The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

Bride and prejudice


Yeah, so, I am definitely not a bridezilla.

It’s less than two months until our wedding, and people have been asking a lot of questions — most of which I have no answer for, because that question never occurred to me.

Here comes the bride ...

Even though I have worn an ugly bridesmaid dress in countless weddings (OK, six or seven), and even though I have stuffed myself with butter cream frosting at more weddings than should be legally allowed, I am still completely clueless about planning my own wedding. So when people ask me, “How long is dinner going to be served before you start the dancing?” and “Have you thought about how you want the day to flow?” I look at them blankly.

“Ummm, not really.”

I figure we’ve got the venue; we’ve got the food; we’ve got the cake; we’ve got the booze; we’ve got music; we’re all set, right? Centerpieces, decorating, flowers: That’s just extra stuff. All I want is to marry David.

I’ve got my dress. I’ve got my shoes. Let’s get married.

I’m not getting my hair done. I’m not even getting my make-up done. My biggest concern has been what color lipstick I’m going to wear. And yes, I will be rockin’ the glasses on my wedding day.

Don’t mistake my low-key nature as not caring about the wedding. Of course, I care! I like to think I’m just not sweatin’ the small stuff. Most important fact – the thing I always try to remember during all this planning – is David and I are getting hitched. We want to celebrate gettin’ hitched, so there will be food, booze and music. Really, that’s all people need to have a good time, isn’t it? (For the record: We are laid back people, but we are not casual. If someone shows up to the wedding to sweatpants or a hoodie, I will flip out and turned it a bridezilla before your very eyes. Consider yourself warned.)

I know a wedding is a big deal, a huge deal, and our little wedding has turned into a rather large affair; bigger than we ever thought, because we want to share it with everyone. I always imagined I would be getting married at one of those drive-thru chapels in Reno, marrying some dude I met at the roulette table because I think he’s lucky. I never envisioned wearing a wedding dress and having The Man walk me down the aisle to marry the love of my life.

But really, all the little details, ultimately, they are not important. The important part is the people.

Some friends have said I’m just not a wedding person. In fact, a coworker actually referred to me as “anti-wedding.” I’m not sure that’s accurate. I think I’m just not a typical bride, and I’m not a wedding details person. There are plenty of brides out there that are, and hey, that’s great for them. I, however, am not.

One day, after being asked many questions that I didn’t know the answer to about the wedding, I said to David in a panic, “I haven’t thought about anything for our wedding. How long should dinner be? How is the day going to flow? Should we put candles on the tables? I haven’t thought about any of this stuff. I’m ruining our wedding.”

“Don’t worry. I’ve thought about that stuff,” David said. “Our wedding is going to be fun.”

So, yeah, now David is the one who is debating what kind of candles are going to be on the table. He hasn’t turned into a groomzilla … yet. Dun dun dun.


Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/podcaster/mother/goober in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, go on adventures with my mighty, mighty good man David and my awesome autistic son, Calvin, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

8 thoughts on “Bride and prejudice

  1. Honestly, people spend so many days and so much cash on stuff like flowers that no one is going to remember, and they end up in petty arguments with their mate — who cares? It’s a classy party for an awesome occasion.

    Just make sure the music is rad.

  2. I’ll be wearing my Sweatuxedo™.

    (Sweatuxedo™ is a registered trademark of Aaron Brand Casual Formal Wear, Inc. a subsidiary of Aaron Globocorp, Inc. Use of the Sweatuxedo™ name is used with permission by Aaron Brand Casual Formal Wear, Inc. and Aaron Globocorp, Inc.)

  3. I totally relate. Honestly Sonia, you can’t possibly be more clueless than I was about wedding planning stuff.
    I got lucky and had a mom who cared a little more about that stuff, or at least had a clue about how to make some of it happen. If David can do it, you’re a lucky damn woman! =)

  4. and people wonder why we’re doing a small ceremony.

  5. Sonia, I swear you get more awesome everyday. I love your stories! David must be a fabulous guy to have snagged such a great woman, and we CAN’T WAIT to see you get hitched (and also to meet this David character). Mazel Tov!

  6. seriously, Right?
    I’m definitely more interested in *being* married than *getting* married.

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