Yeah, so, last night David, Kirk and I went to see “Super 8,” because any movie that involves J.J. Abrams AND Coach Eric Taylor is worth the price of admission.
I really loved this movie. It was a love letter to all those Steven Spielberg movies people my age love: “The Goonies,” “Close Encounters of the Third Kind,” “Poltergeist,” “E.T.” Of course, the movie was produced by Steven Spielberg, so his fingerprints are all over it. I loved the kids in “Super 8.” They looked like kids, not child actors. They talked like kids. I was surprised how many times I laughed out loud during the movie. It’s a really entertaining, fun movie.
I need to hit the movie theater more often before I pop out the spawn. After Oct. 5, all the movies I’ll be seeing in the theater will be either great Pixar movies or horrible “kid-friendly” movies that will make me wish I had gotten an abortion. Although, judging by the movie previews before “Super 8” I won’t have a lot of quality choices at the box office this summer.
Almost all of the previews before “Super 8” featured talking animals, robots or aliens. One of the previews was for “The Zookeeper,” which stars Kevin James as a fat schlub, who works at the zoo and is in love with a woman who looks like a super model. Then the animals at the zoo start talking and try to help him win her love. None of the animals suggest hitting the gym or gently pointing out to him that she’s smokin’ hot and out of his league. I think there’s a scene in which he throws feces at someone. I’m not sure. I stopped paying attention.
Speaking of throwing feces, during the first half of the preview for “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” I thought it was a remake of that Matthew Broderick movie “Project X” from the ’80s in which he trains a monkey to be a fighter pilot. HA! I wish. Instead it’s “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” and it stars a confused-looking James Franco. James Franco goes to Columbia University so I thought he was smart, but after this and “Your Highness” I’m starting to think Columbia University is a community college.
There was a preview for “Transformers 3.” I didn’t see the first two so I suspect I would be horribly confused if I saw the third one. I would spend the entire time in the theater asking questions such as “Really?” “Seriously?” “People pay money to watch this crap?”
One of the strangest previews we saw was for this movie about fighting robots, and I mean rob0ts as boxers. The robots, controlled and trained (I guess) by humans, fight in boxing rings. It’s like “Ultimate Fighter” meets “Battlebots.” It was called “Real Steel,” and it stars Hugh Jackman, who must have needed the money really bad or lost a bet – that’s the only explanation. When the preview was over I looked at Kirk and he said what I was thinking, “How is this movie not called Rock ’em, Sock ’em Robots?” It should have the tagline: “Kids, it’s based on the game your parents liked.” It sure did get me excited to see the upcoming movie based on “Battleship.” And yeah, I wish I was making that up.
The only preview that looked good to me was “Cowboys and Aliens,” because – hey – it has cowboys AND aliens. Sign me up!