Yeah, so, there is a ton of stuff out there for babies.
The stuff you really need includes formula (if you are not breastfeeding), bottles, diapers and a place for the spawn to sleep. The rest is all extra stuff. It’s awesome, and I’m sure makes your life, and the baby’s life, better but your baby won’t die if he doesn’t have it.
We had two baby showers (because we’re so popular and cool), and we got a ton of amazing stuff. Terrific Star Wars-themed outfits (duh), adorable hats and blankets, cute towels, a swing, a play pen, a stroller, a vibrating chair, and some mat you lay on the ground and put your kid on it and all this stuff hangs over him and entertains him. Our friend Lisa sent us booze, which isn’t technically for the spawn, but it will make his life better if mommy and daddy are happy.
Our friends and family are awesome. We are truly lucky. And I’m so glad that no one got us any of that weird shit that’s out there for babies. Crazy stuff that we would have to pretend to like, only to hide it away in a closet and secretly sell it on eBay.
For example, babies loves to sleep in sacks. It’s true. They love to be swaddled up, so something like this is great, even though it looks like you are just putting your baby in a bag and calling it a night.
But something like this is just wrong. Really wrong. I bet you didn’t know you needed an extra set of hands … creepy hands.
I don’t care how cute you try to make it, I’m still not putting a leash on my spawn.
You will probably need something like this to help the baby if he gets a stuffy nose.