The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

The doctor is in

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Yeah, so, I always get a little nervous when I have a doctor’s appointment.

I have this fear that they are going to tell me I have cancer, because one time I went to the doctor, and she told me I had cancer. True story. Now, even if I’m going to the doctor for a routine checkup, I get this nervous anxiety before the appointment.

Of course, now when I go to a doctor’s appointment, it’s not necessarily for me. The Spawn has checkups, too, and I am so paranoid that I’m going to pass my doctor anxiety on to him. I worry that the doctor is going to tell me there is something wrong with the boy or worse – that I’m a terrible mother and I’m doing everything wrong. Our last visit didn’t go so well. I practically ran out of Kaiser in tears. This time I came prepared with my secret weapon: Mighty, mighty good man David. He is most excellent at distracting me from my doctor anxiety.

I needed him, too, because the night before the Spawn scratched his head up in his sleep. I trim his nails all the time. We  make him sleep in those little mittens, which he manages to take off. He always finds a way to scratch head and face. So, of course, the day of the doctor’s appointment, he looks like we let a cat sleep on his head.

Calvin is a healthy and happy baby. He weighed in a 16 pounds, 3 ounces, and measured 25.5 inches, which puts him in the 75th percentile. Last time he was in the 90th percentile, so he’s getting to be less of a ginormous baby who may grow up to destroy Tokyo. He got three more shots, and he handled them like a champ.

He has crazy dry skin, though. We need to slather him in Aquaphor. Poor little guy. Still, if dry skin is his only problem then he’s doing pretty good.

"I'm wearing a hat so no one will see all the scratches on my head. Also, I have a terrible mother."

Going to the doctor is crazy stressful, though. That’s why on the way home we stopped at the store and bought a six-pack of Black Butte Porter. Oh beer, you understand me.

 

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Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/mocker/goober/mother in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, podcast, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

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