted to pick their son up a little early, since it was his first time. I laughed and said, “Well, we’re going to wait until the very last second to pick up Calvin.”

And right then, mighty, mighty good man David noticed that Peek-A-Boo had called. Calvin was crying and upset, and they didn’t know why. D’oh!

We went across the street, and we could see him through the locked glass doors. He was crying. When they let us in, he ran into my arms sobbing. One of the employees, who always gives Calvin special attention at these date nights, had no idea what was wrong.

“He’s always so happy,” she told us.

While we were heading home, Calvin said, “I got locked in the trailer,” which is something that happened at my parents’ house the week before. My dad has a trailer on the side of the house, and Calvin was playing in it, and he accidentally locked himself in it for about a minute.

I thought maybe he got locked in the restroom at Peek-A-Boo, and this is his way of telling us.

“Did you get locked in the bathroom at the red slide, Calvin,” I asked. “Red slide” is what he calls Peek-A-Boo Factory.

“No,” he replied. “I got locked in the trailer at Grandma’s.”

“I know,” I said. “That’s scary.”

“There’s a ghost in the trailer,” he said.

WTF?!?!?

“There’s a ghost in the trailer?” I repeated.

“Yes.”

 

I texted my mom. “Your trailer is haunted. FYI.”

My dad loves to kill things, so I’m not sure how he will deal with something that is already dead living in his trailer, but I’m sure he’ll figure it out.

It turned out that Calvin wasn’t feeling very well. He had a fever by the time we got home, and he was off and on feverish all day Saturday. Poor little guy.


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Dorking Out Episode 42: Our Favorite Sports Movies And Why I Hate Promposals

Yeah, so, in this week’s episode of Dorking Out we share our top 3 favorite sports movies. I tried to make it so all of mine weren’t baseball movies, but I failed, because baseball is THE BEST. I also explain why “The Naked Gun” is one of my favorite sports movies.

In our second segment, we talk about pop culture homework. Do you watch the original movie before seeing a new remake? Do you read the book before seeing the movie?

Oh, and the podcast starts with me going off about how promposals are stupid. Seriously, fuck promposals. You’re not asking someone to marry you. It’s the goddamn prom. And all the boys who keep making promposal videos asking famous actresses to the prom: Just stop it. Stop it! For most of our lives, women compare themselves to celebrities. We’re not pretty enough, skinny enough, etc. It’s so tough to be a teenage girl, and now they have to keep with Emma Stone for a date to the prom. Come on!

So, yeah, promposals are lame. Do the kids still say “lame?”

You can listen to Dorking Out here, or you can find us on iTunes, Stitcher and YouTube. If you listen to the show, I’d love to hear what you think. You can comment here, or on our website or Facebook page.


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Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty

Yeah, so, our cat friend isn’t doing so well, and we’re worried.

We have a stray cat that has been coming around our house for a few months. We think she’s feral. She never lets us get close enough to pet her, but she will sniff our hands and meow at us. She’s been feeling pretty comfortable at our house. We keep bowls of food and water on our porch for her, and she will eat and then lounge on our porch in the sun. Also, we don’t know if our cat friend is a male or female, but we talk about her like she’s a girl.

If the bowls are empty, she will just sit on the porch and wait for us to notice. Usually, Toby or Kubo let us know she’s out there by hanging around the front door and sniffing.

Earlier this week, I heard a cat fight. It was dark, and I couldn’t see anything, but I could hear it. I was worried it was our cat friend. Then she didn’t come around for a few days. It’s not that unusual for her to not visit for a few days, but still, I was worried.

She finally showed up on Wednesday night. One of her front paws is swollen, and she is limping. I immediately ran back into the house to tell my mighty, mighty good man David, and he came out with food and water. We tried to get her to come close, and David tried to grab her. But, even though she’s injured, she’s still fast, and we couldn’t get her.

David called Animal Control, and by the time they came out, she was nowhere to be seen. That night, as we were getting ready to fall asleep, David said, “I shouldn’t have tried to grab her. I betrayed her trust.”

I love this man so much. I don’t know if I can adequately express how much it touches my heart, and how much it means to me, that he cares about animals. I grew up in a house of hunters. My parents have a room filled with mounted animals, which we call The Ego Room. My dad is like Gaston in “Beauty & The Beast,” and he uses antlers in all of his decorating.

I was always the odd girl out. I didn’t hunt. I felt protective of animals, and I was never comfortable with my family killing them. I still ate meat for most of my life, but I was never OK with it. I felt a lot of guilt when I ate, and not just because I was worried about gaining weight. This is probably why I took to veganism so easily.

So anyway, my point is … we’re worried about our cat friend. I feel confident she will come back. Toby and Calvin have chased her off before, and she’s always come back. But she wasn’t injured before. She wasn’t walking around with a catcher’s mitt for a paw. I know that if it goes untreated it will just get worse and worse. It will definitely get infected. And since she’s feral she hasn’t received any shots. If that swollen paw is the result of a bite from another cat, it could be she’s been infected with any number of awful, possibly fatal cat diseases.

We didn’t want to capture her. We were always fine just giving her food and water, and she was welcome to hang out at our place. But now that she is hurt, I think we need to get her some help. Poor thing.


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Dorking Out Episode 41: Big Little Lies, Ghost In The Shell and S-Town

Yeah, so, did you watch the series finale of “Big Little Lies?” I did, and I had a lot to say about it in this week’s Dorking Out.

I don’t want to spoil it here for you, just in case you haven’t watched the final episode yet, but I will say that a lot of TV series mistake a depressing ending for a powerful ending. This series doesn’t not fall into that, and gives viewers the ending they want, which made me love the series even more.

Also, “Big Little Lies” gave me this gif, which is pretty much perfectly describes every conversation I have with my mighty, mighty good man David.

Also, on this week’s podcast, we review the amazing new podcast “S-Town.” If you haven’t listened to it, you should listen to it. What starts as another true crime podcast turns into a fascinating story about death, sexual repression, mental illness and – well – illness. So many of the stories we get from Hollywood are based in LA, New York or Chicago, and involve cops, lawyers and doctors. There are a million stories to tell, and I’m glad that someone is telling one.

We also review the live-action remake of “Ghost In The Shell,” which is a shell of a movie, in my opinion. It’s pretty to look at, but doesn’t go beneath the surface and explore the ideas of what it means to be human when it should have. It was disappointing.

You can listen to Dorking Out here, or you can find us on iTunes and Stitcher. If you listen to the show, I’d love to hear what you think. You can comment here, or on our website or Facebook page.

 


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Fancy Pants

Yeah, so, as much as I super love my dog, Toby. He is a gross, nasty, little dog – just like all other dogs.

The other day, Toby chewed a hole in my favorite pants. I even wrote about how much I love them in one of my favorite things blog posts.

And not only did he chew a hole in the pants, he chewed out the crotch. Nasty, right? Dogs are disgusting. Of course, he doesn’t know how gross he is. I was holding the pants and looking at him, and he’s looking back at me like, “There! I fixed your pants for you.”

Admit it: You can’t stay mad at me.

I was actually getting ready to buy a second pair, because I love them so much. Instead of buying a second pair, I’m buying a replacement pair, and, well, they’re not cheap.

Other than that incident, he’s a good dog. I love his resting worry face. He’s very smart and sweet. It took a little effort, but he is house trained now. And, of course, he is my best buddy. He follows me all over the house and cries when I leave. He spoons me in the middle of the night.

He has really warmed up to David and Calvin, too. He loves to sit on Calvin’s bed when he’s getting ready to go to sleep. And in the evenings while we’re watching TV, he perches on the top of the couch behind David’s head and shoulders. Oh, AND, he’s got the softest fur ever. Seriously, it’s so soft, you guys.