The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.



Yeah, so, around this time of year I’m always reminded about this running joke some of us had when I worked at The Examiner.

I was working as the Arts & Entertainment Editor (and Food and Travel and Life & Style, you get the idea), and I was laying out a page about turducken, which is chicken stuffed in a duck which is then stuffed in a turkey. I have never had it, but that’s just because it sounds horribly gross.

I wrote this headline for that story that I was particularly proud of: “Birds of a Feather Cooked Together.” And I took my printed out page to Master P (also known by me as P Biddy but known by everyone else as Peter Brown) so he could proof it for me.

Master P: “Who eats this?”
Me: “Oh, I hear [our boss] has it every year on Thanksgiving, but he stuffs the chicken with chewing tobacco first.”
Master P: “Ah yes, chewducken.”

[Side note: Our boss chewed tobacco all the time in the office. You would be sitting in a meeting with him, and he would be spitting into a cup. He also had a crazy wandering eye, which really completed the whole crazy asshole persona he had going on. I wouldn’t have been surprised to walk into his office and find his stroking a cat on his lap while he plans world domination.]

Chewducken became a running joke in the office.

“What are you eating? It smells good.”

“How was your date?”
“Really good. The restaurant was really nice. I had the chewducken.”

A few months later, this photo popped up on the Associated Press wire:

I can't believe I ate the whole thing.

Some python thought he’d hit the jackpot and ate an alligator. I don’t remember where this happened, but I’m going to assume it was in this country: Only an American snake could be so gluttonous. Master P called me over to his cube to show me the photo.

Me: “Now, shove that thing into a turkey and I think you are on to something.”
Master P: “Mmmm, tursnaketor.”

Then tursnaketor turned into the running office joke, along with various incarnations, because everything is funny when you shove it in a turkey.

Me: “Who wants to come over for dinner tonight? I’m making turduckolsen: You take the Olsen Twins and shove them in a duck and shove that into a turkey.”

Master P: “No thanks, Sonia. We are having turlohton at my place: Turkey stuffed inside Lindsay Lohan stuffed inside Paris Hilton.”

A few years later, I was sharing this story with my friend Holly and she said, “You know if you shoved a fish inside a chicken and shoved that chicken into duck and then the duck into the turkey, you’d have turfucken.”

I was so pissed I didn’t think of that joke first.


Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/podcaster/mother/goober in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, go on adventures with my mighty, mighty good man David and my awesome autistic son, Calvin, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

6 thoughts on “Chewducken!

  1. I think this is your best post ever. 🙂

  2. Ah good times. Good times indeed. I showed this to my wife who was wondering what the heck we were talking about. She lol’d many times. As did I.

  3. “Everything is funny when you shove it in a turkey.” I thought so, too, but those jerkfaces at PETA and the Pleasanton Police Department sure didn’t agree. The doctor at the clinic frowned, too, but hey, as long as he writes the antibiotics prescription I’m good. A weekend in the county jail and a protest at what would soon be my former place of work was worth it, too. That turkey was totally hot.

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