The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

I won’t be getting one of those mom haircuts

9 Comments

Yeah, so, I got my weekly email from The Bump today, in which they tell me that my spawn is the size of some sort of fruit. They also include some “tips” for preparing for the spawn’s arrival. Today tip is get a “low-maintenance” haircut.

Oh sure, The Bump, I’ll get a mom haircut, and while I’m at it I’ll get some Mom Jeans, a pair of Crocs and just give up on life.

Yes, it’s true, ladies. Once you have a baby, you won’t have 5 or 10 minutes to blow dry your hair. Your significant other definitely can’t watch the baby for you for a few minutes so you can practice some good personal hygiene. You might as well give up now and get an ugly haircut.

You also might want to consider pulling out all your teeth. You definitely won’t have time to brush them. Don’t worry about eating. You can live on yogurt and smoothies. Think of how quick you’ll lose all that pregnancy weight!

And shaving your legs? HAAA! That’s for single ladies with no kids, am I right?

Just in case you don’t know what a mom haircut is, I tend to think of these looks:

No, The Bump, it’s not going to happen. I’m not cutting my hair any shorter. I’m not going to wear Crocs unless I get a job in the nursing field or in veterinary office where Crocs are perfectly acceptable. I’m not going to do it.

If I’m too busy to do my hair one day I have a perfectly good hats I can wear.

I've got this hat.

And this one.

And this one.

And this one,

And this one.

And - obviously - this one.

Advertisements

Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/mocker/goober/mother in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, podcast, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

9 thoughts on “I won’t be getting one of those mom haircuts

  1. A big “psh, HAH!” to the Bump for that guidance failure. My hairdresser warned me never to go any shorter or darker while you’re pregnant because it just makes you look fatter. Bitch tells it like it is.

  2. If I sat in my hairstylist’s chair and asked for a mom haircut, she would throw a drink in my face.

  3. Reason No. 482 I won’t be having a kid: I have high-maintenance hair that looks horrible supershort, and I look lame in hats.

    • First of all, I bet you look cute in hats.

      Second, it doesn’t matter if you have high-maintenance hair, you will still find time to clean up your act even with a baby. … So says the lady who hasn’t given birth yet.

  4. Hehehe. Assuming you have time to dry it, how will you feel in 6 months when a little beast decides that pulling your hair is the most fun he can ever have? And I’m not just talking about David. Getting your hair pulled by a baby who has no concept of the pain he is causing you and who is too young to teach not to do it is a powerful incentive to go short. Either way, you’ll rock the look. In fact, is say you’re the sexiest nerd Blogger in the Bay Area. 🙂

  5. The reason I don’t do my hair isn’t because of my children. It’s because I prefer to sleep in as much as possible before going to work. I will say that I don’t paint my fingernails anymore because there is not enough time for them to dry and even if I have them done somewhere they get chipped easily with all the mom activities. It’s just not worth it. Toes are fine though 🙂

  6. So, would the fourth choice make you Cagney or Lacey?

Leave a comment, you guys. It's fun!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s