Yeah, so, I used to see every movie.
I love going to the movies. I worked at a movie theater for eight years – mainly to support my habit of seeing movies. Now, I’m lucky if I go to the movie theater five times a year. When I do go to the movies, it’s usually to see a “Harry Potter” flick or a movie that’s part of the SF Silent Film Festival or Noir City. I would love to blame my lack of time in the theater on The Boy, but the truth is I stopped going to the movies long before that. The truth is I’ve gotten lazy. Going to the movie theater is effort. Sitting on the couch and ordering a movie On Demand or streaming through Netflix is easy. But, yeah, it’s not the same as seeing a movie in the theater.
So when good buddy Kate offered to babysit on Saturday night, so mighty, mighty good man and I could go out, I jumped at the chance to see a movie.
First, we had dinner at Fish & Farm in the Tenderloin. Delicious food, not too pricey and nice atmosphere. The neighborhood is crap, but the restaurant is terrific. I had the fried chicken (sorry, Weight Watchers), and David got the burger (duh). About halfway through the burger, David, the burger enthusiast, declared it the second-best burger he had in San Francisco, behind the burger at Serpentine. If you haven’t been to Serpentine, I highly recommend it.
So anyway, back to the movies … We went to the AMC Van Ness to see “The Artist.” We love silent movies. We both really enjoyed the movie, and – just like everyone told us – the dog really steals the movie. But I’m not writing this post to review “The Artist” for you. I’m writing this post because before the movie started there were probably 10 previews, and all the movies had crazy long titles.
When did that start? When did the folks in Hollywood give up on proper titles for movies and just start using a one-line synopsis?
For example, one of the movie previews was for “Salmon Fishing in Yemen.” Guess what that is about?
Another movie was “Jeff, Who Lives at Home.” I wonder if Jeff lives at home with his parents?
But wait, there’s more: “Seeking a Friend for the End of the World.”
I really hope Keira Knightley is not Steve Carell’s love interest in this movie. She’s a little young for him, don’t you think?
There was also a preview for a movie called “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel,” which stars Judi Dench and a slew of other elderly stars.
I was surprised the movie wasn’t called “Old People Go To India.”
I want to get in on this new trend, so I have started work on a couple of screenplays:
- “Romantic Comedy In Which the Couple Hates Each Other at First But Then Falls in Love”
- “Good-Looking People Are Violently Murdered And – Yes – We Show Boobs”
- “A Movie Your Mom Will Like Starring Steve Martin”
- “Animated Movie with Fart Jokes”
- “Mindless Jason Stratham Movie”
- “Teenagers Host a Crazy Party And Learn Important Life Lessons”
- “Awful Comedy with Eddie Murphy Playing All the Characters”