The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

I don’t think you’re happy enough

1 Comment

Yeah, so, I continue to be fascinated by what people say to pregnant ladies.

I guess people think that pregnant ladies are all so excited to be bringing a new life in the world that they can just say anything they want and it shouldn’t bother us.

I get a lot of “Wow! You look really pregnant.” Gee, thanks. Well, I should look pregnant. I am pregnant. Of course, this is code for “You have put on weight.” Even though they are talking about your pregnant belly, no woman loves to be told they are huge. The pregnant lady might smile at your comment, but on the inside she is totally cringing.

I’ve written before about how my less than glowy attitude about being pregnant has been misinterpreted by people as somehow not being happy and excited about the spawn.

Of course, this is completely false. I am very excited to meet the spawn. He’s my boy!

These people who doubt my happiness levels don’t see me in the car, where I love to talk to the spawn. They don’t see me sitting on the couch rubbing my belly and petting Homer at the same time. They don’t see how I get all excited when the spawn gets all a flutter while I’m relaxing or when he gives me a little kick. They don’t know the story about the time David came into our bedroom one morning while I was still sleeping to say good-bye before leaving for work and the spawn started moving around at the sound of his voice and how happy that made me. They have no idea that I’m thinking about spawn all the time. I gave up red wine for him, people! Obviously, I love him!

They have no idea that every little thing makes me misty because I’m hormonal these days. That’s because I’m not the sort of person to get all emotional in public. I don’t even like to let on just how happy I am to people, because I’m afraid people will think, “What the fuck is she so happy about?” like I’m rubbing my happiness in their face. It’s very rare that I will cry in front of people or get really angry or get super mushy. I would have to be amazingly overwhelmed with emotion to let that happen. I tend to keep a straight face, crack some jokes, and then I go home and vent or cry or whatever. Any other reaction makes me feel like I’m burdening people with my crap; however, I never feel that way when my friends or family vent or cry or get mushy. I’m just weird that way.

So anyway, I’ve been hearing a lot of “we were worried about you during the first trimester, but you seem fine now.” I am fine now, and, I was fine then, too. I just wasn’t really expressing myself clearly, BUT, in some cases I had a good reason … which brings me back to my original statement: I continue to be fascinated by what people say to pregnant ladies.

Here’s what people say to me, usually these people are other women:

  • “You are looking really big.”
  • “I bet you are tired all the time. Are you tired all the time? I had the hardest time sleeping when I was pregnant.”
  • “Here’s something to look forward to: hemorrhoids.”
  • “I was in labor for 36 hours.”
  • “How much weight have you put on already?”
  • “Are you going to breast feed? I had the most horrible time breast feeding. It was so stressful.”
  • “Will you hold my wine for me for a second? Don’t drink it. Ha ha! ”
  • “I have a friend who was pregnant and [insert terrifying story here].”
  • “How’s the morning sickness? I was sick through my entire pregnancy. It was the worst. I was vomiting all the time.”
  • “Have you thought about child care? It’s so expensive. You really need to find a place right now and get on the waiting list.”

Then after I leave, these people turn to each other and say, “You know, Sonia doesn’t seem very excited about being pregnant. I don’t think she’s happy.”

Really? Well, I wonder why you got that impression.


Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/podcaster/mother/goober in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, go on adventures with my mighty, mighty good man David and my awesome autistic son, Calvin, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

One thought on “I don’t think you’re happy enough

  1. AGH. I missed this one because I was out of town. But you nailed it. Again. A friend of my husband actually said this when we told him the news: “Good luck. They’re expensive.” Like we never considered that before we decided to get me knocked up.

    I think people are just dying to tell us what horrible parents we’re going to be and this is the closest alternative.

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