Yeah, so, we have to pay taxes this year — and not just a little bit of taxes, but a sizable amount.
I thought the Spawn was supposed to be a tax deduction. You mean I’m going through this whole motherhood thing for nothing? Damn it. Oh well, I’m sure we can raise the tax money by selling The Boy on eBay. He’s pretty cute.
I’m really pissed about the amount we have to pay because we’re not rich. We need that money. We had plans for that money. We wanted to spend that money on something like a more fuel-efficient car or a vacation or — oh, I don’t know — groceries. We were going to pump that money back into the economy like good Americans.
I know the government isn’t going to spend our money on anything worthwhile. They are going to piss it away. The government is probably going to take our money, go to Vegas and bet it all on red at the roulette table; or maybe the government will just buy a bunch of Mega-Million lottery tickets.
Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that the government used our money to buy magic beans.
I know that taxes are part of the deal of living in this country. I get it. It’s just a crap feeling when you know that billionaires and huge corporations that make billions of dollars don’t pay anything (yet corporations are people, according to the Supreme Court, right?). Meanwhile, we have to drain our meager savings to pay. It makes me want to stomp my feet and cry, “No fair!”
So anyway, I’m pretending that our tax dollars are going to federally funded abortions. It’s the only thing that makes me feel better.
Oh, and happy Easter. You’re welcome.