Yeah, so, I’m not a vegetarian anymore.
I was for a little while, but even then, I wasn’t very hardcore. I still ate seafood, and I couldn’t resist fried chicken. But still, I tried.
Then we went to Paris. I didn’t want to eat vegetarian in Paris. I felt like I’d be missing out. That’s a lie. I just didn’t want to learn to say “Is there meat in this?” in French, because I’m a lazy American asshole. I figured I’d get back to being a vegetarian when we got home. But then I came home pregnant.
When I was knocked up and so many different kinds of food made me nauseous, but meat wasn’t one of them. I jumped off the vegetarian bandwagon, and I haven’t bothered to get back on.
Sometimes I think I will get back to being a vegetarian, but then David tells me about some restaurant that he heard serves amazing fried chicken, and I put on my jacket and run out the front door.
I’m not proud of being a meat eater. I feel like a little ashamed that I failed at being a vegetarian, and my shame was on full display at work today.
I’ve been at my job for more than three years, and every once in a while my office will have a free lunch for its employees. Every dish has meat in it. No joke. Every dish. I’m pretty sure there was meat in a birthday cake once. At the annual holiday party, we have a carving station. Sorry, vegetarians. I hope you like appetizers.
I would always complain, “Can you please order something vegetarian? Some people don’t eat meat.” I like to think I wasn’t a bitch about it, but it’s kinda ridiculous that every single dish has meat in it. I wasn’t alone. There were a few people in the office who were vegetarians, and we’d get a bag of chips and soda or something. Lame.
So anyway, for years, vegetarians were denied. Then something amazing happened. My coworker who was in charge of ordering food for a company-wide meeting came to me and said, “I’m ordering sandwiches. What veggie sandwiches would you like?”
I couldn’t believe it! After more than three years of me bitching, they were finally admitting that some people don’t eat meat. They were going to order vegetarian sandwiches.
This is a huge step forward for vegetarian civil rights in this office, so — of course — I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I eat meat now. I pretended to be a vegetarian. I happily ordered an egg salad sandwich for myself, and the other vegetarians in the office got their sandwiches, too.
I like to think this is a baby step toward getting back on the vegetarian bandwagon.