The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

You can’t park here or here or here

16 Comments

Yeah, so, the family that we do the nanny share with is awesome. Their neighbors, however, are a bunch of whiny bitches.

We share a wonderful nanny with a very cool couple who lives up the hill from us in Glen Park. Every day I drive up the hill, park my car on the street and drop off the Spawn at their place. I come back around 5:30-5:45 p.m. and pick up the Spawn. I’m usually parked in the area for about five minutes, maybe 10 minutes tops.

Twice now, neighbors have given me shit for parking in their neighborhood. Twice.

The first time, I was parking my car to pick up the kid. I got out of the car, and a woman approached me.

Her: “Excuse me, can you move your car?”
Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Am I blocking your driveway?”
Her: “No. But that’s my house you are parking in front of.”
Me: “Oh, umm, well, I’m just running into the house next door to pick up my baby.”
Her: “Oh geez. I’m sorry. Of course, go get your baby.”

The next day the woman approached me again and apologized. I accepted her apology. I didn’t say anything about the fact that she doesn’t own the street, and I can park anywhere I damn well please, because I’m totally fuckin’ nice, people.

But yesterday, it happened again, but with a different whiny neighbor, and I don’t think she’s going to offer up an apology to me anytime soon.

I had parked across the street from the nanny share house, which is across the street and two houses down from this bitchy woman, who I assume has many, many cats. I was putting the Spawn in the car when the woman shouted at me from across the street.

Her: “Excuse me! Can you not park in front of my house?”
Me: “I’m not parked in front of your house.”
Her: “You’ve parked your car in front of my house before, and I really need my spot.”
Me: “I usually park over here, and it’s for only 5 minutes.”
Her: “No, you’ve parked in front of my house! Can you not park here?”
Me: “Sure.” [rolls eyes and makes mental note to definitely park there, because fuck her]

Now, I’m not some mommy-asshole who’s like, “I have precious cargo so I can park wherever I want.” I’m legally parked on a public street. I’m not blocking a driveway. I’m not double parked. I’m not leaving my car parked there overnight. Hell, I don’t leave my car there more than 10 minutes.

Look, I understand. Parking is precious in San Francisco. I get it. I live in a house in Glen Park. I don’t live very far from the Glen Park Bart station, so people park in front of my house all the time. But, you know what? I don’t bitch at them. You know why? Because I don’t own the fuckin’ street! People are allowed to park there. If I come home and someone is parked in front of my house, I just park elsewhere. Oh, and by the way, these women bitching at me — they have garages!

The street I’m parking on to drop off the kid is a public street in a residential area. It’s not even permit parking. Yet, twice, neighbors have come up to me and told me not to park where I’m parked. I can’t park anywhere on that street without being in front of someone’s house, so — seriously — get the over it, ladies.

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Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/mocker/goober/mother in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, podcast, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

16 thoughts on “You can’t park here or here or here

  1. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. At first, I thought you were saying that you were double parking in front of someone’s house, maybe blocking their car? Which, big fucking deal, it’s only a couple of minutes, who gives a fuck. But what you’re saying is that you were parking in a completely open street space? And these people were bitching at you for parking in a completely legal and open space just because it’s in front of their house?

    You. Have. Got. To. Be. Fucking. Kidding. Me.

    Tell me the address, please, because I’m going to drive over there, park there, and leave my car there for as long as I can, maybe until 5 minutes before street cleaning begins. And I’m going to get everyone I know with a car to come park on this same street. Who the fuck do these people think they are? I have never heard of anyone trying to pull shit like this.

    Now I am outraged. OUTRAGED. See, I shouldn’t read stuff like this.

  2. It’s some serious bullshit, right?

    Sadly, the spot in front of the second bitchy woman’s house was taken this morning, but I fully intend to park in front of her house every chance I get, because she is not the boss of me.

  3. And they’re not trying to park at the same time, are they? They’re just stalking the empty parking spot in front of their homes? Get a life, people …

  4. Next thing you will see is some cheap Walmart folding chair to reserve their “spot”. I think its so weird for them to say “Don’t park in front of my house”. Are they afraid of car bombs? If I were you, I would just wave, smile or give them the thumbs up any time one of them yells. ha ha.

  5. Do the people you do the nanny share with know these freaktastic neighbors? Id be interested to know if they have a reputation for being busybody assholes. The icing on the cake is that they have their own garages.

    • The first time it happened I told the other mom in the nanny share. She said that neighbor was an annoying busybody. I haven’t had a chance to tell her about the second occurrence yet. I’m sure she will tell me to ignore her and encourage me to park in front of the busybody’s house.

  6. This is very suburban. When I visit my parents in Santa Rosa, they grumble if someone parks in front of their house, and I laugh at them. I’m really truly shocked that anyone in San Francisco is stupid enough to think they can claim a street parking spot as their own.

  7. Nice! This happened to me on the street my husband used to live on. His neighbor would constantly complain about people parking infront of her house. She too had a TWO car garage and yet still found it necessary to bitch at me one snowy day when I parked in front of hers to pick up my man. Our exchange went as follows:
    Bitchy woman: “you cant park there.
    Me: (looking at her with a look of pleasant recognition)- “Mrs. Maple?!”
    Bitchy woman: “uh, what? No? I’m Mrs. Sander.”
    Me: “Oh. I’m sorry. You’re not Mrs. Maple. As in maple St?”
    Bitchy woman: (staring at me utterly confused)
    Me: “I just assumed since you think you own the entire street you must be who it’s named after. Since you’re not, I’ll be parking here to briefly pick up my boyfriend who is a resident next door.”
    Bitchy woman never bothered us again.

  8. Please, please, please park in front of their house as often as possible. I am *so* not one to deliberately stir up s*&**^t, but I cannot abide unneccessarily bitchy, snotty, rude, ILL-INFORMED individuals. Lord have mercy! I *might*, and this likely wouldn’t happen, be frustrated if someone parked in front of my house all day. But then two seconds later I would give myself a bitch-slap for being so moronic as to think I owned the parking spaces in front of my house. Sheesh.

  9. I’ve lived in many parts of SF, all with desperate parking deficits, and never heard of such a thing. Yes, my neighbors and I like to park near our homes, but an *expectation* that we *get* to? Inconceivable. Hand a printout of these comments to that nutjob.

    • Ooh! I love the printing out the comments idea. Like TK this has made me incredibly angry. I hereby offer my services and my Toyota to participate in the protest movement. Just give me a date and time.

  10. We had a neighbor in Minnesota who got pissed whenever we parked (or our guests parked) in front of his house. So I did the same thing you did—made a mental note to do it more often.

    Solidarity.

  11. I’ll tell you, Sonia… I can sympathize… This sort of stuff can get ugly… Just stand your ground… You are a saint…

  12. I’ve experienced this bizarre parking self-entitlement in SF once before: the FIRST time I lived in Glen Park. Which was up on your hill. Yeah, maybe it’s a hill thing. :/
    Or maybe some people are just assholes.

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