The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

In a world where summer movie previews suck …

62 Comments

Yeah, so, last night David, Kirk and I went to see “Super 8,” because any movie that involves J.J. Abrams AND Coach Eric Taylor is worth the price of admission.

I really loved this movie. It was a love letter to all those Steven Spielberg movies people my age love: “The Goonies,” “Close Encounters of the Third Kind,” “Poltergeist,” “E.T.” Of course, the movie was produced by Steven Spielberg, so his fingerprints are all over it. I loved the kids in “Super 8.” They looked like kids, not child actors. They talked like kids. I was surprised how many times I laughed out loud during the movie. It’s a really entertaining, fun movie.

I need to hit the movie theater more often before I pop out the spawn. After Oct. 5, all the movies I’ll be seeing in the theater will be either great Pixar movies or horrible “kid-friendly” movies that will make me wish I had gotten an abortion. Although, judging by the movie previews before “Super 8” I won’t have a lot of quality choices at the box office this summer.

Almost all of the previews before “Super 8” featured talking animals, robots or aliens. One of the previews was for “The Zookeeper,” which stars Kevin James as a fat schlub, who works at the zoo and is in love with a woman who looks like a super model. Then the animals at the zoo start talking and try to help him win her love. None of the animals suggest hitting the gym or gently pointing out to him that she’s smokin’ hot and out of his league. I think there’s a scene in which he throws feces at someone. I’m not sure. I stopped paying attention.

Speaking of throwing feces, during the first half of the preview for “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” I thought it was a remake of that Matthew Broderick movie “Project X” from the ’80s in which he trains a monkey to be a fighter pilot. HA! I wish. Instead it’s “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” and it stars a confused-looking James Franco. James Franco goes to Columbia University so I thought he was smart, but after this and “Your Highness” I’m starting to think Columbia University is a community college.

There was a preview for “Transformers 3.” I didn’t see the first two so I suspect I would be horribly confused if I saw the third one. I would spend the entire time in the theater asking questions such as “Really?” “Seriously?” “People pay money to watch this crap?”

One of the strangest previews we saw was for this movie about fighting robots, and I mean rob0ts as boxers. The robots, controlled and trained (I guess) by humans, fight in boxing rings. It’s like “Ultimate Fighter” meets “Battlebots.” It was called “Real Steel,” and it stars Hugh Jackman, who must have needed the money really bad or lost a bet – that’s the only explanation. When the preview was over I looked at Kirk and he said what I was thinking, “How is this movie not called Rock ’em, Sock ’em Robots?” It should have the tagline: “Kids, it’s based on the game your parents liked.” It sure did get me excited to see the upcoming movie based on “Battleship.” And yeah, I wish I was making that up.

The only preview that looked good to me was “Cowboys and Aliens,” because – hey – it has cowboys AND aliens. Sign me up!

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Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/mocker/goober/mother in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, podcast, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

62 thoughts on “In a world where summer movie previews suck …

  1. I will concede that there’s a chance that the Planet of the Apes movie will be cool.

    But don’t forget: Green Lantern (looks terribl-ay) and Captain America (Looks… well, jury’s out, but it doesn’t exactly look promising). More Robots, Apes, Aliens, Robots, Comic Book shit, Apes, Robots, Aliens, and Comic Book shit than you can shake a stick at!

    Then again, it WAS an Abrams movie, and apparently his fans are of the videogame/robot-loving demographic.

  2. I said the same thing about “Real Steel.”

    “Super 8” is the best movie I’ve seen this year. I’ve heard that the alien bit wasn’t part of JJ Abrams’ original idea for the movie. I thought that was the weakest part of an overall good movie. Also, I wanted to see more Kyle Chandler. It would’ve been great to see him giving a rousing locker room-ish speech to the kids or townspeople like we saw him do so many times with the Dillon Panthers/West Dillon Lions.

  3. OMG KEVIN JAMES PLAYING A FAT GUY? Maybe people will finally take his commitment to method acting seriously.

    My favorite joke I like to make is that X movie came out because Y actor needs a paycheck.

    Examples:
    The Zookeeper or, Kevin James needs a paycheck
    Real Steel or, Hugh Jackman needs a paycheck
    Jackass 3 or, Steve-o needs an 8-ball

    Funny, huh? And it’s applicable to nearly every genre. You’re welcome.

    • I’ve already seen Zookeeper, except Kevin James was in a mall instead of the zoo…

    • Ha! Oh, the gritty truth!
      Kevin James…Needs to laugh all the way to a bank that is NOT located anywhere near a movie set. DONE! Go away and enjoy your money.
      Hugh Jackman…SO SAD…waste of a massive talent!
      If you give Steve-O another ball, he’ll only let a baby crocodile bite it and insist on filming it!

  4. It was a painful set of trailers to sit through. I wondered if we were on Candid Camera for a second and they wanted to see how we’d react.

    As for Captain America, well, I do like that it is in the 40’s at least. Then again, The Rocketeer and The Phantom were retro also…. Oh, and The Shadow. You can’t forget how awesome The Shadow was.

    • Yes, we will never forget how awesome The Shadow was. aka not in the least bit awesome. lolol wasn’t that the movie where the guy wore rings?

  5. Ugh. There’s little more depressing than bad movie previews. Glad to know “Super 8” is good, my friends have been giving it a general thumbs up, so I’ll have to put it on my list. As for your future, I hope Pixare comes out with some really good stuff or you find a good babysitter.

  6. Funny comments. I’m sure I’ll see cowboys and aliens at some point for kicks, but I’m not paying theater prices!

  7. I kept wondering whether or not to go see Super 8 this weekend…now I wish I had! There’s always next weekend, I suppose. Thanks for letting us know that it’s worth the price of admission! 🙂

  8. There’s lot of fantasy, superhero, monster, robot stuff coming out this summer. I saw Super 8 and thought along the same lines as you. They were real kids playing real kids. Not hired child actors trying too hard to fit a mold that the writers and directors wanted.

    A lot of it really depends on a person’s taste/preference in movies. I have friends who will only watch “real-life” films and then I have friends who are the biggest geeks and have to watch every superhero movie or sci-fi flick that hits theaters. I had never seen any of the X-Men films before X-Men: First Class came out, and I thought it was awesome. I thought Thor was kinda OK. I thought Super 8 was pretty good. I didn’t bother seeing Green Lantern between the terrible previews and terrible reviews. And I think that Captain America could potentially be great.

    Oh, and I completely agree that Kevin James is in need of a paycheck. Why else would such a crappy film be coming out? Real Steel looks kinda cheesy, but there’s more hope for the Hugh Jackmans than for the Kevin James’s . . .

  9. You left something out: “It’s cowboys! And aliens! And Daniel Craig!”

    🙂

    Fun post —

    Mikalee

  10. I think part of the problem is Hollywood is churning out an endless diet of super-hero movies to pubescent males who are not expected to develop normal adult coping powers.

  11. Although I’m not 12, I’m actually excitedly waiting for Harry Potter and Cars 2 to come out!

  12. Clearly, my crippling fear of aliens is going to keep me far away from the theaters this summer. Why do they always come out all at once???!!!

  13. Ehh I don’t know about this. I thought Super 8 sucked horribly and J.J. Abrams should quit making movies. I’m excited about Captain America and I suspect it will be one of the better superhero movies to come out so far. Real Steel looked pretty good and it being based on Rock ‘Em, Sock ‘Em Robots just makes it cooler. Rock ‘Em, Sock ‘Em Robots was a great game. Rise of the Planet of the Apes looks pretty good too depending on which trailer you’ve seen but the extended trailer gives it promise, especially considering it’s testing on animals gone awry. I do agree though that Cowboys and Aliens = WIN. Even if it’s cheesy as hell just having Cowboys and Aliens in the same movie makes it great! To each their own though I guess.

  14. LOL!! I had the exactly same reaction when I saw the preview for the Planet of The Apes, and thought…. what an odd movie to re-make…lol! Planet…looks seriously spooky though….

  15. I am a parent and I am appalled by how many films feature talking animals. The series with talking puppies is so awful I have mentally blocked out the name.

  16. One thing I would add is how well they nailed being a kid growing up in the 70s. I’ve seen many movies that took place then, but this is the first one where I was really thrown for a loop by it. A lot of fun memories popped into my head. I appreciate the attention to detail.

  17. When I saw an ad for Cowboys and Aliens, I just stared at the TV for a while, lost for words. Then I started asking if anyone else had seen it, or if it was just my imagination. Sadly, you have just confirmed its existence.

  18. couldn’t agree more. previews are lame lately.

  19. Don’t get too bummed anticipating the kid-friendly movies- they’re much more sophisticated than they were when we were kids! Thanks for making me want to see Super 8.

    • I really love all the Pixar movies, and I thought the first Kung Fu Panda was really cute. But then I see previews for those Chipmunk movies and I think I’m going to be sick. HA!

  20. All these animation,3D cartoony(is that even a word) type films just put me off watching movies these days,last great film i seen was Inception/Shutter Island. Great blog !

  21. If you haven’t seen ‘Bridesmaids’ I highly recommend it. It’s one of the funniest movies I’ve seen in a long time.

  22. Not that it matters, but I didn’t read any commentary on the fourth installment of Pirates of the Caribbean. I went and saw it and was mildly impressed, the director wasn’t the same as the previous (Gore Verbinski). We rarely pay to see movies in the theaters anymore, we wait for them to be available on Netflix.

  23. I want to see “Cowboys and Aliens”. It looks interesting, and Daniel Craig is a good actor. But there’s really only a handful of movies I would care to go see in theaters.

    I would love to see “Snow Flower and the Secret Fan”, but I doubt any of the theaters within reasonable driving distance will be playing it.

  24. Yeah, you’re right, that Real Steal movie should be called Rock ’em Sock ’em Robots!

    I loved the Super 8 movie and it totally had that classic movie feel only Spielberg could produce. I have no idea why some people didn’t like that movie. The kids were hilarious, and extremely refreshing because they seemed so down to earth. I think people who don’t like that movie must only like movies like The Zookeeper… ew.

  25. I am looking forward to seeing Super 8, so I was happy to see your positive review. There really are a lot of escapist stinkers in the que for summer viewing. I suppose Hollywood, and Hollywood Adjacent, think we all need a bit of mental popcorn in light of the headlines and the read-between-the-headlines. They’re not wrong, but they could have tried a bit harder!

  26. “People pay money to watch this crap” lol hey someone might not like cowboys and alins much either (lol cowboys and aliens haha) though I can understand it is a classic too. I might watch it

    Transformers is a good show but many fans are disappointed with the movies except for the robot action.I think the movies are too generic though the series did try to do different things from time to time. Rise of the planet of the apes looks like a retelling, ironically 10 years ago mark warlberg was in the remake with the monkey girl checking him out 😛 I think the storyline is nice but… I do want to know if it has any connection to the 2001 movie. I hope it does — that might broaden its perspectives.

    Green lantern seemed ok though I don;t know the Fantastic four sequel was idiotic. I think the only movie I’m hyped out for is Harry Potter and Transformers 3 ( I was a fan of the original cartoon series when I was a kid). but the way the second movie went I don’t know what to expect ’cause though the storyline seem good they have this ability to muck it up other ways.

    I actually heard Warner Bros might make a movie based on the Japanese manga “Death Note” and I heard a LOOOONG time ago that Jurassic Park may make a comeback.

    Have you seen POTC: On Stranger Tides?

    • I have not seen the latest “Pirates” movie. I saw the first one and loved it. I saw the second one, hated it and never went back for more.

      I am really excited for the new Harry Potter movie, though. Big fan of the books!

  27. I loved this post, mostly because I was thinking the exact same thing through all of the previews of the last movie I was at. I’m not a huge movie go-er, and I’m an incredi-broke college student with no access to cable TV, so I’ll admit that I’m out of the loop a lot of the time. But when the Transformers 3 trailer came on, I, genuinely confused and thinking a mistake had been made, leaned over to my boyfriend and asked. “Wait. Didn’t that come out a lonnnggg time ago?”

    He calmly replied that they were already on number three, and I must have been thinking of number two. Jesus Christ; what’s the difference?!

  28. Hey, I actually liked the trailer for “Rise of the Planet of the Apes.” It looked better than a lot of the stuff coming out lately. I’m with you on the “Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots” movie, but I can’t get down with “Cowboys and Aliens.” I just can’t.

  29. cowboys and aliens and Daniel Craig. : )

  30. Cowboy and Aliens looks cool 🙂
    Real Steel seems to have an interesting concept to boxing too.

  31. First good review of “Super 8” I’ve read, thank you! Now I have an excuse to see it.
    I’m all in favour of tubby guys qualifying for love in a cinematic sense, but realism would be nice too – that also applies to young starlets being forced to pretend they fancy ancient craggy leading men.
    You know the best film I’ve seen in recent months? “Morning Glory”. A woman who is good at her job, gets a new, more difficult job and succeeds at it, despite the odds and some ferocious obstacles. She has a regular relationship with a guy which is not the centrepiece of the movie, and she doesn’t have to change any aspects of her character to win him or keep him. The old craggy guy in it is NOT the love interest. Amazing. Sadly, it’s been publicised as a RomCom so it’s died quietly when it should have been lauded.

  32. Think you may have offended the majority of the male population by knocking transformations. Did you watch the first one? I quite enjoyed it. The second wasn’t great but I’m going to give the third one a go.

  33. I loved your blog, it made me laugh so hard! It’s a wonderful review of the movies I am never going to see. And now I’m curious about seeing Super 8. 🙂
    Have a great week!

  34. I can only hope that your movie-going proclivities are being absorbed by your spawn via osmosis, in which you will give birth to the second coming of Spielberg. Get his/her hands on a Super 8 camera as early as the little digits have the strength to support the weight.

    This is just like putting earphones over your belly to play the soothing sounds of humpbacks so the baby loves whales when they’re born – or something like that. Except instead of whales groaning, it’s superbly executed train wreck sequences, sharp dialogue and a range of the emotional spectrum that most movies can’t hope to cover. I bet the little tyke will come out with a first draft of a to-be-acadamy award winning screenplay in one hand and a bullhorn in the other.

    I’m so excited.

    -Rory

  35. Super 8 hasn’t started showing here in my country… but when it does I’ll definately watch it!

  36. I’ve kinda given up on waiting for a good movie. Most of them leave me feeling so-so.

  37. The fact that you referred to him as Coach Eric Taylor makes me respect your opinion 50x more!

  38. Cripes, Transformers part twelve looks godawful.

    Call me a cynical a55hole, but I’ve just seen the latest episode of South Park where Stan is diagnosed with the condition of Cynicism, meaning all he can see and hear are, basically, turds.

    And, you see, there’s this great section where the gang go to the cinema. Cue messrs Sandler and Carrey appearing as giant, fetid stinkpieces.

    Yum.

  39. Hmmm well summer isn’t over yet so hopefully there’s some better stuff. I saw Kevin James once at church.

  40. Loved this post! I also hate the trailers they show, and how they’re all pretty much the same.
    That being said, Super 8 did look promising!

  41. Cowboy’s and Aliens sign me up too 🙂
    Zach

  42. It all depends what you look for in a movie. Do you want the movie to be life changing or just entertaining? As long the movie is at least entertaining and re-watchable I’m happy. I saw Transformers 3 and I liked it. I get annoyed with people who say they don’t like it. It’s a movie about giant alien robots that transform into cars! You cannot expect much from it than a lot action. Also, Kevin James is the man! He could get a supermodel if he wanted.

  43. Pingback: In a world where movie previews suck: Part 2 | The Sonia Show

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