Yeah, so, last night I got so drunk that I forgot I was a vegetarian.
A gaggle of us went dancing at 111 Minna for my sister Michelle’s birthday. It was 80s night. We’re old. We like to dance to songs from our younger years to remind of us of that fact.
I had already had a few glasses of wine when I showed up to the club, after spending the day with a school of ladies working on little projects for Tiff and Dan’s wedding next weekend. I had, probably, two more glasses of wine at the club. Then I stole Tony’s beer … then I asked him to buy me another one. Yeah, I’m fun to hang with.
At one point, good buddy Amanda and I were dancing to “Push It” on stage. I can only imagine what the crowd was thinking. “Damn, that girl has no rhythm. Is she dancing to a different song in her head? Oh wait, she’s just 39 and wasted at an 80s night.”
By 1:30 we were danced out. At this point I was way drunker than I thought. Luckily, Amanda and her awesome man Brock took pity on me. She drove my drunk ass home in my car while he followed in their car. After they left, I drunkenly took Homer for a walk. Then, for some reason, I decided that I was going to eat David’s leftover sloppy joes while watching “Losing It with Jillian.”
Two things are wrong with this scenario:
1) I’m a vegetarian, and I’m pretty sure sloppy joes are meat.
2) “Losing It” is a show about healthy eating and exercise. You probably shouldn’t watch it while drunkenly eating sloppy joes at 2 a.m.
Seriously, it did not occur to me to not eat the sloppy joes. I didn’t even hesitate. I didn’t pause for a second and say, “I’m a vegetarian, but I’m going to fall off the wagon and eat these delicious sloppy joes.” I really did forget I am a vegetarian. I just ate them while watching fat people exercise. It wasn’t until this morning that I realized I had consumed a plate o’ meat.
I can feel your judgment.