The Sonia Show

Writer. Podcaster. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

The leave of doom


Yeah, so, I could write the most angry, foul language-filled post ever about dealing with the paperwork for maternity leave, but I’m afraid they would kick me off the Internet.

To call it a clusterfuck would be an understatement. It has literally driven me to tears. I actually left a message on some Kaiser employee’s voice mail, in which I broke down and started sobbing in the message. I was mortified by my behavior. I believe I even said, “I’m clearly a big, fat, hormonal pregnancy mess” in the message and apologized for crying. Like I’ve said before, I’m not really an emotional person. It was not my proudest moment.

So, yeah, my work is really on top of these things, but our company was recently acquired by a larger company who has its own maternity plan, so I’m the guinea pig for this office. It’s not really HR’s fault that things have been difficult. It’s been tough to navigate all this company and Kaiser paperwork.

It doesn’t help that Kaiser sends important documents to my old address, even though I have already changed my address with them, AND they make me confirm my current address EVERY SINGLE TIME I go to Kaiser, which is basically every other week.

Slowly but surely, we are getting things figured out. Considering my Sept. 14 is my last day of work before my maternity leave starts, we are cutting it really close. My HR person asked me to call our insurance carrier and confirm a few details, so I gave them call.

When I finally got a real, live person, she confirmed my name and other details.

Her: How can I help you?
Me: I have a question about maternity leave.
Her: Medical or dental?
Me: Umm, do a lot of people take dental maternity leave?
Her: [long pause] Medical or dental?
Me: [sighs] Medical.

Then she proceeded to not help me, which pretty much sums up all my experience in dealing with this maternity leave stuff.


Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/podcaster/mother/goober in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, go on adventures with my mighty, mighty good man David and my awesome autistic son, Calvin, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

6 thoughts on “The leave of doom

  1. Unfortunately, I came to believe when I was going through it that they make it so complicated, taking advantage additionally of our hormone-muddled minds and emotions, because they are trying to intentionally fuck us out of the leave to which we are actually entitled.

    Fuckers. This is one of the thousands of reasons that France is better.

  2. On more than a few occasions, I have felt like the new, big company that bought us is trying to fool me into taking less time off.

    And I certainly agree with you, Stacey. I heart France.

    You know, the spawn was conceived in France. Can that get him dual citizenship? HA!

  3. Luckily for me, I didn’t run into problems with my maternity leave. HR was very helpful.And my doctor’s assistant just took the papers and dealt with their end of it for me. And I think they were just cool and it wasn’t because they wanted my blood pressure to stay down in a safe zone. 😉 Did just love the whole dance you do w/ the state for disability (having a baby is a disability?) – have the doctors fill out this form and if you have a c-section, you get more time. And paternity leave? Oh. Here’s the stack of papers for that too. Fucking frustrating.

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