The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

FAQs: The pregnancy edition

11 Comments

Yeah, so, I get asked a lot of questions.

Whether I’m at a party, out with friends or having dinner with the family, I get asked a lot of questions about the pregnancy, the baby and so on. I don’t mind, really. I’m flattered that people are interested enough to ask.

I know that you, my dear readers, probably have questions, too. Well, I am going to answer the most frequently asked questions right here.

Q: How are you feeling?

A: Pretty good. For about six weeks, I had constant baby poisoning, which  feels like a never-ending hangover. But that’s over these days. I have some random aches, and I get super exhausted at night, but hey, who doesn’t?

Q: How far along are you now?

A: I’m 15 weeks, which I like to call four months.

Q: When are you due?

A: Oct. 5, which is three days after my birthday. Yep, for the rest of my life this little spawn is going to be stealing my birthday thunder. Dammit!

Q: Do you want a boy or a girl?

A: David wants a boy. When asked, he might give the standard, “Oh, I don’t care as long as it’s healthy” answer, but he really wants a boy. My entire family wants a boy. My sister has two girls. They want a boy. Me? I hope it’s both.

Q: Are you going to find out the sex of the baby?

Yes, absolutely! In fact, we are having an ultrasound at the end of the month that might tell us. I know a lot of couples like to wait because they “want to be surprised.” This always makes me laugh. It’s a boy or a it’s a girl. Surprise! A real surprise would be if it’s both, right? I don’t really understand the difference between finding out during an ultrasound or finding out at birth. Wouldn’t you be happy with the result either way? Also, if you know earlier you can get more personalized gifts, decorate accordingly, etc.

Hey, to each their own, but I still can’t wrap my brain around it.

Q: You don’t seem very happy. Aren’t you happy about the baby?

Apparently, I’m not acting the way that soon-to-be moms should act. I was accused of something similar when I was engaged to be married. I wasn’t acting bride-y enough.

Of course I’m happy! I am very happy. I can’t wait to meet this little critter. I already love this lil’ spawn, and I’m doing everything I can to make sure that he or she will be born healthy. David and I will do everything to raise a happy human being, who will absolutely not be a burden on society.

But have I loved being pregnant? So far, not so much, but it’s getting better. The first trimester was rough, but the second is going well. You know, it’s difficult to just hand over your body to something else for nine months. It’s weird, and it’s emotional. It’s emotionally more taxing than I thought it would be. When I talk about it with people I probably sometimes come across as an unfeeling asshole. I’m not a monster, but if I was it would be one of those cuddly ones from “Monsters, Inc.”

My body being out of my control is giving me breast cancer recovery flashbacks. It’s hard to explain to people. In fact, I don’t really like explaining it to people at parties, at family functions, etc., because I don’t like to cry in public unless I can blame it on alcohol, which I can’t do these days. Being all but confined to the couch for six weeks due to the baby poisoning, while David took care of me, reminded me of all my surgeries, all that anxiety, all those emotions. Things were out of my control. It’s scary. And while this pregnancy is a happy thing, it’s still out of my control and it brings up these old feelings. Does that make sense at all?

Also, getting bigger isn’t exactly doing wonders for my self esteem.

But, yes, I’m happy about the baby. I repeat, I’m very, very happy.

Let’s take another question before I get choked up …

Q: Have you had any weird food cravings yet?

Not yet. There was a day that I would have killed a man for a milkshake, but that’s not weird. I think most days I would kill a man for a milkshake, I just don’t usually admit it to myself.

Q: Do you have any names picked out yet?

Yes. Right now, we really like Lando for a boy and Oprah for a girl.

This is a question that I pretty much refuse to give a serious answer to. Many friends and family have quizzed me about this and almost no one has got a serious answer yet. Here’s why: People will ruin names for you. They don’t mean to, but they do.

Me: “We’re thinking about Dean for a boy.”

Well-meaning friend or family member: “I had a roommate in college named Dean. He was a fuckin’ asshole.”

Also, because David’s last name is Tracy, a lot of people like to suggest the names Stacey, Tracy and Dick.

Yes, hilarious. Ha ha ha, it is to laugh.

Advertisements

Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/mocker/goober/mother in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, podcast, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

11 thoughts on “FAQs: The pregnancy edition

  1. I’m lame and lazy because I’ve waited this long to say…

    CONGRATULATIONS on successful fetus creation!

    My I suggestion Kurt-inspired names? But only if it’s a girl. Kurtiffany has a lovely ring to it, if I do say so myself.

    • Great suggestion! Kurtiffany would be a great name if you get your wish and the spawn is “both.”

    • Kurtiffany has a nice ring to it.

      Thank you, Kurt! And congrats to you! You are coming back to the states, I see.

      Next time you are in the Bay Area, you should alert me. I’d love to see you!

  2. Christopher is a great name. You can use it for either a boy or a girl. 🙂

  3. Sonia – I love your sarcasm and your wit especially with your recent spawn news! I have referred your site to many of my friends b/c we have the same sense of humor? Anyway my vote is for Lando. I think that name needs to make a come back. Congratulations on the pregnancy.

  4. Good grief, I don’t think I’ve known any pregnant ladies who were all “YAY GLOWY GOOEY SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS” until they actually had Mr. or Miss Baby out of there. So not to worry. Other people can take their opinions and stuff them in their OWN uteri and see how they feel. My opinion is that you’re doing great. I hope the baby has red hair.

  5. Weird, there’s another TK. HELLO FELLOW TK.
    I’m just here to say you should stick with the name you’ve already given it, based on your Twitter feed: Spawn. Spawn is kind of a cool name, when you think about it.

    • We always refer to the critter as Spawn. It will definitely be a nickname.

      A friend was just asking me the other day to stop calling it spawn, saying it was mean. However, I like to think that any kid of mine would appreciate the humor. If it doesn’t, well, maybe I can exchange it for another kid who appreciates mommy’s sense of humor.

  6. Pingback: I don’t think you’re happy enough | The Sonia Show

  7. Pingback: I’m getting all motherly and shit | The Sonia Show

Leave a comment, you guys. It's fun!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s