Yeah, so, I’m totally boring. Sorry about that.
Someone called me boring in the comment section of my previous post about the Sizzler. This random commenter suggested that either my age or the Spawn has made me boring. This is ridiculous. Neither my age nor The Boy are to blame for my boringness. The truth is I was never interesting.
It says it right there on the right-hand side of the blog: “The Sonia Show is about a girl in San Francisco who likes to write, eat, drink booze, talk smack, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, feed her unhealthy obsession with pop culture, mock motherhood, do yoga, kick cancer’s ass, make fun of people behind their backs, walk the dog, participate in general jackass-ery, go to the movies, talk about TV, live out loud, eavesdrop on strangers’ conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, add things to her ever-expanding Shit List, and post personal things about herself on the web for all to read, which makes her some sort of literary exhibitionist.”
Is any of that really interesting? Come on. Be honest.
I almost wrote a post about Facebook. Fascinating, right? I was going to write an entire post about how my good buddy Roger and I like to check each other in at random places. For example, Roger checked me in at San Quentin Prison, and I like to check him in at Sizzlers because he doesn’t eat meat and – duh – it’s the Sizzler.
And I was planning to go on and on about how mighty, mighty good man coined the term “assjacking,” which is when someone has a serious Facebook status and you write a non-serious, assy comment. Of course, David’s genius term “assjacking” is derived from STFU Parents’ genius term “mommyjacking,” which goes like this:
Friend’s Facebook status: I got a new job. I’m so happy!
Mommyjacker: Two more days until my baby turns two months old!
I do everything in my power not to be one of those parents that they mock on STFU, Parents. If I mommyjack, I will have failed at life.
So anyway, I’m sorry I’m so boring now. Maybe I’ll get really drunk this weekend and do something stupid.