The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

Parents say the darndest things


Yeah, so, a friend of mine told me that two of her coworkers were having a conversation about their kids when one of them dropped this little nugget: “Can you even imagine what our lives were like before [we had kids]? They must have been so sad, and we just didn’t know any better!”

They said this in front of two single ladies, like their lives are crap because they are single and childless.

I call bullshit on this. I suspect they are miserable bitches, and they are just saying that to make themselves feel better.

But hey, if it’s true for them, then I’m sorry they’re lives were so shitty before they had kids. But you know what? My pre-spawn life was awesome. I could sleep in as late as I wanted. I had a smokin’ hot yoga body. I had all kinds of disposable income. I could go out without having to worry about getting a babysitter. I could get shit-faced in a bar and stay out all night if I wanted. I was responsible for only myself and the dog. It was the best!

I told my friend if I ever say something ridiculous like that she is allowed to slap me. Hell, I will throw a drink in my own face and slap myself.

Will my life be different because I have a kid? Sure. I have no doubt that being a parent is super rewarding, and I will be amazingly happy. Will it make my pre-child life look pathetic and sad? Hell no.


Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/podcaster/mother/goober in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, go on adventures with my mighty, mighty good man David and my awesome autistic son, Calvin, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

3 thoughts on “Parents say the darndest things

  1. Hear hear! The Spawn is lucky that he doesn’t have a smug mama but a super cool one.

  2. I fantasize about getting my life back once the kids get older. I hear you start leaving them alone for a few hours at a time when they turn 13. Only 4 more years until Tony and I can go see a movie with no kids without it being a big production. I can’t wait!

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