Yeah, so, I get these weekly updates for Baby Center in my inbox.
They remind me how far along I am, where the spawn is in its development, changes my body is going through at this stage, etc. “Your baby is the size of a lemon. … Your nausea has probably subsided, but the urge to kill your coworkers has increased.”
Today, I received one for 15 weeks:
Baby Center: “You’ve probably gained about 5 pounds by now.”
Me: “Fuck you, Baby Center.”
Five pounds! HA! Yeah, sure, I’ve put on 5 pounds … in my face! And about 20 pounds everywhere else.
“You’ve probably noticed the urges to kill the writers at Baby Center have increased.“