The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

Twitter thinks I’m fat and other random thoughts

4 Comments

Yeah, so, I’ve got a bunch of random things to say that are not worthy of a full blog post, so here you go:

  • Someone should tell Newt Gingrich that the presidential race has cancer so he will leave it.
  • I can’t decide what I find more depressing: That 30,007 people voted for a jackass like Rick Santorum in the Iowa caucus or that 6.1 million people watched “Work It”? If America was a person, I’d pretend I didn’t know it.
  • Today, my boss went around the office and gave everyone a red plastic cup with a straw. I assume this is so I can better hide my alcohol problem from my coworkers.

  • Have I mentioned lately that we print cool things at my job? Yeah, it’s OK to be jealous. I guess we are the online printing company of choice for 80s rock bands that can still sell out the Sleep Train Pavilion in Concord.

  • Everyone’s been asking about how the Spawn and I are doing now that I’m back at work. So far, so good. The first day was a little rough. After dropping him off, I left in tears. But I know that Calvin is having a great time with the nanny and his new friend, Jamie. When I dropped him off this morning, he smiled at the nanny. That’s how I know she’s taking good care of him while I’m at work trying to decide what adult soda to put in my new red cup.

  • Speaking of the Spawn, I’ve started a diet to help me lose the pregnancy weight. So, if I seem really bitchy, it’s because I really want a burrito with some chips and salsa.
  • To all the people who were shocked that Russell Brand and Katy Perry broke up: Really? I think “Work It” is on Tuesday nights on ABC. I think you might like it.
  • Why does Twitter keep suggesting that I follow McDonald’s? “Hey fatty, you obviously like McDonald’s, so why don’t you follow it on Twitter?” I won’t eat at McDonald’s (when sober) let alone follow it on Twitter.
  • Apparently the Kardashians want to get into the magazine business. Judging by the cover of Us, People and Life & Style I assumed they already were. I wouldn’t pick up a copy of their magazine for fear that I would contact a sexually transmitted disease.
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Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/mocker/goober/mother in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, podcast, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

4 thoughts on “Twitter thinks I’m fat and other random thoughts

  1. Hey, Sonia. I just wanted to report a typo in this post. It appears that you accidentally referred to your son as “Calvin.”

  2. I agree with your last point: if the Kardashians do start publishing, they should be forced to include sterile surgical gloves with every magazine sale. And an IQ test, so you can do a before and after assessment of how they have changed your life.

  3. I cannot adequately express to you how much I appreciate your Gingrich and Santorum observations. Hysterical!

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