Yeah, so, David is going to be traveling a lot for work again starting next week.
David has a got a cool job , and I really wish I could go with him on business trips, but I’m already in vacation debt at work. Stupid breast cancer surgeries! Curses!
Of course, while David is away, I slip into some questionable behavior. Here’s a list of things I do while David is out of town:
- I order chick flicks On Demand. [Prepare to be ordered, “Going the Distance.”]
- I eat edamame for dinner.
- I have two-way conversations with Homer.
- I watch more TV than should be legally allowed. [“Breaking Bad” season 2 … we will be together soon.]
- I drink a lot of wine and go to bed embarrassingly early.
- I let Homer sleep in the bed.
- I practice the drums for my imaginary band, Cock Punch.
- I pick fights with tea partiers on Twitter.
- I friend people on Facebook I don’t like and then I unfriend them.
- I review my matches for free on Match.com.
- I organize my mix tape collection.
- I go through all his stuff looking for clues.
- I cut out a picture of David’s face, and I put it on a volleyball to keep me company.