The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

The Homer Factor

6 Comments

Yeah, so, when I talk to people these days I am usually asked the same three questions:

1) “How are you feeling?” Big.

2) “Do you have a name picked out?” Milhouse.

3) “How do you think Homer will react to the baby?” Curious, a little needy and then fine.

Here’s the deal with Homer. I got Homer in December 2001 when he was a wee runt. I was living with my sister Michelle in a house in Concord, when my mother gave me Homer as an early Christmas gift. A few weeks later, Michelle found out she was pregnant with my niece Lorelei.

Since Michelle and Lorelei’s father were not together, we continued to live together in our rental house, and we just made room for one more. In other words, Homer grew up around a baby.

Dog experts will say that wiener dogs and kids don’t mix. Dachshunds can get snappy with kids, and they are possessive of their owners. Of course, that’s not true of all wiener dogs. It’s certainly not true of Homer.

Homer is very sweet around babies and kids. Babies and kids are sticky, so Homer loves to lick them. Also, babies and kids = food. Babies and kids usually have a cookie or a cracker, and they will hand it over to a begging dog in a heartbeat.

When she was a toddler, I would hand Lorelei a cracker or something, and she would turn around, see Homer, he would cock his head to the side as if to say, “Are you going to eat that? If not, I will,” and then she would immediately hand him the cracker. I’ve also watched Homer do an army crawl on his stomach, sneak up on an unsuspecting Lorelei and steal a cookie out of her hand.

Homer loved to hang out under Lorelei’s high chair when she was eating. She would throw food, and he would be right there to clean it up. In fact, I don’t know how parents manage to keep their house clean without a dog. Kids leave food all over the place, and dogs clean that right up for you.

Here’s another cute Homer and kids story: When David and I were babysitting my nieces, little Lucy woke up from her nap and started crying in her crib. Immediately, Homer ran into her room and stood at attention near the crib. I think Homer is very protective of his wolf pack, and I have no doubt that he will be very sweet to the spawn.

I have no idea if Homer knows that there is going to be a new addition to our wolf pack very soon. I don’t know if all this baby stuff seems vaguely familiar to him. I do know that he uses my big pregnant belly as a pillow.

Also, Homer has been spending a lot of time just hanging out in the spawn’s room. No one is in there. There’s nothing happening in there. He’s just hanging out. Maybe he’s waiting …

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Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/mocker/goober/mother in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, podcast, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

6 thoughts on “The Homer Factor

  1. Cute! I think he knows what’s coming.

  2. The room looks SO GREAT!!! I would hang out in there, too 🙂

  3. I think Homer is just waiting for his own new baby to clean up after. He is a very sweet dog. I don’t believe there are going to any problems with him and the new little one bonding, I can’t hardly wait for the little guy to show up and I’m sure Homer feels the same way, what a beautiful baby’s room..and the waiting game is on…..Love to all Mom

  4. You are in good paws… Everything obviously will be fine…

  5. Homer is practicing to be Nana in Peter Pan. Now he just needs a little cap: http://neverpedia.com/pan/Nana

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