The Sonia Show

Writer. Podcaster. Beer drinker. Movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

Open Letter to the Kardashians


Hi, we're the Kardashians, and we are famous for no good reason at all.

Hi, we're the Kardashians, and we are famous for no good reason at all.

Dear Kardashian Family:

I was just wondering … why are you famous again? Why do I keep seeing your name in the headlines? What have you done? Did you invent something? Make a great movie? Write a terrific book? Anything?

From what I have gathered, one of you made a sex tape and the rest of you are famous because you are related to that someone who made a sex tape. Have I got that right?

I care about you even less than Jon & Kate Plus 8, and I didn’t know that was possible.


The Sonia Show

Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/podcaster/mother/goober in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, watch movies, go to baseball games, kick breast cancer's ass, explore with my awesome autistic son, Calvin, say assy things, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

41 thoughts on “Open Letter to the Kardashians

  1. Are all the people in that picture seriously Kardashians? Because wow, that’s a lot of Kardashians.

  2. I have absolutely no idea who the Kardashians are. If you’re making this up, then I don’t get the joke. If you’re not, then I get the sense that I’m lucky. Either way, I hate the Kardashians. Please post a video of an epileptic cat on a Casio home electronic piano.

  3. hilarious. got the link to your blog from ‘the plan’. one word – BOOKMARKED! 🙂

  4. like Paris Hilton, they are famous because they are rich and hang out with celebrities. As far as I can tell, they’re kind of like the popular kids in high school – the only people who care about their so-called celebrity or pay attention to them are themselves and the school newspaper/paparazzi. In that vein, is anyone else annoyed by the “seensters” that keep making the headlines of the Gate?

  5. Well, they are famous for several reasons. One of the major is Robert kardashian, the lawyer in the OJ Simpson case. I guess they are just very connected to the entertainment industry, so they are bound to be a bit famous. Also, the other half of the family are the Jenners, and Bruce Jenner was an Olympic medalist. I consider those to be accomplishments worthy of fame. But your comment sounds awfully snobby, if you don’t mind my saying so. If you have no interest in them, simply don’t watch them. Live and let live.

  6. Yeah, I’m trying not to watch them but they are on every website.

    Also, those are still not valid reasons for fame. Bruce Jenner was a Olympic medalist, but the reality show isn’t really about him, now is it?

  7. Are you all jealous that you are not famous??? Grow up!

  8. Honestly, I doubt any of the Kardashian girls have done anything that was actually cover story worthy. They appear to me as a clique-ish group of high school senior girls that act as if they are better than you just because they chose cheer and you didn’t. In regards to the father, I would say its more notoriety than fame. And for the Olympian, yes that deserves notice and accolades, but why should his skill be overlooked so a bunch of giggly girls without substance can be paraded and put on display. I like to look too, but that’s what skin mags are for…

  9. Oh..Open Letter to the Kardashians

  10. ok has anyone ever really watch the show, i mean not just once then make a comment about them?

    Guys… actually i love to watch it,, when u try to watch & not being prejudice i think you’ll somehow see that its just about a family, with their own “problem”… & how they can manage, –ok dont laugh at me, but sometimes u can learn something from their life.

    welll @least its much better than other reality show like “the gastineu girls” or “Leave it to lamas”

    • What problems? Like how they have $20 million on their bank account instead of $25?

      These people are born with silver spoons in their mouth and I highly doubt have to worry about any “problems”

  11. I could not be more sick of them. I love actual celebrity gossip, so I watch E! a lot. Every other show or E! news story is about what a kardashian ate or their bowel movement. I like actual celebrity stories, and unless one of them got hit by a bus, I don’t want to hear it. Please go away! Where can I write to E!?

  12. This is irritating how this website has to make fun of The Kardashians. Really, Kim and Khloe And Courtney all do stuff that are very productive. Unlike the Sonia Show? What you sit on your computer all day, and make fun of celeberties. HAHA! You’re cool. Get a life.

  13. Give me a fuckin’ break. They are not productive, unless you consider making a sex tape and marrying men they hardly know productive.

    You just went on a stranger’s blog and defended the Kardashians. How about you get a life?

  14. These people have there own show nimrod! look it up!

  15. and F.Y.I i have never heard of the sonia show!

  16. Obviously, I’m aware that they have their own show, idiot; a show they don’t deserve.

  17. wowwww…!!! jealous much?!?!

  18. What is your problem with the kardashians???

  19. I love the kardashians! They have lives unlike some people (sonia)

    why dont you also make a sextape then maybe you’ll also get a little fame! (although i doubt it)


  20. Don’t be an idiot, Larkin. Grow up!

  21. Maybe I need to get into the business of giving bow jays, too. Who knows, maybe that will help the economy, if these fat ugly cunts did it, then I can, too!

  22. I don’t hate the Kardashians but I am sick and tired of seeing them all over the media. I used to watch their show, but soon saw that this is a sick family. They have no morals at all, and all they do is show off their expensive items. Yes they will say something like “Oh my gucci shoes” and so on. And the only reason they got the show is because Kim Kardashian did a sex tape. Which I now believe she leaked it herself to become famous. I also stopped watching the show because I could no longer stand Kim’s lies. I now respect Heidi Montag for atleast being honest about her cosmetic surgeries. But no one can plow the truth out of Kim. Even though you can see the obvious drastic changes in her body and face including her butt in pictures and footage of her. They may have alot of money BUT they don’t have: HONESTY, MODESTY, HUMBLENESS OR DIGNITY. So sad.


    I am 30 years old and act like a vain and self-obsessed 13-year old. My dream was always to become a princess, but I became an anal porn star but I still think I am a princess. My body is full of plastic surgery. My boobs, azz, lips, teeth, cheeks, nose, facelift etc. are all bought and paid for, courtesy of a plastic surgeon. The reason why my hair is beautiful is because its fake. I was also jealous of Paris Hilton and put out a SEX TAPE because she did. I idolized Paris Hilton. I used to hang on her like a koala bear all the time, to get my picture taken by the paparazzi. Until 2007 I did cocaine. I know there are pictures as proof, but I will deny it forever.

    My pimp mother, Kris, fvcked the pool boy while my father, Robert Kardashian, was at work. He was one of the lawyers that helped keep OJ Simpson out of jail after he killed Ron Goldman and his ex-wife Nicole. Anyway, the result was my pathetic half gorilla sister Khloe, who is a whore just like me. Whenever my mouth is moving I am lying, as I am INCAPABLE of telling the truth about anything. I pretend that if I lie about things people will eventually believe it. The way I walk, talk, and laugh is fake; and if you look into my eyes you can even see that my soul is fake. I have no personality at all!

    Although I pretended to be upset by the sex tape, I was the one that sent it to Vivid Entertainment, and they paid me $5 million to expose my nasty self. Ray J had nothing to do with the leaked sex tape. I tricked him into making a porn film with me for distribution. My former publicist, Jonathan Jaxson, knows what happened! I am just waiting for him, and many more, to come out and reveal how I really am.
    I exploit my FAKE body all of the time because I lack intelligence, class, dignity, self-respect, elegance, and morals. I really am a very dirty woman.

    My ex husband Damon Thomas whom I married at the age of 19 in Las Vegas publicly called me: untalented, a trashy whore, desperate, a plastic surgery addict, a backstabber (to my family), and a cheater. I have no real friends because I have misused and stepped on everybody that has come my way for fame. I am currently using social medias to snake my way in to other celebrity’s lives for friendship and publicity. I show up like a diva to all kind of award shows that I have NO business at all to attend. The only award show I should attend is the AVN. I call the paparazzi myself. I learned that trick from Paris Hilton, but I’m too cheap to buy their lunch like she does.

    I have NO talent what so ever. I was thrown off Dancing with the Stars on the second week. I made a work out video that clearly shows I have never worked out in my life. I did a test shoot for Playboy, but after seeing the proofs they refuse to acknowledge me. I got a Razzie for my horrendous performance in the parody Disaster Movie. I should have gotten one for my sextape as well. My song JAM, I have no words for. It is the most annoying and pitiful song in history. I sing like an unmusical, tone deaf, four year old who wants a cookie from Grandma. Anybody who don’t like me for the rotten and lying whore that I am I call haters or jealous!

    We, the Kardashians, call each other dolls, and I alone have tainted the pussycat dolls by heisting their concept. I pretend that I care about others, but I could not care less. I only care about myself. I tried to fvck over children by selling them an insane debit Master Card with predatory fees. It was unfortunately taken off the market after 1 week under threat of legal action from several states. Thankfully I found a new way to rip off the kids with glam silly bandz. Over weight children should skip normal diet & exercise and do shady diet pills or lipo-suction like me.

    I Stole $120k from Ray J and Brandy’s mother, Sonja Norwood, credit card. After being busted I paid her back with the money I got from the sex tape I made with her son. That’s the circle life, Mrs. Norwood. The clothes at Dash are pure knock offs from top brands and designers. I don’t even know how to sew on a button or sketch anything. But I call myself a fashion designer. The logo on my perfumes is a complete rip of from Korcula creator Lindley Bertin.

    For World AIDS Day I went off social medias until my fans had raised $1M.
    I was confident that within 12 hours I would be back. Seven days later I had to be bailed out by a billionaire who wanted to spare me shame. This is how much my «fans» value and missed me.

    I have never been single because I am to scared to spend time with myself. I am looking very much forward to the day my grand children sits on my lap and ask me if I am an anal porn star because that’s what everybody in kindergarten will say.
    I also love to flaunt my gigantic fake hippo azz. It’s my calling card for any rich Black man that wants to ram my azz hard and move on! Evan Ross, Marquis Houston, Scott Storch, Fabolous, The Game, Nick Cannon, Nick Lachey, Tyson Beckford, William ‘Ray J’ Norwood, Reggie Bush, Christiano, Chengo (The Bodyguard is one of my favorite movies ever) Miles Austin, Gabriel Aubry (only because everybody said I was only into black guys) Kanye West, and soon Kris Humpries; are just a FEW of the men that have ALL fvcked, pissed in my mouth, AND dumped me. They know that I am trash and that brings their reputations down to the gutter with mine. I will fvck anyone for publicity. I have had many STDs, but the only one I have now is herpes (got that from Paris too). I am pathetic, plastic, and terribly insecure.

    I am a national and international joke, and gave out my own ANAL/PISS SEX TAPE to get famous. I am a human toilet. I am clearly a very sick human being and I’m 100% shameless. I am the filthiest famewhore in the whole wide world!

    I am Kim Kardashian… Superstar


  25. Your description of yourself is exactly as shallow as you’re accusing the Kardashian’s of being. You like to talk about TV? Eavesdrop on stranger’s conversations? How very deep of you.

  26. I never claimed to be deep, bastion; however, if I’m really as shallow as you say, then I would love the Kardashians and their ridiculous reality shows.

  27. Pingback: Whatever happened to Paris Hilton? | The Sonia Show

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