The Sonia Show

Writer. Podcaster. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

Dude, wash your car


Yeah, so, I’m dirty.

I’m unclean. I’m filthy. I’m naughty. I’m disgusting.

I don’t wash my car.

Look at it …

Horrifying, right? The car looks like it went to Burning Man.

I own a 2007 Saturn ION, and I have never washed it. Sure, I take it in for its maintenance, and they wash the car. But, I have never washed it myself. Before the 2007 Saturn, I had another Saturn. I didn’t wash that one either. And before that? Another Saturn that I didn’t wash. In fact, I think the last time I washed a car Will Smith was still known as the Fresh Prince.

The fact that I don’t wash my car is a big deal to my family. For some reason, they are all obsessed with clean cars. It’s weird. Growing up, I remember washing The Man’s truck once a week. No joke. The Man, my brother, my mom, even my sister are all about clean cars. They even go as far as to vacuum them out. While I’m more of the “It’s just car. I drive it. I don’t eat off it. Who cares?” mindset. It’s just more proof that I am adopted.

Whenever I go to my parents house for dinner, they shake their heads in disappointment when they see my car.

Mom: “Sonia, you need to wash your car.”
Me: “Yeah, I’ll get right on that.”
Mom: [Sigh] “Maybe you could at least hose it off.”
Me: “That’s what she said.”
Mom: “What?”
Me: “Don’t judge me.”

I think not washing the car is an effective deterrent for break-ins. “Look at that piece of shit. I’m sure there’s nothing good in there. Let’s hit the clean one next to it.”

Plus, I’m too busy to wash the car. I have TV to watch, wine to drink and yoga classes to attend.

I just don’t think a clean car is a priority.

Oh, also, I’m lazy.


Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/podcaster/mother/goober in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, go on adventures with my mighty, mighty good man David and my awesome autistic son, Calvin, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

4 thoughts on “Dude, wash your car

  1. HA! I feel you (?), I hate washing my car, however I do manage to do it every 6 months or so.

  2. Suburban folks wash their cars in their driveways. What are city people supposed to do? Where is this “hose” they speak of?

  3. Pingback: That new car smell | The Sonia Show

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