Yeah, so, I don’t know jack about art.
I know you are shocked.
It’s not that I don’t like art. I’m not made of stone. I think art is very interesting and beautiful and all that shit, but I don’t know anything about different styles, who paints what, blah, blah, blah. David does. He’s smart. Unfortunately for him he married a woman whose knowledge of art is only from movie biopics: “I know who Jackson Pollack is. I saw that movie with Ed Harris.”
So, yeah, there is a massive museum in Paris. Perhaps you’ve heard of it. It’s called the Louvre, and it’s ginormous. It has more than 35,000 pieces in it, and it’s about six city blocks long and four stories high. It’s insane.
You couldn’t possibly see everything in the Louvre in one day. We went to the museum twice. The first visit was really short. It was almost closing time, so it was just an hour or so. The second time we spent five hours walking the halls. We weren’t there very long before I noticed a trend. Artists really like to paint Jesus (specifically the crucifixion), the Virgin Mary, boobs and babies. Well, not just babies. Creepy babies.
All the babies in the paintings had really creepy faces. I don’t know what the deal was. Could artists not get the faces right on babies; or, did babies just look really creepy back then?
I became kinda obsessed with the creepy babies, and I started taking photos of them. Serious art lovers were standing around a painting, thinking about what it’s trying to say and how it makes them feel. and I just walk up with my camera, “Look, David, another creepy baby. [click]”
But my assy behavior was all for you, my tens of readers. Here’s a slideshow of some creepy babies. Click this creepy baby photo to see them all. Warning: This slideshow may cause nightmares, lung badgers and birth defects.