Yeah, so, this is an IM exchange between my sister and me:
Me: A friend of mine spent her birthday today volunteering at a shelter and feeding the homeless. I step over the homeless to go to a nice restaurant on my birthday. She’s getting into heaven. Me? Not so much.
Michelle: It’s important to appreciate what you have. I should do something like that.
Me: You know, I gave a lot of money to breast cancer organizations this year and the SPCA.
Michelle: See? You are a good person.
Me: Not really. I just want them to cure breast cancer so if I get it again I’ll be OK. Purely selfish.