The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.


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The Pop Show #23: Game Of Thrones, Ghostbusters, Star Trek and more

Yeah, so, I am the champion the new “Ghostbusters” reboot in this week’s Pop Show podcast for Assignment X.

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I have talked this before, but I got even more worked up this time, because I’m so over the hatred and misogyny directed at this remake. Seriously, grow up, babies! I don’t even know what to say about these sexist assholes who claim to hate a movie they haven’t even seen because they are “just tired of remakes,” but are totally fine with reboot after reboot of superhero movies, and haven’t said jackshit about “The Magnificent Seven” remake. These whiny crybabies, who can’t stand that the new “Ghostbusters” movie isn’t based on their fanfiction, are drowning out the more interesting conversion about the state of remakes and what about the trailers for “Ghostbusters” works and doesn’t work.

Anyway … Don’t trip on my soapbox.

Also, in this podcast:

  • We have a really great discussion about this season of “Game Of Thrones,” including last night’s episode. Serious spoilers if you haven’t watched it yet. Consider yourself warned.
  • I bust out my truly awful Trump impression again, because I’ll do anything to get people to listen to our podcast.
  • We boldly go where we have gone before, and talk about the new “Star Trek Beyond” trailer that dropped last week.

You can listen to the podcast on Assignment X, and you can find us on iTunes riiight here.


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Rude awakening

Yeah, so, I went to the movies by myself.

I don’t think I’ve been to the movies by myself since the early 2000s. I used to go to the movies by myself all the time back in the day, but that’s because I was a loner, Dottie. Not really. I just really liked going to the movies, and occasionally I went by myself.

This solo trip to the theater was a little Mother’s Day gift. Mighty, mighty good man David spent the morning with mighty, mighty good boy Calvin, and I skipped out to watch “Captain America: Civil War” at the Alamo Drafthouse on Mission.

If you’ve never been to the Alamo Drafthouse, you should go to there. It’s rad. It has assigned seating, so I bought my ticket the night before. All of the seats share a little table for your food and drinks. I tried to be courteous and get a seat in which I wouldn’t have to share a table with a stranger. We all like our space. I get it.

I went to a 9:45 a.m. showing on Mother’s Day, so I had plenty of seats to choose from, but that didn’t stop someone else from buying a ticket for the seat next to me. I guess he doesn’t care about personal space.

When I showed up, a man was already sitting in my neighboring seat. “Sorry, your single table is a double now,” I said. “That’s fine. Welcome,” he replied.

I got to the movie early, because Alamo Drafthouse shows really funny videos before the movie starts. There was a lot of YouTube videos of people dressed up as Captain America and dancing. There was also a Japanese commercial for a urinary tract infection medicine, in which the mascot (because why wouldn’t a UTI medicine have a mascot?) looks creepily like Iron Man.

So anyway, the waiter delivered my seatmate’s coffee, and I ordered some popcorn and a ginger ale, because strangely I decided that 9:45 a.m. was too early for a beer, which doesn’t really sound like me, I know.

A few minutes later, the waiter arrived with a big bowl of popcorn, and I immediately slammed my hand in it and started stuffing my face like an animal.

“Eww. This popcorn tastes weird. There’s something on it,” I blurted out.

“It’s parmesan. I know that because it’s my popcorn,” my seatmate replied.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

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“OH MY GOD! I am so, so sorry! You can have some of my popcorn when it arrives.”

My seatmate was very nice about it. He said it wasn’t a problem at all. No worries. I could have offered to buy him a new popcorn or a drink or something, but I didn’t because I got distracted by the UTI Iron Man. Also, I’m an asshole.


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The Pop Show Podcast #22: ‘Star Wars’ prequels, canceled TV shows and more ‘Civil War’

Yeah, so, a weird thing happened on this week’s The Pop Show podcast. We actually talk about everything we planned to talk about.

I know, right? WTF?

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No guests this week, it’s just the core group of Ryan, Smith and Peter. No Anthony, who is working on a little movie you’ve probably heard of, “Sharknado 4.

In this podcast:

  • We chat about the rumor that Disney wants to remake the “Star Wars” prequel, which someone how dissolves into me doing my terrible impression of Donald Trump. I do really terrible impressions. You’ve been warned.
  • We go down the list of all the TV shows that were canceled last week, including “The Muppets” and “Agent Carter,” a show I wanted to watch but never did so I’m part of the problem.
  • We double down on “Captain America: Civil War” with a spoiler-filled discussion about the movie. If you haven’t seen it, you might want to skip that section.
  • Oh, and there’s talk about a “Fantastic Four” sequel even though the movie was a massive trainwreck that we make fun of on a weekly basis.

You can listen to the podcast on Assignment X, and you can find us on iTunes riiight here.

 


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The Pop Show Podcast #21: ‘Captain America: Civil War’ and ‘Zoombies’

Yeah, so, we have guests on this week’s Pop Show podcast.

Glenn Miller joins us. I wanted to ask him about his big band career in the 1930s and ‘40s, but apparently this Glenn Miller is the director of “Zoombies,” a TV movie about a zombie animals running amuck in a zoo.

We also chat with two co-stars from the movie, one of which is an 8-year-old girl. She’s adorable. You’d think we’d be on our best behavior because we have guests, but instead we talk about which word for poop is the funniest. FYI: I think “dookie” is the funniest.

Anthony did most of the talking, but I did ask a question. I won’t spoil it here, but it’s a good question. That’s all I’m going to say about that.

The second half of the podcast is a spoiler-free discussion “Captain America: Civil War,” which — not surprisingly — we all really liked.

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I am really impressed with what Marvel has been able to accomplish, and I think after laying the ground with like 12 movies, Marvel earned this movie. It’s really good. And I love that a summer blockbuster and superhero movie that could have been just a silly popcorn movie and would still make a billion dollars actually has something interesting and smart to say about loyalty and responsibility. It’s really good, you guys. Go see it.

You can listen to the podcast on Assignment X, and you can find us on iTunes riiight here.


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The side effects of side effects

Yeah, so, remember when I mentioned I was starting a new hormone therapy to suppress estrogen to decrease my chance for cancer reoccurrence? Remember? Well, it turns out that drug makes me sick.

Wheeeeeee!

So, a while back, my oncologist wanted to start this estrogen-suppression drug. I picked up the drug, but I didn’t take it for a while, because I needed to do my anxiety dance around it before taking it. Just in case you are wondering, my anxiety dance looks like this:

panic

After I finished my ridiculous dance, I started the drug. It made me occasionally light headed with a little nausea. I was not happy about it. Then mighty, mighty good man David had to travel for work, so I stopped taking the drug. I need to be fully operational when David is away. After David got back, I went back on the drug.  After more than a week back on the drug, the light-headed feeling returned, and then the nausea kicked in … hard. I left work on Wednesday afternoon, and even though I had stopped taking the drug, I was vomiting Friday morning. Not only was I vomiting, and vomiting is the fucking worst, I had to get a refund for my “Captain America: Civil War” tickets at the Alamo Drafthouse, AND I missed out on the cool pint glass. Not cool, Exemestane.

On top of that, the nausea reminded me of chemo, and it really upset me. In other words, I have been a goddamn joy to be around.

The good news is I’m feeling much better now. I spoke with my doctor, and I won’t be taking that drug anymore. I’ll be continuing the Lupron shots and restarting tamoxifen. You might remember tamoxifen from such blog posts as “Sonia killed a man, but that’s probably a side effect, right?” and “I want a new drug.” I was taking tamoxifen after the first mastectomy and was still taking it after when I was diagnosed with breast cancer the second time.

I know what you thinking. “Hey, if you got cancer while taking tamoxifen it must not be a very effective drug.” I know that’s kinda what I thought the first time it was recommended. However, it is possible that second breast cancer diagnosis may have been a lot worse if I wasn’t on the drug. Also, there was a huge chunk of time that I wasn’t taking the drug. I had quit taking six months before we started trying to get pregnant.

My doctor feels that with the mastectomy, the chemo, the Lupron, the vegan diet and tamoxifen is just as effective in preventing reoccurrence, so we don’t all need to freak out. Cool? Cool.

Shall we talk about something else? Let’s do it.

I went to one of those Paint Nite events again. Drinking and painting is fun. You should try it some time.

Look at how cute my sister is.

Look at how cute my sister is.

Here's my painting. It's not half bad, if I don't say so myself.

Here’s my painting. It’s not half bad, if I don’t say so myself.

What else should we talk about?

Oh, I did get to see “Captain America: Civil War.” I went in the morning on Mother’s Day. I thought the movie was really good. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about it, but you will have to listen to this week’s Pop Show podcast to hear what they are. Stay tuned.


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The Pop Show Podcast #20: ‘Game Of Thrones’ is back

Yeah, so, we’re all about “Game Of Thrones” in this week’s Pop Show podcast.

Peter, Smith, Ryan and I have all kinds of thoughts and feelings about the first two episodes of the season. We talk about them with big-time spoilers, so consider yourself warned.

jonsnow

Other things discussed in this week’s podcast:

  • Ryan visited the famous Magic Castle in LA. Does the story was going to take an “Eyes Wide Shut” turn? Listen and find out.
  • Echo Cooler is Slurm, you guys.

slurm

  • “Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice” made like a gazillion dollars, but Warner Bros. is still worried that all the DC Universe movies need to be retooled. The studio’s meddling is causing directors to ditch their projects like it’s their first wives.
  • We’re all downright giddy to see “Captain America: Civil War.”

You can listen to the podcast riiight here, and you can find us on iTunes riiight here.


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‘Go kick the styrofoam heads around’ and other random things I’ve said today

Yeah, so, mighty, mighty good man David travels for work about once a month. He flies down to LA, usually leaving early Monday or Tuesday morning and coming back Thursday or Friday night.

One of these things happens every time David travels:

  • The internet stops working.*
  • The Playstation, which we use as a DVD player, stops working.*
  • Mighty, mighty good boy Calvin gets sick.
  • We get a fuckin’ creeper outside the house and the police never show up.

*The internet or the Playstation stop working depending on which one is most important at the time. For example, if Calvin is obsessed with watching a movie that have on DVD that’s when the Playstation will stop working for some random reason. If it’s a show that’s streaming on Netflix, that’s when the internet will crap out just enough so that it’s constantly giving us the never-ending spinning wheel of 26% loaded.

This time around, it’s Calvin. He’s got a nasty cold. He’s still in pretty good spirits, and there’s no fever. But, I still needed to keep him home from preschool, which meant I had to work from home today, which meant we were trapped in the house together all day. Good times.

The mornings usually go pretty well. He watches TV and eats, and I’m able to work. Later, we have lunch together, and then he starts to get restless.

Here’s some random things I’ve said today:

  • “No, honey. Mommy doesn’t want to be spit on.”
  • “Please don’t sit on the dog.”
  • “Get the colander off your face.”
  • “Leave my arm fat alone.”
  • “Please stop blowing in my face.”
  • “Please stop coughing in my face.”
  • “Please stop pretending to eat my face.”
  • “Why don’t you go kick the styrofoam heads around?”
styrafoam head

You may be wondering why I have a styrofoam head? Good question. It is leftover from my massive collection of chemo wigs.

I get it. It sucks to be trapped in the house all day with boring-ass mommy, who is trying to work. It’s not my idea of a good time, either. When Calvin wasn’t trying to spit on me or asking me for more juice, more food, more TV, more everything, the dog was barking at me. The dog wants to be let outside. He wants to eat the food that Calvin is eating. He wants outside again. There’s food on the counter in the kitchen, and he would like to eat it now, please. Repeat.

Kids and dogs, amirite?

I’m lucky to have a job that lets me work from home when my kid is sick. Also, it’s probably for the best that I had to work from home anyway. Our boss from our home office in Minnesota is visiting our office this week. I don’t interact with her too much, because the less interaction I have, the less opportunity I have to say something stupid.

I was chatting with a coworker, who had complimented me on my darker red hair color. The new boss walked by, and tried to join in the conversation with a compliment.

“I love your short haircut. I wish I was brave enough to try it,” she said.

“Well, you could get cancer and do chemotherapy so you have no choice to try it” is what I could have said.

Instead, I said, “Thank you,” because I’m polite as fuck. Promotion and a raise, please!

 


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He’s a fan of fans

Yeah, so, my mighty, mighty good boy Calvin loves to watch ceiling fans.

I mean, he really loves ceiling fans. His super power is spotting a ceiling fan from a mile away. If he had a LinkedIn profile, you would endorse him for his skill in detecting a ceiling fan in unlikely locations, such as the restroom at the zoo. Seriously, that’s a skill.

Calvin is autistic, and I’m sure this love of ceiling fans is not unusual for autistic people or people with sensory processing disorders.

Wherever we go, if there is a ceiling fan, Calvin has thoughts and feelings about it. This fan needs to be on, and that one needs to be off. This one needs the light on, and that one needs the light off. That fan needs to go fast, and this fan needs to be slow.

This is priority #1 when visiting his grandparents. The first thing he does when walking into their house is run from room to room, turning fans and lights on and off, so they are just the way he wants. It’s so common that it’s not even a thing anymore. Everyone just lets him get all the fans set up the way he likes it.

In public places with ceiling fans, he might let it slide, but he will talk to the employees of the establishment to let them know that this fan is on, and that one is off. “It’s broken. The fan is broken,” he says.

Every Monday, Calvin has a speech appointment, and after speech we absolutely have to go into a little sandwich/cheese shop near the speech therapist’s office, because there are ceiling fans. All the employees know who Calvin is now. “Hi,” and they wave. “Do you want me to turn this fan on for you?” He points out every fan in the store and comments about whether they are on or off, fast or slow. Then it’s time to leave. “Bye bye, fans.” And the employees wave, “Bye! See you next Monday.”

When he’s in the mood for a ceiling fan, but can’t get to one he move his fingers in front of his eyes. He calls this his “fan.” “That’s my fan,” he says.

Here’s a video of him reciting a recipe for juice that he learned from “Curious George.” One red apple, one red strawberry, one red watermelon, and “whatever this was” – which, on the cartoon – is a cabbage. Around the 30-second mark, Calvin brings out his “fan.”

Mighty, mighty good man David also got a good photo of Calvin bringing out his fan at the zoo

calvinsfan

A few months ago I wondered, “Are there ceiling fan videos on YouTube?” It turns out that was a completely stupid question. Of course there are ceiling fan videos on YouTube. There are a lot.

You might think that’s strange, but guess what? Some of the videos have close to 1 million views. There are a ton of folks out there who like to watch ceiling fans. Maybe a lot of those people are autistic or have sensory processing disorders, or maybe it’s some weird sex thing that I don’t want to know about.

So, every night Calvin climbs into bed, and he asks to watch fans on his iPad for a bit. There are videos that are just spinning ceiling fans. There are videos in which people walk from room to room in their house and talk about their different ceiling fans. There are videos of people turning fans on and turning fans off. There are videos in which people tie a string around one of the ceiling fan blades and their cats chase it. Calvin’s current favorite are videos in which people walk you through how to install a ceiling fan, step by step. I have no doubt that Calvin could install a ceiling fan. He’s watched the how-to videos countless times.

Just in case you are wondering, we have a YouTube for Kids app on the iPad … now. There’s a story behind that.

So, one night I went to give Calvin his two-minute warning. Soon it would be time to say goodnight to the iPad and go to sleep. I walked in, and Calvin had fallen asleep. But the iPad was still on, and it was still streaming videos on YouTube. The video was a grown man taking a bath in a tub of ramen noodles. Seriously. Gaaaahhh.

ramen

You know how when you watch videos on YouTube and it just autoplays another video? It was playing ceiling fans videos, Calvin fell asleep, and for some reason it just moved on to this ramen man video. I have no idea why the YouTube algorithm thinks that someone watching ceiling fans wants to watch a grown man in a tub of ramen noodles. That seems wrong to me.

I grabbed the iPad, showed David, and we laughed really hard about it. Then we forgot about it.

The next night, Calvin was in bed watching fans and then I hear him say, “He’s washing.”

Nooooooooooo! I ran into the room and snatched the iPad away. It popped up again in the “previously watched” area, which Calvin relies on to find his favorite ceiling fan videos.

It’s not really a naughty video. I think it’s supposed to be funny, a parody of beauty regime videos or something. Either way, no. After that, we installed the YouTube for Kids app.

So yeah, I’ve gotten off topic from ceiling fans, but I wanted to warn you that apparently watching ceiling fan videos can be a gateway to watching ramen fetish videos.

Do you let your kids watch videos on YouTube? If so, what do they watch? Also, I’d love to hear other stories about kids’ random obsessions, whether it’s ceiling fans or grown men taking baths in ramen noodles. Let me know in the comments.

 

 

 


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Prince

Yeah, so, Prince. Ugh, 2016, why you wanna treat me so bad?

I don’t know if I can fully articulate what Prince’s music means to me. Like most people my age, “1999” and “Purple Rain” were some of the first albums I owned. I listened to them on a loop. My sister Michelle and I used to dance Prince songs all the time in our bedroom, where a Prince poster hung on the wall.

This poster.

This poster.

My mom took me to see “Purple Rain,” even though I was way too young to be seeing it.  The story was a little over my head at the time, but the music … oh the music. The music was so amazing that it convinced me that “Purple Rain” was a really good movie. Listening to his music, I felt like I was getting away with something. It was so funky, but it was naughty, too. I liked it. I liked it a lot.

Prince and his music have been in my life since I was 8 years old. One of my all-time favorite songs is “I Wanna Be Your Lover,” and it came out in 1979. I know, right? Damn. I’m old. And now I’m living in a world with no Prince, and it feels wrong.

I just love Prince, and I’m so sad that he is gone.

Last year, while I was recovering from my mastectomy, my good buddy Katie came to visit me from Washington, DC. During her visit, she introduced me to a little game she likes to play. Every once in a while she would ask her, “I wonder what Prince is doing right now?” And the answer would always be something normal, but he’s doing it in a totally Prince way — so he’s watching a basketball game but he’s soaking in a tub filled with diamonds and pearls. I’ve played this mind game with myself I don’t know how many times in the past year.

I know that Prince was a human being, but he seemed so unreal, like he was a magical creature; a unicorn. The beautiful ones, they hurt you every time. I’m sure that a million people are writing stories about Prince that are way more eloquent and thoughtful, but I felt like I needed write something, because Prince and his music meant something to me.

Thank you, Prince. RIP, you sexy mother fucker.

princegif


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The Pop Show Podcast #19: Wait, why are we talking about Chuck Norris?

Yeah, so, I don’t even know where to start about this week’s Pop Show podcast. We had a bunch of topics lined up, but then we started talking about curiously strong mints, and it just went off the rails for there, ending with us talking about Chuck Norris.

Chuck-Norris-Approves-Meme-02

There are quite a few awkward silences in this podcast, which we don’t bother edit out, because we’re keepin’ it real, you guys.

Other things discussed in this week’s podcast:

  • Anthony has thoughts and feelings about Suzy Q’s.
  • AMC announces that’s going to allow texting during movies, and then quickly backs off that statement after the Internet explodes all over it.
  • Ryan discovers the fun of toilet flushing sound effects.
  • Peter tries to start a new segment, The Pop Culture Speed Round, in which we weigh in on a solo Ben Affleck-starring “Batman” movie, the new “Dr. Strange” trailer and more.
  • And, for some reason, Anthony lists all Chuck Norris’ characters names and we discuss whether they are worthy of Chuck Norris.

You can listen to the podcast riiight here, and you can find us on iTunes riiight here.

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