The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

Word to your mothers, San Francisco internet commenters


Yeah, so, according to internet commenters, my baby isn’t welcome in San Francisco.

I keep seeing these blog posts on popular San Francisco websites that are  written in a kinda — to be honest — anti-kid tone. And, most of the comments are of the “If parents don’t like it then move to the East Bay” variety.

Divisive Parents Want to Fence Off Section of Dolores Park for Brats (Uptown Almanac)
Dolores Park Playground Parents Now Want A Fence To Keep Out Gays Dogs (SFist)
Supes Propose Change In Muni’s Stroller Policy (SFist)

It bums me out because these are websites that I love. For town that’s supposed to be all about tolerance, this town isn’t very tolerant of kids.

Here’s an example of some of the comments on these posts:

Things I could give a shit about: kids, their parents, and the self entitlement they spew. there’s a reason many people live here – it’s because this city has the least amount of kids evar, omg, and it’s great. No sniveling brats or asshole teens clogging up shit. Fuck ’em and fuck their parents too.

Hell yeah! Fuck kids! I wish the real world was more like “Children of Men.” Oh wait!


Dear San Francisco blog commenters,

Not every parent in San Francisco is an insufferable asshole, just like every person who doesn’t have kids is not an insufferable hipster douchebag.

I have a baby. He was born in San Francisco. We live in San Francisco. We’re not moving. Get over it.

Love, Sonia

PS: Say hello to your mother for me.

I know that some parents are complainy, helicopter parents. I get it. Some people move to San Francisco, have kids, and then want to change San Francisco. But not all of us. Some of us live here because we love San Francisco. ( I like you very much, San Francisco. Just as you are.)

Children are a part of living in a big city. People without kids are a part of living in a big city. Can’t we all just get along?

And, can’t we all agree that maybe we shouldn’t let dogs run wild through a children’s playground? I have a dog. I love dogs. I don’t want my dog to run unleashed through a children’s playground, just like I wouldn’t let my kid run wild through a dog park.

There’s plenty of room in the park (more specifically, Dolores Park) for everyone. Maybe a low fence to keep the kids from running all over the park is a pretty OK idea, if you stop to think about it. I mean, the dogs would have the entire park to themselves. See? Using common sense is fun.

As for the other story … Is it really hard to believe that parents who use a stroller might need to use the public transportation system, too? Can’t we have a discussion about public transportation and strollers without resorting to shit like, “Everyone with kids needs to move out of San Francisco”? This city wants everyone to get out of their cars and use public transportation, but only people who don’t have kids. Really?

Come on, San Francisco! Aren’t we better than this stupid shit? My husband and I are good, responsible people, and we’re trying to raise a mighty, mighty good man. Is there really not room in San Francisco for me, my husband and The Spawn?

I love San Francisco. I think it’s the greatest city in the world. I really do. Every day after work I drive over the Bay Bridge, and I see the most amazing view of San Francisco, and I think, “Holy shit! I live in San Francisco. What an awesome fuckin’ city!” But I read all these posts and their ridiculous comments, and I get so depressed. I told David about all the comments and how it makes me feel unwelcome in my own town.

“I am sure there are some nice adult-living communities in Arizona if they hate being around children,” he said.


I guess if I were to take my cue from the angry commenters I would write something like this:

Hey, kid-hatin’ internet commenters! You need to move out of San Francisco. This is our town. And we’re totally taking it over one park, and one bus, at a time.

Here, I packed a lunch with a juice box for your trip.


Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/mocker/goober/mother in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, podcast, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

4 thoughts on “Word to your mothers, San Francisco internet commenters

  1. You are like totally SOOOO one of those permissive hippy SF parents who lets your kids swing wildly from the chandelier at a classy restaurant then COMPLAIN when they fly off and land on someone’s heroin needle!

    Kids should be in SCHOOL, not playing in some playground. What’s with you people!

  2. I like what you are saying here but the problem is the asymmetric power structure that is constructed when it becomes parents vs “younger people”. All too often the trump card about children is played and the “younger people” without children have nothing to stand on anymore. Its as if they lost their voice. Society has derogatory words for these childless “younger people” like “spinster”. Other people tell them they just need to grow up. None of these things help the dialog between both groups. When you are a “younger person” and you see so many of your favorite places close or get harassed because of some “parent’s” comment one becomes a little defensive. So while you have salient points and I agree with you, I don’t feel like you are giving the “younger people” enough agency or a feeling that they have say. In a way, what is happening is the same kind of relationship between parents and their children is being played out. One person saying we know best and the other just having to take it. Comments is an ugly place. Unless you comment at a place all the time it is like walking into someone else’s dive bar.

    Another thing is that some parents aren’t very nice people. They will just push people of the sidewalk with their strollers. No it is not that hard getting out of the way but once in awhile it is nice to have the stroller wait or a least get acknowledgment by the stroller driver for getting out of the way. I think this kind of behavior weighs down on people because the stroller driveris not acknowledging the dignity of the non-stroller person. I hear about this kind of entitled behavior happening all over the place. My sister and her husband are actually pretty sensitive to this stuff and they tried there best to share places with everyone. They also learned about where to go and where not go with their children so that everyone can have a good time. Finally, In a blink of an eye it might be your son hanging out in Dolores park drinking a beer.

    NOTE – I couldn’t think of a better blanket term than “younger people”. I realize that you specifically pointed to “internet commenters” but the bigger picture seems to be more of a parents vs “younger people” thing. Again I agree with most of what you have to say.

  3. I have nothing but love for people that don’t have kids. I was one of them a year ago. I understand that some parents are assholes, and they want everything and everywhere to be kid friendly. I am not one of those parents. I absolutely DO NOT support the Disney-ification of San Francisco.

    What I was trying to say in my post – and I really hope it came across – was that there is room in Dolores Park for everyone. Some of the commenters are angry that there is a children’s park in Dolores Park. Well, it’s too late to complain about that. What’s done is done, right? The best thing we can do now is try to make it work for everyone. It seems to me – and I’m no expert – that a low fence that keeps kids in the playground and dogs in the rest of the park is more than fair. And if people want to get drunk in the park (and hey, who doesn’t?) then go for it. I’m not sure how a little fence around a playground is going to affect the folks that want to drink and party in the park. If anything, it will keep other people’s spawns out of their way.

    I think people are making a really big deal out of something that’s really not a big deal.

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