The Sonia Show

Writer. Podcaster. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

The Taxman can suck it


Yeah, so, we have to pay taxes this year — and not just a little bit of taxes, but a sizable amount.

I thought the Spawn was supposed to be a tax deduction. You mean I’m going through this whole motherhood thing for nothing? Damn it. Oh well, I’m sure we can raise the tax money by selling The Boy on eBay. He’s pretty cute.

I’m really pissed about the amount we have to pay because we’re not rich. We need that money. We had plans for that money. We wanted to spend that money on something like a more fuel-efficient car or a vacation or — oh, I don’t know — groceries. We were going to pump that money back into the economy like good Americans.

I know the government isn’t going to spend our money on anything worthwhile. They are going to piss it away. The government is probably going to take our money, go to Vegas and bet it all on red at the roulette table; or maybe the government will just buy a bunch of Mega-Million lottery tickets.

Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that the government used our money to buy magic beans.

I know that taxes are part of the deal of living in this country. I get it. It’s just a crap feeling when you know that billionaires and huge corporations that make billions of dollars don’t pay anything (yet corporations are people, according to the Supreme Court, right?). Meanwhile, we have to drain our meager savings to pay. It makes me want to stomp my feet and cry, “No fair!”

So anyway, I’m pretending that our tax dollars are going to federally funded abortions. It’s the only thing that makes me feel better.

Oh, and happy Easter. You’re welcome.


Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/podcaster/mother/goober in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, go on adventures with my mighty, mighty good man David and my awesome autistic son, Calvin, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

3 thoughts on “The Taxman can suck it

  1. I guess we’re poorer than you because we actually got a refund this year. But don’t worry: it’s going right into my abortion fund.

  2. See, that’s where you’re wrong, Sonia. The government is not spending it on beans or gambling. YOUR tax contribution is earmarked for whores. And not just regular, high-class Vegas-type whores, although there will be plenty of those as well, but on a plethora of “assorted” whores, from midgets to she-males, to suit the tastes of our diverse civil servants. The government does have its eclectic tastes, after all.

    I hope this makes you feel a little better.

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