The Sonia Show

Writer. Podcaster. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

The Westboro Baptist Church is going to hell


Yeah, so, I’m really happy that mighty, mighty good man David and I are leaving for Paris in a few weeks for our long-awaited honeymoon, because things around here are getting pretty bad.

First of all, the biggest assholes on the planet, also known as the Westboro Baptist Church, are planning to protest at Elizabeth Edwards’ funeral. I’m sure you’ve heard, Elizabeth Edwards lost her battle with breast cancer this week, and the biggest assholes on the planet will be there to yell hateful things at mourners, including her two young children ages 12 and 10. Why? Because she said the Earth isn’t flat and it revolves around the Sun – does it really matter anymore?

The Westboro Baptist Church is filled with people who have no soul, no heart, no empathy. They are evil. And they are all gay. Yes, all of them! They are all self-hating gays. OK, maybe not all of them but definitely ringleader Fred Phelps. When Fred Phelps dies someone is going to find his big, gay porn stash. Search your feelings, you know it to be true.

Yes, yes, I know these hate-mongers have a right to protest. But, just because they have a right to do it doesn’t mean they should do it.

Thankfully, there is a counter protest planned, which is always entertaining. Counter protesters make the best signs.

Oh, and, the second biggest assholes on the planet, also known as the Republican Party, blocked a vote on “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Why? Good question. I have no idea why. Our country is engaged in combat in multiple countries and they want to give intelligent soldiers the boot because they like to knock boots with people of the same sex? Are they afraid that the gays will make the military too fabulous? Come on! I can’t believe it’s almost 2011 and gays still cannot get legally married and can’t serve openly in the military. Seriously, the country should be ashamed on itself. We should be embarrassed.

Get your shit together, America! I’m going to France to drink wine and eat cheese, and then I’m off to Belgium to stuff my face with waffles and drink beer. When I get back you better have this all sorted out!

Sorry to get all ranty, but I get pissed off, dammit! Let me make it up to you. Here’s a cute picture of Homer that David took with his new camera:

One more thing, the latest installment of my Assignment X column, The Dork Side, is up. This week I air my Festivus grievances, including:

George Lucas, please stop messin’ with the original STAR WARS trilogy (really, 3-D re-releases!) It was fine just the way it was. By the time you are finished with it, it’s going to be the Joan Rivers of movies.


It’s time for JERSEY SHORE to go away now, please. Do the right thing, MTV. (By the way, did you you know MTV is putting Snooki in the ball in Times Square for New Year’s Eve? Snooki is used to having balls inside of her so this is a serious change for her.)

Yeah, you’re welcome for the imagery.

Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/podcaster/mother/goober in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, watch old movies, go to baseball games, kick breast cancer's ass, explore with my mighty, mighty good man David and my awesome autistic son, Calvin, participate in general jackass-ery, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

6 thoughts on “The Westboro Baptist Church is going to hell

  1. Well they’re not Catholic so they were going to hell already.

  2. Sonia – come to the Netherlands! People can serve openly gay and get gayly married, or not at all, they can sign a contract and they are good to go with the same benefits as married couples and everyone is insured too! Maybe someday our country will sort it out. It works here.
    Enjoy your honeymoon on this side of the globe. Look forward to your European posts. – Susan

  3. Who the hell does that Elizabeth Edwards think she is? Dying of all that cancer…

    WBB threatened to picket when a soldier who was killed in Iraq was brought home to the airport here. The Freedom Riders came out to help hold them off but they never showed. Pussies.

  4. @Susan: Sometimes David and I “joke” about moving to Vancouver because things here are getting so crazy.

    @Marie: I hate the Westboro Baptist Church so much! I fuckin’ love the counter protesters. They are my favorite!

  5. love the post!

    while I understand you calling the WBC people gay, did you think of the fact that you are insulting gay people when you do that? why not call them lame? or stupid? or is that insutlting lame and stupid people? just a thought.

  6. Well, they are lame and stupid, but I called them gay because I suspect they are self-hating gays. You know, the whole “Thoust protest too much.” I don’t mean it in a negative sense AT ALL.

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