The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

With a screen name like that, he’s sure to score with the ladies


Yeah, so, a friend of mine is on an online dating site. Today, she received her matches, and the following conversation ensued:

My friend: “OKCupid sent me my three latest matches, and the top one is named Analsexmaster.”

Me: “I hope you are not going to message him. That is definitely someone you don’t take home to mother.”

My friend: “I’m wondering if it’s some kind of joke. It’s hard to imagine someone would actually choose that name. Also, it doesn’t seem that hard to master.”

Me: “Nice choice of name. Chicks are all about anal. Clearly, he’s looking for a serious, long-term relationship.”

My friend: “I hate dating guys who haven’t mastered anal sex. It’s like dating someone who hasn’t learned to ride a two-wheeler, or someone who hasn’t mastered their right from left.
Anal sex mastery is really one of the fundamentals of dating: Pay on the first date, ask open-ended questions, master anal sex.”

Me: “It’s really just polite.”


Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/mocker/goober/mother in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, podcast, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

6 thoughts on “With a screen name like that, he’s sure to score with the ladies

  1. I couldn’t come up with any other name. I guess I could have gone with Usernamewritersblock, but it really wouldn’t show off my best feature.

    I’m still waiting for that message….

  2. I think this post just reaffirmed my friend’s decision today to ditch OKCupid for

  3. “Also, it doesn’t seem that hard to master.”


  4. Some people are really good at baiting a hook.

  5. And for all the men out there, I offer my usual advice: “Shaving your balls is just good manners.”

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