Yeah, so, mighty, mighty good man David and I are packing up Homer and heading to Palm Springs for the holiday weekend.
The weather forecast is, officially, hotter than hell. Luckily, the house we are staying in has air conditioning and a swimming pool. I bought myself a glamorous maternity bathing suit so I plan to spend most of my time in that pool. By the way, in this sentence “glamorous” is defined as “didn’t make me throw up a little in my mouth when I tried it on.” The good thing about my six-month pregnancy belly: It makes everything else look small. My legs and ass don’t look as bad as I thought they would when they’re next to a big, round belly.
We are sharing an awesome house with good buddies Katherine, Roger, Corso, Jen, Beegs, Sass and several pooches. We have been emailing back and forth about departure times and, more importantly, the menu.
Of course, my friends are fabulous, and they all have dishes they are planning to make. I, on the other hand, am relatively useless in the kitchen. I’m thinking about volunteering to make breakfast one morning: [Opens a box of cereal] “Ta-dah! I hope everyone likes Cookie Crisp!”
Happy Independence Day, folks. America! Fuck yeah!