Yeah, so, I got my weekly email from The Bump today, in which they tell me that my spawn is the size of some sort of fruit. They also include some “tips” for preparing for the spawn’s arrival. Today tip is get a “low-maintenance” haircut.
Yes, it’s true, ladies. Once you have a baby, you won’t have 5 or 10 minutes to blow dry your hair. Your significant other definitely can’t watch the baby for you for a few minutes so you can practice some good personal hygiene. You might as well give up now and get an ugly haircut.
You also might want to consider pulling out all your teeth. You definitely won’t have time to brush them. Don’t worry about eating. You can live on yogurt and smoothies. Think of how quick you’ll lose all that pregnancy weight!
And shaving your legs? HAAA! That’s for single ladies with no kids, am I right?
Just in case you don’t know what a mom haircut is, I tend to think of these looks:
No, The Bump, it’s not going to happen. I’m not cutting my hair any shorter. I’m not going to wear Crocs unless I get a job in the nursing field or in veterinary office where Crocs are perfectly acceptable. I’m not going to do it.
If I’m too busy to do my hair one day I have a perfectly good hats I can wear.