The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

I’m an adult?

1 Comment

Yeah, so, I don’t think it’s really set in that I’m going to be a parent. I’m going to be someone’s mom. I’m an adult, and kids have to listen to me and do what I tell them.

I went to my niece Lorelei’s birthday party on Sunday. There were kids everywhere. It was a swim party, so eventually all the kids ended up in the pool. Seeing as how I’m hugely pregnant, being in the pool sounded like a fantastic idea, so I went back to the house to change into my glamorous maternity suit.

When I walked into the house, there was a 10-year-old girl standing in the kitchen. She was soaking wet with no towel, and she was stuffing her face some sort of sugary treat. Underneath her feet was a puddle, spreading over the kitchen floor. Clearly, she had gotten out of the pool, did not even bother to dry off and walked into my sister’s house soaking wet and proceeded to help herself to some snacks.

Immediately, I thought, “I need to get an adult to tell this girl to get a towel and clean up that puddle before someone slips. Where’s an adult?”

Then I remembered, “Oh wait. I’m an adult.”

Me: “Where’s your towel, kid?” I called her “kid,” because if you are under 18 and not related to me I will probably not remember your name.

She stared at me, blankly.

Me: “OK, well, you are soaking the kitchen floor. There’s a huge puddle all around you. Someone is going to slip and fall in that, and it’s probably going to be me, so I suggest you get a towel and clean it up.”

And then she ran out of the house without a word. I hope she ran to tell her parents that I had the nerve to tell her to clean up after herself.

My niece Olivia was standing nearby. She was smart enough to dry herself off and wrap herself in a towel before entering the house like a normal intelligent person. She also deduced that the 7½ month pregnant lady wasn’t going to get down on her hands and knees and mop up this puddle. “I will clean it up,” she sighed and went to get a towel.

Yep, I’m an adult, and kids have to listen to me and do what I tell them, but most likely they will probably ignore me and run away. Awesome.

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Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/mocker/goober/mother in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, podcast, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

One thought on “I’m an adult?

  1. Having a kid will make no difference. You’ll still look at yourself in the mirror and stare in disbelief at the immature dork who is suddenly responsible for another human being. We all do.

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