Yeah, so, my work “holiday” party is Saturday.
I think having a holiday party in January is silly, unless that holiday is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, but OK. I guess I can understand it. Everyone is really busy in December with the holiday parties they actually want to attend. A January holiday party might have better turnout. Although, not this year, I suspect a lot of people will skip the party or arrive late because they will be watching the 49ers playoff game. I hear that football is really popular or something. Meh. It’s not baseball.
So anyway, there are a few things about my work holiday party that always amuse me.
First, there will be a lot of really short, very tight dresses on display at the party. Sure, why not? If you want to wear a little dress and show your coworkers your vagina, that’s your business. I’m pro-choice.
This always reminds me of a conversation we had in the office a few years ago before the holiday party:
One of my coworkers, an office busybody, came by my cube today to inform me of the dress code: “We are dressing classy tomorrow for the party.”
Me: “Did you say ‘classy’ or ‘assy’?”
Me: “Because I was planning on dressing assy.”
Second, there is a management obsession with drinking. We get a few emails in the days leading up to the party reminding as manager to set an example. Translation: Don’t get wasted, stupid! Whatever. I’m off the clock. You’re not the boss of me!
I never stay to the end of the party. We leave after the raffle, in which we never win because god hates us. Apparently, there is some crazy drunken shit happening, because every year the number of “please don’t get wasted” emails increases, and this year they are even trying to ol’ “you only get three drink tickets, and after that it’s a cash bar.” HA! Good luck, company.