The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

Babies in toyland

5 Comments

Yeah, so, there’s an area of our living room that has basically turned into the Spawn’s playroom.

We put down a little ABC-themed mat and set up baby gates, and there’s a ton of toys.

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We spend a lot of time in this play area. We play with blocks and trains. We have this big musical arch that plays songs such as “ABC” by The Jackson 5, and The Boy can add the drums or piano to the songs. Truth to be told, the only reason I agreed to have kids is so I could play with Legos, but he’s still too young for that. Instead, I like to play with his Little People Batman set. It’s got Batman and the Joker in cars, and there’s a Batcave. It’s OK to be jealous. It’s pretty cool.

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Where does he get those wonderful toys? Also, how did a duck get into the Batcave?

Most of the time I just the ramps and crash the Joker and Batman into each other, and then Batman gets out of the car and asks the Joker for proof of insurance.

Of course, all of this playtime is fascinating to The Boy, but sometimes mighty, mighty good man David and I need a little more to keep us interested. Short attention spans, ya know. I blame television. We are forced to make up stories about some of the toys. Besides the vehicular adventures of Batman and the Joker, my favorite are the pirates.

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From left to right, that’s Bruce, Howie and Sebastian. They are gay. They are in a polyamorous relationship, and it’s totally not weird at all. Their reality show is going to happen any day now. I imagine TLC would title it something like “My Big Gay Pirate Wedding,” while Bravo would call it “Real Gay Pirates of San Francisco.”

Do you know why the middle one is named Howie? I’ll give you a hint.

howiepirate

Calvin has a love/hate relationship with the pirates. Sometimes he thinks they are the best and carries them around with him all over the place. Other times, I set them up on the playmat like they are looking at Calvin, and he will stop whatever he is doing and come over to knock them down. Maybe he paid good money to see the third “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie; or maybe Calvin just thinks the whole pirate thing is played out, too.

So yeah, this is my life. I write blog posts about toys now. Yes, I know. You’re welcome.

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Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/mocker/goober/mother in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, podcast, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

5 thoughts on “Babies in toyland

  1. I assume “Howie” is also on antidepressants and won’t touch anything or shake anybody’s hand?

  2. I just wrote a blog post about changing tables. Who are we?

    • This is something I said to my husband the other day: “I’m not going to buy that generic dish soap anymore. It’s not sudsy enough … Oh, dammit. I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

  3. Pingback: It’s a pirate’s life for me | The Sonia Show

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