The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

Random acts of pregnancy


Yeah, so, I think I just participated in my first random act of pregnancy.

Around noon, a coworker warmed up some garlic bread in our toaster oven. The entire office smelled like garlic bread. I HAD to have some garlic bread immediately. I drove to the store, bought a loaf of pre-made garlic bread, brought it back to the office and warmed it up in the toaster oven. I easily ate half of it myself before offering some of my coworkers.

My coworkers snickered at me while I ate it, as they should.

It was pretty much the best garlic bread I ever had, and I think Spawn agreed, because halfway through the loaf he started moving around and kicking.

So, yeah, Spawn has been moving around and kicking or punching a lot lately. One night, David put his face up to my belly to talk to Spawn, and Spawn kicked him in the face. And, Sunday night he kicked so hard my belly visibly moved.

It’s totally weird to have a little creature squirming around inside you. If I’m sitting quietly in my cube or chillin’ on the couch watching TV, Spawn will start kicking and moving around. It’s good to know he’s OK in there. Sometimes all is quiet in there, but if I start clapping and cheering while watching the Giants game, he will start moving around and kicking. I’m guessing I woke him up. I’d feel bad about it except he likes to kick me while I’m trying to sleep. Revenge!

I’ve written before about how clumsy I have become since getting knocked up. Whether I’m smashing my hand in a garage or misplacing my car, I am not very graceful these days. Well, it turns out I can blame that on Spawn, too.

I got an email update from, explaining that this pregnancy belly has thrown my center of gravity off. Also, since I’m not sleeping as well and always tired, it makes it more difficult for me to pay attention, remember anything or hold on to things without dropping them. Of course, before I was pregnant, I was supremely clumsy. Now, it is much worse. However, I was never forgetful. Now I can’t remember shit! I have to start writing everything down or get it tattooed on my body like “Memento.”

Pregnancy is awesome, right?

This baby better be really cute.


Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/podcaster/mother/goober in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, go on adventures with my mighty, mighty good man David and my awesome autistic son, Calvin, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

6 thoughts on “Random acts of pregnancy

  1. Odds are good that at first glance you’ll think of actually naming the little creature Spawn. Luckily the weird new-baby-alien look wears off into something precious enough to keep us from actually killing our offspring for screaming at all hours of the night. And the memory lapses do come in handy, later on. Best wishes for the rest of your journey!

  2. Hey! I found your blog via the Freshly Pressed page and I really like your style of writing. This post has made me want garlic bread now!

    Congratulations on your pregnancy and hope you have an easy labor.

  3. Yup, your memory is going to be shot to hell from now on. On the upside, Spawn is going to bring an unbelievable supply of fodder for your blog.
    Like culturallife, I’m glad I discovered you via Freshly Pressed. I wish you the best for the rest of your pregnancy.

  4. Pingback: The week in review: iPhones, football and luggage | The Sonia Show

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