The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

Worst. Vegetarian. EVER!

10 Comments

Yeah, so, last night I got so drunk that I forgot I was a vegetarian.

True story.

A gaggle of us went dancing at 111 Minna for my sister Michelle’s birthday. It was 80s night. We’re old. We like to dance to songs from our younger years to remind of us of that fact.

Look Ma, no rhythm.

I had already had a few glasses of wine when I showed up to the club, after spending the day with a school of ladies working on little projects for Tiff and Dan’s wedding next weekend. I had, probably, two more glasses of wine at the club. Then I stole Tony’s beer … then I asked him to buy me another one. Yeah, I’m fun to hang with.

At one point, good buddy Amanda and I were dancing to “Push It” on stage. I can only imagine what the crowd was thinking. “Damn, that girl has no rhythm. Is she dancing to a different song in her head? Oh wait, she’s just 39 and wasted at an 80s night.”

By 1:30 we were danced out. At this point I was way drunker than I thought. Luckily, Amanda and her awesome man Brock took pity on me. She drove my drunk ass home in my car while he followed in their car. After they left, I drunkenly took Homer for a walk. Then, for some reason, I decided that I was going to eat David’s leftover sloppy joes while watching “Losing It with Jillian.”

Two things are wrong with this scenario:

1) I’m a vegetarian, and I’m pretty sure sloppy joes are meat.

2) “Losing It” is a show about healthy eating and exercise. You probably shouldn’t watch it while drunkenly eating sloppy joes at 2 a.m.

Seriously, it did not occur to me to not eat the sloppy joes. I didn’t even hesitate. I didn’t pause for a second and say, “I’m a vegetarian, but I’m going to fall off the wagon and eat these delicious sloppy joes.” I really did forget I am a vegetarian. I just ate them while watching fat people exercise. It wasn’t until this morning that I realized I had consumed a plate o’ meat.

I can feel your judgment.

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Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/mocker/goober/mother in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, podcast, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

10 thoughts on “Worst. Vegetarian. EVER!

  1. Don’t beat yourself too much, lady. That IS a bummer but I suspect you also have P.A.D.S. (post-alcohol depression syndrome). That pic of you and your sis is a d o r a b l e.

  2. hilarious! i am glad you had such a good time!

  3. you liked it. didn’t you?

    • Of course. I like sloppy joes. I’m not made of stone, people.

      I would like to point out that the sloppy joes were made of organic, hormone free ground turkey. It’s still meat, though.

  4. SOUNDS LIKE IT WASN’T SO BAD FOR YOU TO EAT THEM. IT WAS ORGANIC AND HORMONE FREE. MAYBE YOUR BODY WON’T EVEN NOTICE THAT YOU DID THAT, BESIDES IT WAS PROBABLY IN RECOVERY MODE….LOVE MOM

  5. You were a meat eater for maybe 10 minutes. And of course you liked it. If meat was not so tasty, everyone would be a vegetarian. Just like me.

  6. Meat! I love animals too … they’re delicious!

  7. Honey! You should join us for Testarossa Monday at Trigger sometime!

    We Brain Fart with Pollo Del Mar at 8:00 at the Lookout, and if we’re still wired,we shuffle down the block for a little 80s lovin’ at 10:00.

    And we’re 39 too. For another 30 days.

  8. Sloppy joe, slop sloppy joe yeah!

  9. Pingback: How can you tell if someone is a vegan? They write a blog post about it. | The Sonia Show

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