The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

Spawns just wanna have fun

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Yeah, so, I don’t want people to think the Spawn and I aren’t having fun around here.

We have fun. We’ve gone to happy hours, walks along the Embarcadero, and mom and baby yoga. Those things are fun. Trips to Kaiser? Not so much.

I think my last post gave people the impression that I was having a nervous breakdown or something. I assure you that I am no more crazy than I was before the baby. In other words, I’m still completely ridiculous. But, big thanks to all the wonderful ladies who emailed me with similar stories. They made me feel like I’m not the only one that freaks out.

Speaking of freaking out, a month from now I go back to work. I suspect this will result in an epic freak out on my part, which will require me to take a long lunch and consume several adult beverages in order to pull my shit together. Ah, alcohol: The cause of and solution to all my problems.

The truth is, on a day-to-day basis, I think we’re doing pretty good here. And if cradle cap is my biggest concern then I’m probably doing better than pretty good. The Spawn is a happy little guy. See?

Cute, right? Spawn’s cuteness has a strange affect on me. It makes my voice go up several octaves. It started as an Elmo impression, but now I sound like Jon Stewart’s impression of Queen Elizabeth or the guys from Monty Python when they dress up as women.

I find this very strange, because when my niece Lorelei was a baby I never talked like that to her. I always talked to her like she was a little adult. In fact, I routinely said “naughty words” in front of her that would elicit gasps from friends and relatives. I would say things like, “I’m sorry your father is such a fucked-up, deadbeat asshole, Lorelei,” and “What the fuck? Why did you spit up on me? Gross!”

I kid. I never told her the truth about her dad.

So anyway, in other news, I got a new phone.

I had my Droid for more than two years. It was a good phone, but it was time for an upgrade. Also, we discovered that we could get a family plan at Sprint that was considerably cheaper than our plans at Verizon. So long, Verizon. You should have treated me a little nicer when you had the chance.

David ditched his Droid in favor of the new iPhone, while I opted for the Samsung Galaxy S2. Honestly, it’s probably more phone than I need, but I got it for a penny (seriously!) on Amazon Wireless as part of one of those crazy holiday sales. I use my phone for talking (how quaint), texting and some social media-ing, but that’s about it. It has got 4G, and it can do a ton of things such as stream movies. There’s even an app to help you perform almost all minor surgeries – a surgical navigation. You just type in where you want to go in the body and the soothing lady voice tells you how to get there and what to do. I look so much thinner without my appendix.

Oh, and one more thing: There’s a new website called Ugly Renaissance Babies. It’s a great idea, which is why I did this same exact thing back in January.

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Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/mocker/goober/mother in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, podcast, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

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