Yeah, so, I used to be a TV critic.
I used to watch TV and write about it for a living. It was my job to sit around and watch a lot of crap so you didn’t have to. I only had that gig for a few years before I moved to the Arts & Entertainment Editor position. I say “moved,” and not “promoted,” because the newspaper laid off everyone and moved me into that position. I got a pay raise, but I still wouldn’t consider it a promotion. Also, I didn’t really want the job, but I didn’t really have a choice.
I mention the TV critic thing, because there is a little part of me that is still nerdy when it comes to TV. I read a lot of TV-related websites. I like to read recaps of shows I enjoy. And even though I don’t watch as much TV as I used to, I could probably still tell you what a show is about and when it’s on.
Right now, all the TV sites are running Emmy speculation stories. The Emmy nominations will be announced in mid-July, but for a few weeks now my eyes have been subjected to nonstop Emmy speculation stories; mainly of the “if I created the ballot” stories by TV critics. And they break them up by genre: “This week it’s the drama category, specifically drama actress. Next week I’ll write about drama series actors,” and so on and so on. They can drag this premise out for a month or longer.
I get it. I was a TV critic. I loved writing those stories. You know who doesn’t love them? Everyone else. They’re fuckin’ boring. Regular readers of your column already know who you love and who you would vote for, and Emmy voters don’t care what TV critics have to say. If Emmy voters cared what TV critics thought then “The Wire” would have won a million Emmys. (It was nominated twice for writing AND LOST!!!) Basically, TV critics, you are writing that column just to hear yourself type.
Also, these Emmy-speculation columns suggest that they don’t have a voice in giving out awards, which is false. Many of these TV critics vote in the Television Critics Awards and the Critics Choice Awards.
Critics love to bitch about the Emmys. I love to bitch about the Emmys, too. They often ignore amazing shows and nominate the same shit over and over. Oh hey, that reminds me: The Critics Choice Awards were handed out a few weeks ago, and most of the awards went to the same shows and actors that the Emmys gave awards to. Nicely done, critics. Way to show those Emmy voters how it is done. You also gave a Best Reality Series award to “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.” Was “Jersey Shore” out of the running for some reason?
I don’t want to bag on TV critics. I was one of them, and I do enjoy reading their thoughts and insights. Am I wrong? Do people enjoy these speculation stories? If so, then I will write an entire post about why Peter Dinklage from “Game of Thrones” should win an Emmy and that if Nick Offerman, who plays Ron Swanson on “Parks & Recreation,” isn’t nominated then I’m going to punch someone.