The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

Using the restroom is not rocket science, people

10 Comments

Yeah, so, some of the women in my office have no idea how to properly use a restroom.

I wish I was joking. Apparently, there are grown women who don’t know how to behave in a public restroom. It’s the only explanation. On a daily basis I walk into our office’s ladies restroom to two stalls with unflushed toilets and/or piss on the seats.

Seriously, ladies, using the restroom isn’t that difficult. You don’t need a college degree. You go into the stall. You put a paper toilet seat cover down on the bowl. You sit down. You do your business. You wipe. You put the toilet paper and the toilet seat cover in the bowl. You flush. You make sure it flushes. You walk out of the stall to the sink. You wash your hands. You dry your hands. You exit the restroom. Ta-dah! It’s so easy, a child can do it!

Apparently, some women in this office go into the stall, piss all over the toilet seat and then run out of the restroom without a care in the world. I’m going to go out on a limb and assume they don’t wash their hands. If you make a mess, clean it up. It’s called “common courtesy.” You should try it sometime.

Also, along with the dimwits who can’t seem figure out how to use a toilet, some of my coworkers like to use and/or hang out in the restroom while they talk on their cell phones.

First of all, ewww. I don’t want to talk to anyone while they are using the restroom. Second, I don’t want to talk to someone who is hanging out in a restroom.

At first I used to just turn around and leave the restroom when someone was in there talking on their cell phone. But now, fuck that! I just go about my business. Sorry but your caller is going to listen to me pee. If you don’t like it, then I suggest you not talk on your cell phone in the restroom like a normal person.

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Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/mocker/goober/mother in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, podcast, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

10 thoughts on “Using the restroom is not rocket science, people

  1. Well done. We have a creepy lady in my office who talks to HERSELF in the restroom. Not sure which is worse — talking to me or creeping me because you’re talking to yourself.

  2. I used our other restroom today because the pissed-upon restroom you blog about was filled with chatty ladies TWICE when I attempted to use it. I don’t know which bathroom is worse. The one in the press room at least didn’t have a puddle around the toilet like last time.

    Also, I’ve definitely seen more than pee on the toilets in our restroom. I think some of our co-workers were raised by wolves.

    • Luckily, you and I are going to be moving to a different part of the building with all new restrooms very soon. There will be a smaller group of people using those restrooms and maybe we won’t have this problem … unless you are the one doing making the mess … [cue dramatic music]

  3. I started noticing this years ago, when I went back to college. I’ve had women tell me that they don’t want to touch anything in the public toilet . . . so they don’t use toilet covers, they just try to aim in the bowl without touching the toilet seat. Of course, they miss. And then they’re afraid to flush — you know, germs. So they leave this piss-covered seat without flushing. I see it so often nowadays I can’t believe I grew up in an era where, 1) It just didn’t happen, and 2) People weren’t so friggin’ terrified of germs. Maybe it’s a generation of people not allowed to play in the dirt, I don’t know. But they’re inability to use the toilet properly, as you say, then becomes a health hazard and disgusting thing for the rest of us.

  4. I could almost understand that behavior if it was a port-a-potty or a divey bar. This is an office. We have to be there five days a week, and we need to work together to keep the restrooms usable.

  5. The cell phone in the bathroom thing has been a peeve of mine for a while. For crying out loud, just tell your precious caller you need to call them back. Just like you do when you’re driving. Oh, wait…

  6. I was not aware piss on the toilet had become a problem for the ladies. Obviously the male species has been dealing with this problem ever since the invention of the toilet. Regardless, gross.

  7. i like velvet seat covers because the texture is very special and i find it easy to clean -.”

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