Yeah, so, I ventured into the cereal aisle at the grocery store, because I have a kid now and it’s the law.
I like cereal, too. I would eat cereal for every meal if it wouldn’t make me a huge fatty; however, since cereal would make me a huge fatty, I don’t go to that aisle very often. Every time I go down that aisle, it blows my mind. In fact, I wrote about the state of breakfast cereals before.
So anyway, the Spawn is all about Cheerios these days, so I must go into the cereal aisle to get Cheerios. We’re not letting him eat the sugary stuff, because he’s just a baby. But, to tell you the truth, I don’t know if I want The Boy ever eating that stuff. Have you looked at the boxes? Every cereal mascot looks like an insane crack addict; like this cereal is the good shit. Seriously, look at them.
All of them look like addicts. Tell me that the Apple on Apple Orbits box wouldn’t suck your dick for $3 to buy more of that cereal. And look at that crazy look in Captain Crunch’s eyes. I have no doubt that Captain Crunch has shown up at his mama’s house pulled a Samuel L. Jackson in “Jungle Fever.”
I think we’ll stick with Cheerios in this house just to be safe.