Yeah, so, it went to Kaiser again this week, because I fuckin’ love going to Kaiser.
Really. I can’t get enough of it. It’s my favorite way to spend a day. I love driving across town only to hit traffic in the parking garage because people think it’s really crucial to get a spot on the first floor even though you have to walk the same distance to get to the elevator no matter what level you park on. Also, why are there no stairs in your parking garage, Kaiser? Aren’t you always telling us to walk more and take the stairs instead of elevators and escalators? Thrive fail!
I was just at Kaiser last week for an exam. I went to Kaiser this week for my first physical therapy appointment for my wonky right arm. Between the constant breast cancer screenings, the Spawn and now the wonky arm, I should get a Kaiser Club Card or something.
It turns out there is a technical name for my wonky right shoulder: It’s shoulder impingement syndrome or rotator cuff problems. Apparently, this is a very common injury for new parents. And, I was happy to have my injury confirmed, because it really hurts. The doc didn’t just say, “Rub some dirt on it and walk it off, pussy.” Also, I was relieved because I’m scarred for life now, and every time I go to Kaiser I’m convinced they are going to tell me I have cancer.
Doctor: “I’m sorry to inform you, Sonia, that you have shoulder cancer.”
Me: “Shoulder cancer?! [sobs] Why oh why didn’t my shoulder quit smoking?!”
I met with the physical therapist on Monday, and we talked about my shoulder. I kept pointing to my upper arm.
Me: “It hurts right here.” [points to upper arm]
Doctor: “Actually, you only think it hurts right there. It actually hurts right here.” [pushes on a spot in my shoulder]
That’s right. I’m such a dunce that I don’t even know how to tell a doctor where it hurts. Turns out that I have a swollen tendon in my right shoulder, and the pain travels down. This means I’ve been icing the wrong spot. Awesome.
I’m going to see the physical therapist once a week for a few weeks, but it sounds like my shoulder should be back to normal soonish, which is awesome because I just booked a weekend yoga retreat in July. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do and good buddies Roger, Katherine, Beegs and Sass are into it. Joy!
And on to another subject, check out the fabulous necklace that my boys got me for Mother’s Day. Cute, right?