The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

Adventures in babysitting

5 Comments

Yeah, so, David and I had a date night planned for Saturday night.

Originally, we were going to take out David’s friend Joe for his birthday, but then the plans changed to Thursday, so then we planned a date night for Saturday night. We were going to grab some dinner and then see “Micmacs” at the Opera Plaza.

But the plans changed after I got an e-mail from my sister. “Hey, Tony is going to review the Rihanna concert. I want to go see Rihanna! Perhaps you would like to spend some time with your nieces. [hint hint]”

Michelle and Tony have three girls: two 8-year-olds and a 2-year-old. It’s not like her and her husband get to go out on date nights all the time like, well, me and my man. Sometimes I will detail a weekend to her, and she will say, “Did you hear that Tony? They just felt like going out to brunch, so they just went. Ahh, the life of the married couple with no children.”

How do you say no when she asks you to help a sister out? So, David and I delayed our date night and headed out to Concord.

David immediately endeared himself to the kids by watching Mario cartoons and different animated versions of that crapsterpiece “Tik Tok” on YouTube, including some seizure-inducing version by The Chipmunks. That reminds me … where are my birth control pills?

YouTube = babysitting magic.

After watching all those horrible, errr, I mean kid-friendly videos, Lorelei and Olivia were smitten with David, so they spent most of the evening taking turns snuggling with him on the couch while watching the “Harry Potter” marathon on ABC Family.

David and Lorelei watching Harry Potter.

I was jealous. I usually like to snuggle with David on the couch while watching the “Hairy Potter” marathon on Cinemax After Dark, but oh well. I just found a nice spot and got all Cozy.

This is Cozy.

It was so mellow and quiet that it took me a while to realize the baby wasn’t in the room with us, but eventually I found her.

Dun.

Dun.

DUUUUUN!

She passed out in the hallway … just like her daddy does. Awwwww.

I was able to get her into bed, but it didn’t last long. Eventually, she started crying. She needed a diaper change. Luckily for everyone involved, it was just a piss-soaked diaper. The alternative results in me gagging and vomiting on the baby. True story.

So, with Olivia’s help, I changed Lucy’s diaper. Even with Olivia’s help, I still managed to put the diaper on backwards. Nicely done, 39-year-old woman with no kids.

As long-time readers of The Sonia Show know, Michelle, Lorelei and I used to all live together. I was kinda like a second mom to Lorelei for the first six years or so of her life, before Tony and his daughter Olivia moved in. When I was a second mom, I sometimes felt like I had to crack the whip on Lorelei and get strict with her. BUT NOW, we don’t live together anymore, and I can finally be the fun, cool aunt.

Lorelei and Olivia: “Can we have another cupcake?”

Me: “Hell yeah, you can have another cupcake!”

Lorelei and Olivia: “Can we stay up until the movie is over?”

Me: “Fuck yeah! Stay up until five minutes before your parents get home.”

Yeah, I know what you are thinking. And yes, I’m going to be a great mom.

Oh, and this happened, too.

"You blockhead, Homer."

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Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/mocker/goober/mother in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, podcast, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

5 thoughts on “Adventures in babysitting

  1. haha, pretty funny, especially love the “dun, dun, duunnnnn!” Good job, Aunt Sonia!

  2. Just to set the record straight, I’m usually much closer to bed when I pass out.

  3. The kids were stoked to have Aunt Sonia and Uncle David over. They love you! Thank you for postponing your date night to accommodate ours. It was nice to get out.

    P.S. Rihanna is a lazy performer. I was a fan before seeing her in concert. Sexy clothes, dancers, props and flashing lights can’t cover up a lazy performance. Bummer.

  4. OMG that is so true about Lucy. She goes and goes til she drops. too cute!. So how many babies do you and David want? I have to say they are alot of work, but worth it. Love Mom

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