Yeah, so, I’ve got a bunch of random things to say that are not worthy of a full blog post, so here you go:
- Someone should tell Newt Gingrich that the presidential race has cancer so he will leave it.
- I can’t decide what I find more depressing: That 30,007 people voted for a jackass like Rick Santorum in the Iowa caucus or that 6.1 million people watched “Work It”? If America was a person, I’d pretend I didn’t know it.
- Today, my boss went around the office and gave everyone a red plastic cup with a straw. I assume this is so I can better hide my alcohol problem from my coworkers.
- Have I mentioned lately that we print cool things at my job? Yeah, it’s OK to be jealous. I guess we are the online printing company of choice for 80s rock bands that can still sell out the Sleep Train Pavilion in Concord.
- Everyone’s been asking about how the Spawn and I are doing now that I’m back at work. So far, so good. The first day was a little rough. After dropping him off, I left in tears. But I know that Calvin is having a great time with the nanny and his new friend, Jamie. When I dropped him off this morning, he smiled at the nanny. That’s how I know she’s taking good care of him while I’m at work trying to decide what adult soda to put in my new red cup.
- Speaking of the Spawn, I’ve started a diet to help me lose the pregnancy weight. So, if I seem really bitchy, it’s because I really want a burrito with some chips and salsa.
- To all the people who were shocked that Russell Brand and Katy Perry broke up: Really? I think “Work It” is on Tuesday nights on ABC. I think you might like it.
- Why does Twitter keep suggesting that I follow McDonald’s? “Hey fatty, you obviously like McDonald’s, so why don’t you follow it on Twitter?” I won’t eat at McDonald’s (when sober) let alone follow it on Twitter.
- Apparently the Kardashians want to get into the magazine business. Judging by the cover of Us, People and Life & Style I assumed they already were. I wouldn’t pick up a copy of their magazine for fear that I would contact a sexually transmitted disease.