Yeah, so, just as everyone predicted, it’s a boy.
We were surprised and happy to learn spawn is a boy. However, I imagine we would have been just as surprised and happy to learn that spawn was a girl. It’s really a win-win situation.
We went to Kaiser this morning for the ultrasound and amniocentesis. If you don’t know what an amniocentesis is allow me to explain: The doctor sticks your belly with a ginormous needle and takes a sample of amniotic fluid. In a week or so, the genetic counselor will be able to tell us with 99 percent accuracy if there’s anything wrong with our spawn.
The procedure really smarts. Honestly, after three breast cancer surgeries, I’m kinda used to being poked and prodded, but I never look forward to it. The needle poke really stings, and there was some cramping. It’s uncomfortable as hell, but I just looked at David, smiled and breathed through it. Thank you, yoga, for teaching me how to breath through pain.
Before I got stabbed in the gut with a huge needle, we got to do the ultrasound and see the spawn in action. He is a serious busy body. He was moving around like crazy, punching and waving and rolling back and forth. I probably shouldn’t have had meth for breakfast. Every time the ultrasound tech tried to get a look at his heart his put his hand over it. He was fuckin’ with her. He was also being modest and hiding his junk from us, but eventually she got a shot, which I will posting here, because we want to start embarrassing our spawn early.
Everything looked great. He looks healthy and normal. It was so great to see him. I can feel the spawn moving around in there sometimes (it’s like a popcorn popper going off in my stomach), but it’s not to the point where David can feel it. David got to see for himself that his wife isn’t getting fat just because she likes to stuff her face. Little spawn is in there, he’s fine, and he’s getting bigger.
So now, on doctor’s orders, I’m resting on the couch today. I’ve got some shows on the DVR and the final season of “Friday Night Lights” on DVD to watch (I’m already about halfway through).
Now here’s what you came to this blog for … nudity!