The Sonia Show

Writer. Podcaster. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

The space between

5 Comments

Yeah, so, this friend of mine is going through a break-up. I feel terrible for her, because I’ve been there. I was there more than four months ago. She sounds better than I did when it first happened, but I know how much it sucks.

I told her that four things got me through the truly difficult part: My family, my friends, my break-up book and yoga.

It was like breaking a bad habit at first, but unfortunately they don’t make a patch or a gum to feed the addiction … yet. I knew he was wrong for me. I knew I was better off without him. Whenever I felt sad or lonely, I called someone or walked Homer or went to yoga or read this book titled “It’s Called a Break-Up Because It’s Broken.” (Laugh if you want, but that book really helped me. It just confirms what you already know, but it’s nice to read it in print.)

Eventually, I didn’t feel sad or lonely anymore. The ache went away. The break-up book is dusty. In fact, I’m going to put it on the kitchen table tonight, so I will remember to loan it to her. Of course, I still walk the dog a lot and go to yoga two or three times a week, but that’s because I love those things.

I am so grateful to my family and friends who helped me, who listened to me. I am forever in their debt. In a lot of ways, a huge weight has been lifted off of me. I feel relieved. Believe me, my emotional baggage plus the ex’s emotional baggage was too heavy for one girl to carry. My baggage is really of the carry-on variety. He needed to check his emotional baggage. Too bad he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. Or, to mix an airport metaphor with sports metaphor, the guy need to rub some dirt on his issues and walk it off. But I digress …

Now, I feel like I’m in a great space. I’m happy. I’m healthy. For the first time in my life, I’m on my own; truly on my own. I’m responsible for only myself. It’s my apartment, my furniture, my food in the fridge. If I want to eat pancakes for dinner and watch “Aqua Teen Hunger Force,” there is no one here to say, “Are you eating pancakes for dinner and watching a cartoon with a talking milkshake?” I believe it was the master poet Bobby Brown who said, “It’s my prerogative.”

I’m actually enjoying this time on my own. Would it be nice to have a man in my life? Sure, the right man. But, I’m happy with my life just the way it is, too. I’m dating; not a ton of dating, but I’m trying to get out there.

OK, this post went in a rather personal direction, didn’t it? Eh, it’s my blog. I can get personal. Once again, my prerogative. The point is my friend’s situation just reminded me of where I was and where I am now, and I felt it was important enough that I needed to recognize the moment on the blog. I apologize for the long-winded rambling post, but sometimes I come home from yoga a little hyped up. Maybe I will make some pancakes and watch some “Aqua Teen Hunger Force” …

Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/podcaster/mother/goober in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, watch movies, go to baseball games, kick breast cancer's ass, explore with my awesome autistic son, Calvin, say assy things, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

5 thoughts on “The space between

  1. I’m so proud of you, So, and happy that you’re happy. You deserve it 😀

  2. My you sound so…HEALTHY. Good for you.

  3. Was this post too happy and healthy sounding? I can reword it. HA!

  4. This is one of your best blogs. Very raw and honest. You should write a book. You handled yourself very well during a difficult time and I’m glad you made it to where you are. You rule. I love you sis.

  5. Really?!? One of the best? Cool deal.

    Thank you, sister, for the kind words. You are one of the people who really came through for me and gave me strength. Thanks be to you! You are my favorite sister.

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